DOYA: November's rain

DOYA: November's rain

A/N: Just a quick follow-up to 21 guns, but it's taking place before the Thomas' case.

Xxxxx

Three weeks later, Baby, 4 pm.

Dean's emerald gaze drifted from the road to Oya who was sleeping all curled-up against the door. His jaw tightened at her sight and he averted his gaze from her to the road again. Three weeks went by since they faced Pluto and during this whole time, Dean couldn't wash the bitter taste of their last big fight. It wasn't even a fight per se, Dean had just been an asshole. A worried asshole, but still, he made her cry. He made her cry. Dean hated that feeling, the guilt that was churning at him and he didn't stop feeling from the moment he burst out of anger in that motel bathroom. He couldn't take his words back, couldn't un-make her cry, and had to live with the idea that he really was an idiot for even considering she would be fine in a world without him.

How could she be when he wouldn't be fine in a world without her? Dean knew he was one hell of a hypocrite because he was doing the very thing he forbade Team Free Will to do: sacrifice themselves. He was willing to dive headfirst towards danger just so he wouldn't have to bear the pain of surviving a loved one. He would trade places with Sam if it was possible to die instead of someone else. He nearly killed himself trying to resurrect his brother in the past. He would do anything to make sure that the world was a little safer for those he cared for, including Oya. The dirty blonde hunter watched her as her chest heaved up and down. They already had been down that rabbit hole. Both of them had seen the other dead in one way or another. Dean killed a monster who stole her appearance, she had been nearly killed by a deity and he couldn't even remember all those close-calls that happened to her. On the other hand, she also saw him injured and almost die at the hands of a monster.

He could still remember Oya's scared face as she tried her best to heal him. He could hear her worried voice as she was trying to keep him awake and make sure his injuries were all treated. He could feel the tears on his skin as she cried on top of him so he knew she went through the same bullshit he had to endure. Still, Dean was a hypocrite because he refused to watch her sacrifice herself for him. He refused to be the one people died for. He refused to survive each and every one of them and he wouldn't want to survive Oya. He didn't want to be left alone, once again. He didn't want to be sitting there, drinking himself to death because he didn't know what to do without her.. without Sam.. without Castiel and any other person who loved him. He didn't want to end up alone and he certainly didn't want to lose her. Oya turned on her seat and slowly opened her eyes, so she could glance at him. A soft smile crept on her lips before she fell asleep again. Dean held onto the heel a little harder as he remembered their conversation after.

Oya had him promise he wouldn't hunt Pluto alone. She told him that the tendency to put himself in harm's way was scaring her. He could still remember her big hazel eyes staring at him, fresh with the tears she cried. He could still remember her hands working on his wounds cleaning them up, removing the broken glass that got stuffed into his cuts. It was a long and tedious work but she did it anyway. She did it because she had to take care of him and do something while she fixed what he did. Dean felt how heavy her heart was as she removed the glass shards and averted her gaze from his wound to his face. He could see how upset she was, her face didn't lighten up after they addressed the issue. He apologized to her, ashamed of his outburst, concerned by her tears, and moved beyond measure because she loved him. She loved him with her whole being and he knew that. Why wouldn't she want him to die if she didn't love him? Why would she want to stay with him and fight with him? Why would she cry, if she didn't mean it? He tried to comfort her and held her cheek with his calloused hand. That made her stop tending to his wounds and finally had her look at him. Oya bit her bottom lip and leaned into his touch.

“You have to keep in mind, Dean, that wherever you go I go. We're a team. Our lives are entwined and it's the way things are now...It is the way it will be forever. I'm yours. You're mine. Nothing can come in between us, not even Death.”

Her words resonated with him and just as he remembered her words, Oya, who had fallen back asleep just held onto his thigh and leaned against his shoulder. Here she was, in the flesh and still with him. He couldn't blow it again with her -how nice of Oya to tolerate him-, but he still needed to find the son of the bitch who almost killed her and make him pay. Pluto, asshole. A Winchester was coming for you!

-TBC-