TWD: losing game -part 1-

// ALL usual disclaimers! After the beautiful solo written by Lou, I had to respond. I split it in two. I haven't touched these characters in years but...I would this one time. It's an attempt at getting back in the saddle, and breaking out of my funk <3 Amelia is Lou's main OC, (the other one was Abel) Asma is mine. (and the other one was Ahmed).

Lou, Thank you so much for thinking of me, for writing such a beautiful (and sexy!) scene with my Asma, and for trying to give me some confidence back in my stuff. Your Negan was spot on! I worked on this piece to both give tribute to you (your fucking pieces are so amazing ! Even 3 years without writing, you kick ass ! I'm not worthy <3) and an attempt at keeping my promise to still write, no matter what. <3 <3 Part 1 is all about your Amelia and the aftermath <3//

Alexandria, 10 am.

Amelia was lost in her thoughts. She watched as Rick started to lecture her. She didn't pay attention to who was in that room with them, Daryl, Rosita, and Michonne.. it didn't matter to the woman who was deep into her thoughts. They were screaming but it felt as if she was in her own echo chamber, only listening to her own voice, her own screams. Her chestnut eyes were staring at an agitated Rick's figure but some black strands of hair teased her nose. He pointed at her and was walking in circles. His figure was blurry for Amelia but his eyes were clear for her to see. They were angry, disappointed even but most importantly worried. He was worried about her, about what could have been. What the hell was she thinking? How could she go to the Sanctuary on her own? On a pathetic suicide mission to rescue Asma? How did she think it would go? It would have been a miracle if Negan hadn't killed her on the spot and even sent her back home. Her action could have put the whole refuge in jeopardy. Amelia knew, but she didn't give two shits about it. Her eyes were defiantly staring at her leader and she curled her fingers into fists.

Several weeks ago, the Saviors and Negan came to Alexandria, they ransacked the place, killed Spencer and Olivia, and threatened almost everybody. Negan spotted Asma and started to taunt her but she held her head high, defiant despite her body shaking by his mere presence. He taunted her even more and she ended up hitting him with her head, making him punch her guts and punish her by killing Abel. The tall and broad blonde guy was one of Asma's former crew members. They met at the beginning of the Apocalypse and traveled together with the rest of Asma's group (Amelia, Sun, Ahmed). She watched as he fell to the ground, a bullet hole in his head, and heard the sick laughter of Negan as he enjoyed himself. Flashes of that day came back to the woman who still couldn't hear what was said to her. Because she could barely stand, Daryl gave her a chair so she could sit. Her hands were on her knees, holding onto it as if she dared herself to feel anything. Her body was cold, it felt as if she couldn't leave herself and drown in her memories. But she couldn't. Rick's voice kept pulling her back into reality. He finally walked closer to her and put his hands on her shoulders. The Eurasian looked at him, this time fully back into reality with the other members of the room.

« Amelia...Amelia, I get it. Asma is your friend and you want to save her. » Her chestnut eyes became more intense but her jaw refused to move just yet, preventing her from snapping at him. « But what you did was stupid! You could have been killed. You could have had Asma killed too. » His words felt like a slap in her face. The woman's eyes grew wide as she shot him an angry glare. How dare he say she put her friend's life in danger with her action? While he was becoming Negan's bitch, she had the guts to try and stop him. She went there with an assault rifle ready to kill anything and anyone in her way...despite knowing she wouldn't have made it alive. It didn't matter, as long as she at least tried. Her voice came out like a growl. She shrugged her shoulder to make Rick remove his hand from her and spat in his face.

« Doing nothing is what will kill her. Doing nothing is what will kill her Rick !! I have already lost all of my people. They... I have lost all of them. I can't afford to lose Asma. » She looked away from Rick. Amelia's body became stiff and her lips trembled.

« I know you're emotional... » -He began with.- « But Alexandria is your new home, its people are your people too. You can't take an action without weighing the impact it would have on all of us. »

He said dryly. He was right, in a way, they accepted to embrace Alexandria as their home and their people as theirs when the group came. Amelia was aware of that but she couldn't think rationally when one of her own was in danger. Rick knew how she felt because he felt the same way when he arrived. It was his group against the Alexandrians. He remembered when he pulled a gun at them, calling them weak, saying he would take over and rule it and they should be thankful because at last they would be prepared for the worst of the worst. Amelia reminded him of who he used to be before Michonne knocked some sense into him and he started to accept that he shouldn't give into his urges and old ways.

