Targaryens letters: 1 & 2

Targaryens letters:

// A/N: All the usual disclaimers: GOT doesn't belong to Me, Bäahal belongs to me. After she left King's Landing, she would write letters to her sister in order to keep her in the loop of things. 

xxxxxxxxx

Dear Dany.

I thought long and hard about what to say ever since I left king's landing but I couldn't find my words. I couldn't face my emotions so I left with nothing but a hug and a promise to come back later. When I left that day, I had to say I felt both relieved and sad. I didn't want to leave your side but I had to. As you know Ruling isn't for me, advising isn't for me either. I couldn't sit and watch you from afar. It didn't sound like me. It wasn't me. It still isn't.

I had to go out there, push myself to my limits so I could know who I was.... who I am. I need to know who I am. For far too long I had been the product of my father's heinous crime. I had been a slave, a dancer, an assassin.... and most recently I have been a sister and even a warrior but... who is Bäahal? Who am I? I have no idea, Daenerys. I don't know and not knowing is driving me crazy because I can't project myself to the future.

I left for another reason. One that you knew from the very beginning given how poorly concealed my emotions were. I care for Lod Jaime. I care for him and I can't let him be on his own. He's just lost the love of his life.... he's hated by many, he must feel lonely. Eventually, should I learn someone killed him, I want to give him a proper burial. I can't explain why I am doing it but I have to. So I will find him, even if it takes me years I have to find him. And myself in the process. I hope you will forgive me, Dany. I hope you won't believe I am abandoning you. I hope this letter finds you.

With love.

Bäahal.

Xxxxxxxx

Dear Dany,

It's been a couple weeks now since I Left King's landing. I should have said something earlier but couldn't find the strength to write a letter. I feel the need to apologize to you. I miss you and I know you probably feel the very same for me right now. I will come back, I promise you that, I will be back. Being far away first seemed like a very bad idea. I was missing you badly, I was wondering if my decision to leave was sound and right. I was afraid I made a mistake and somehow I guess I was afraid to find myself. Then it became clearer and clearer as I visited new places. People never had the visit of the

a sovereign before until I came and I think, no I'm sure, it's helping people. it's helping you. I want nothing but to help you reign as peacefully as possible and have you sit on the throne with our kin, Jon. I know you haven't officially claimed anything regarding your relationship with Jon but it's clear that you care for him. it's clear that you love him. I see the way you look at him and the way he looks at you and I see...I see beauty.

oh sister........... it is a very lonely journey. one I am not sure I will be able to do by myself. I am filled with doubt, sister and fear but as any true Targaryen, I have to move forward, so I will.

let me know how you're doing.

I love you