« You don't know /shit/ about me Rick! Stop pretending! Michonne would have been in Asma's shoes you would have done everything to rescue her! You know you would! Or Carl for that matter! So don't come and try to calm me with your bullshit! Asma is my family! She is! »

She shot him another death glare. Rick understood what she went through, he wanted to tell that everyone in that room had lost a loved one. Everyone experienced what she went through and grieved in their very own way. It was true that he didn't know her well, Asma's group being one of the most recent additions to Alexandria but they were not so different from him. He wanted to say something, but he knew she needed to vent so he wouldn't cut her off until she said her piece, which she quickly did. Rick leaned against the table of the room, his blue eyes staring at Amelia.

« When the outbreak happened, she found me and saved me! She was scared as hell and clumsy, and yet she saved me. She saved our group. Ahmed..with whom I started to dream of a new life, he gave his life so we could get to Alexandria. She saved him. Sun.. who died when the wolves attacked. She saved him. Abel...who died killed by Negan.. she saved him. She kept us alive until we got there...I thought I thought I could return the favor and save her too. I needed to rescue her. I TRIED...I fucking tried! And guess what ?! She saved me AGAIN! »

She hit her lap with both hands, clenching her fists as hard as she could. Her guilt was easy to read on her face. Michonne's features softened slightly as she could relate to Amelia's desperate attempt at paying her debt back. She felt like she owed Asma and failed her.

« What happened there, Amelia? » Daryl asked, his eyebrows furrowed as he was worried about her.

Amelia, despite being guarded with her emotions spent time with him. He didn't talk much but he observed. She was the one who handled transportation in Asma's former group and very often fixed their car and Asma's bikes. Daryl helped her grieve when he allowed her to fix his bike. She didn't say a word at the beginning, save for asking permission to work on his bike. He would watch her check it, fix what needed to be fixed, and then hand him the keys when she was done. It lasted several weeks before one day she finally started to open up. He couldn't exactly consider himself a friend of hers, but they had some sort of relationship... She looked at him, her lips trembling, and unclenched her fingers.

« I tried to infiltrate the Sanctuary to set Asma free... but I wasn't prepared. I-I got caught and was brought to Negan. Considering everything, they should have killed me when they had the chance. » She paused. « Asma was brought along, I guess he wanted to break her mind, make her submit. I don't know. I was defiant, I was ready to die because at least, I would have done something to help her but she stepped in. »

« What do you mean she stepped in? » Michonne asked her. Amelia's body became even stiffer and she looked away once again. Michonne crouched in front of her so she would look at her face. « What do you mean... she stepped in? » She asked again, her voice softer than before. « Amelia...We need to know. »

« Is she... is she going to die? » Rick asked, his gruff voice snapped Amelia out of it and she shook her head.

« Worse....She agreed to become his wife. He... He got what he wanted because of me. She agreed to.. she agreed to... » She allowed a sob to escape from her lips, prompting Michonne to hug Amelia to comfort her. Her eyes stared at Daryl. He nodded and then looked at Rick who ran his hand through his beard. That sounded like something Asma would do. It was making him sick to his stomach, so much so that he left the room to calm his nerves. Daryl followed him while Rosita came to Amelia's side and put her hand on her shoulder.

« You did what you needed to. I would have done the same if I were in your shoes. Hell.. I tried to kill Negan and...Oliva got killed because of that. » She said wiping away the tear that rolled onto her cheek. « She's tough. She'll get through this I am sure. » Amelia looked up to Rosita and shook her head.

« He's going to break her... » She bit back a sob. « He's going to break her if he treats her good if he fucks up with her mind. As long as she can hate him, she can fight him but as soon as she understands softness is gonna mess her up, he will use it against her and it'll break her in pieces. He's good at manipulating others, he's very good at it. He's gonna break her...I couldn't save her. I couldn't! » She said sobbing again as she held Michonne tighter.

« We're going to take you home. You need to rest up. »

« You're going to fight him back, right? » Michonne nodded. « I want to be part of it. I want to have a clear shot and kill this motherfucker. » Rosita smirked and patted Amelia's shoulder.

« Get in line, then. Once you've recovered. » She said helping Michonne get Amelia back on her feet. « I know you feel guilty, I know the feeling. We all do. Asma's tough. He can try as much as he wants to, but he won't get to her. Hold onto that thought. »

Amelia nodded, unable to say anything because her throat was too tight. She wanted to believe Asma would be alright and she would find her once war would happen. They had to find each other again, they had to. And they would.

-TBC-

S.O.A: rejection

S.o.A: Rejection :

A/N: Trying my hand at Elias x Asma relationship, my tragic lovers. Both are damaged in their own way and both are fatally attracted to one another but when their relationship is taking a different turn, both have to make a choice. Asma made hers and confronted him with her feelings but he chose a different path. They care a lot about one another and maybe at some point both would want the same thing and even have it, but it's not going to last.

Xxx  

His large hand grabbed her neck and his thumb stroked her soft cheek. His face was stern and tensed for he knew he would have to take a tough decision. Life was throwing lemons at him, once more. He was on a revenge trip but meeting Asma almost jeopardized it. She was damaged yes, he cared for her yes, but he couldn't give up on his goal for her pretty eyes. Those hazel eyes were giving him a worried look, one that was almost anticipating his upcoming words. She fell for him, he knew that. The way she spoke to him, the way she flirted with him and even her attempts at sobering up gave it away. After a couple of months spent in Charming, Asma finally gathered some courage and decided to tell him how she felt about him. « I think I'm falling for you. » It was thrown at him like a brick and the only response Elias could come up with was holding her neck and stroking her cheek.

Did he want to give into her feelings ? Give it a try? His blue eyes were gleaming with intensity as he was thinking of a decent reply. A solid minute passed and Asma realized that he might not share her feelings at all. After all, he'd just told her that he was a widow and lost a child to a gruesome murder. What did she expect? How foolish was that? He could feel her tense against him, he could see hope leave those pretty eyes as she was now expecting him to reject her. Elias remained silent, only a little more as he was still processing the situation in his mind. He liked her yes. He liked her but he wasn't in love with her. How could he? For about a year his heart was bleeding out because he lost the love of his life and his child. How could he open his heart again? How could he love again? And Asma... Asma was a lovely girl, but a damaged one. He didn't know everything but he was aware of an Oscar that kept haunting her dreams. He could see on her body, despite her tattoos, the harm that was done to her and yes he wanted to protect her. He wanted her to be safe, he needed her to be alright, stop drinking so much eventually and just enjoy her life. But he wasn't the best suited for that. He was way too dark for her and at best they would consume each other and destroy each other.

« You are so silent. » Asma finally told him. Her hazel eyes slowly getting filled with unshed tears. It made his heart sink for he knew she understood.

« I know. » He started with, his voice more guttural than usual. « I'm sorry about that. »

« I see » she sighed and tried to give him a smile but it failed. « Let's just say what you have to say. »

« You can't say that. I'm not the stranger who walked his bike into the town looking for a quick fixin' and you're not the girl who painted over racial slurs on her front door. » It made her chuckle.

« What are we then? » She put her hand on his chest and felt how tensed he actually was.

« I don't know... friends to say the very least. » He said, looking at her with an apologetic face.

« Friends.... » She repeated it, more to herself than to him. « I don't know if I want to be your friend Elias. » She said with a broken voice. « It's not...I don't know if I can do that. » She whispered before a shiver went down her spine and she slowly pulled away from him.

« Asma. We're adults. We can make it work. » She kept her fake smile on her lips, which disturbed him more than he thought it would. Why wasn't she screaming? Why wasn't she kicking a chair or something? He hated it when she swallowed her feelings and pretended to be fine, mostly because he could see she wasn't. « Talk to me, babe. »

« What is there for me to say? I am the one hanging on a reply from you. I said I thought I was falling for you and you just stayed there, stroking my cheek and staring at me. You want to be an adult? Then say NO to my face! Say No and get it done. Say NO! » She was shaking and shook her head at her own small outburst. Her smile vanished and she was just left there staring at him with her hands on her waist.

« ….......................... » She figured it out. Well, she was smart, she would have. Elias stroked the back of his neck and then looked away but she taunted him.

« What is taking you so long Elias? I saw you beat the crap out of a man in a bar fight! You didn't think twice before you hit him so why are you taking so long to hit me too? »

« I don't want to hurt you! Do you think this is easy for me? I don't want to come off as an asshole! I don't want you to think that I fucked you because I could and I don't give a crap! I give a damn crap about you! I care. »

« You don't. » She sneered. « If you did, you'd tell me you don't feel the same way. You'd tell me you don't want more than what we have. That you'd be around for shit and giggles and occasionally fuck me. That you can't get past your wife and child deaths, that you are still in love with her or that maybe I'm not your type and you can't fall in love with a girl like me! ANYTHING !!! you can tell me ANYTHING! I can take a blow. I can take many in case you didn't know! So go ahead! Give me your best shot! »

«Asma? What the fuck are you doing? »

« Saving ourselves some troubles.Don't leave me hanging. I need to hear it from you. » She said, scratching her arm and stomping on the floor. « Don't leave me hanging, just get it done. »

« You're looking for reasons to drink again. » He came up with it, mostly because he couldn't bring himself to be the reason for her drinking habit. He could see how hard she was trying to keep some composure and he realized that he hated to see her like this but she had a point.

« No. Not this time. I need to understand why you don't feel the same for me. Why you're able to make love to me as if I was the most important person on Earth one day, and reject my feelings the other day. I want to understand why you don't want to be with me. I need you to help me I need... I need... I fucking need you to answer to me so do it already! » She said looking away.

Each of her words hurt Elias but he couldn't just know why. He was well aware that by acting the way he did, he was jeopardizing a possible future for him, a reason to move on. He was turning his back on her and on happiness and maybe a part of him was mourning the future he would never have. He owed her a reply but he couldn't talk about his revenge, nor the SONS. He couldn't involve her in his crap and she made some solid points. He was still in love with his dead wife and couldn't let go of them. He just couldn't.

«Fine. Fine. Look, princess, I can't be with you. Not now, not later. I can never be with you because I will always be in love with my dead wife. She was the love of my life, she will always be. I care about you, I care very much about you and I want you to be safe and happy but you and I.. it's not a winning team. » He said with a convincing tone. It didn't require too many efforts since it actually wasn't a lie except that he could have been falling for her if he allowed himself to. He would have made a move on her if he wasn't looking for revenge. He would have given them a shot. But he didn't.

« Thank you. » Asma replied as she quietly took a deep breath. « Now that everything is settled, there's no need for us to mention it again. You don't love me, I do love you, I shall just deal with it. Now that's what I call being clear. Now we can go on our merry ways. » She turned on her heels. « You're still welcome if you want a tat or something. You're still welcome if you want to have a drink with me. It's not like I'd stop talking to you just because you don't want me. » Her voice was shaking and her throat was strangled so he knew she was about to run away.

« Sure thing. We'd do that. You're still welcome here. » He said quickly so she could leave and she did. She walked downstairs and exited his house so fast that he saw her silhouette from the window. His guts were upset and he took a moment to sit on the bed and contemplate what had just happened and what lied in the future for him. He chose revenge and he was going to complete his mission but he knew he hurt her and the mere thought was also hurting him.

Asma ran, she quickly went back to her home and closed the door behind her. She started to sob and slowly slide to the ground where she held her head between her hands. Being rejected by Elias hut her more than she believed it would. Tears were rolling down her cheeks for she was unable to stop them.It hurt but she expected it to happen anyway. He lost a wife. He lost a child. How was she going to compete against it? He cared for her, she knew that. If he didn't, he wouldn't try to temper her drinking habit, he wouldn't even make love to her, he wouldn't be so sweet and fun and pleasant with her. He wouldn't be like that. He cared. He cared.....

But why did it hurt that much then ?

Why ?

Stupid heart.

Warrior Princess -plot, pitch whatever-

//Just some random babble....wrote it like a pitch or something close to it, might probably go back to it someday ;) // 

Her life would never be the same anymore...

While the servants removed her shiny armor, the pink haired lady (who cut her hair short) was thinking about the changes in her life. Things indeed changed. She used to be a princess. She used to be before Barbarians kidnapped her and turned her into a slave. The Witch or the Devil's child as some called them became one of the most demanded "whores" in that foreign town. She took everything without a sob, without a single tear and planned her escape with a lot of patience. She met a very famous "Champion" or gladiator. His name was Fhareem the Great and he was one of the best, if not the best warrior of this time. He quickly fell in love with her and paid Asma's mistress to become her only client. While Asma wanted to use him at first, she pretty quickly fell in love with him and confessed her intentions to him. Farheem decided to help her escape and one night he killed the vigilantes who protected the brothel, killed her mistress and took the princess out of her prison.

They took a ship and she went back to her kingdom, but what she found there wasn't expected at all. Her father had been killed and the crown was worn by a usurper. The Chief of the army, the Brave and clever Ansur Jenna better known as The Sunrise. He humiliated the princess, calling her names in front of her people, killed Fhareem and put her in jail. She refused his proposal so he decided to turn her into his personal slave but Asma refused to go through the same situation again. When the servants took her to the "bathroom" the young slave decided to escape, she stole a blade and killed her guardians, she then left the royal palace and lost herself in the crowd. A few days later, while she was stealing a few apples and seasonal fruits, Asma met Erwan Nieesma, the chief of the rebellion. He was a true patriot and very loyal to the Good King Asma's father was so he took the princess under his wing. He trained her and together they built a very strong army. Two years after they met, they decided to fight against the "new king's" army. They grew close to each other, he lost an eye, she cut her hair very short, earned a few battle scars and became a real warrior princess.

That day, she came back from a battle and was slightly injured. Fellow "sisters" started to undress the princess. Little did she know that the King was waiting for her in her tent....Little did she know that her life was going to change again...