MODERN JAIME AND BAAHAL : THE TASTE OF YOU

 

I have never felt like this for anyone before you, unable to keep my mind off of you.

You're in my every thought, in my head when I'm not even trying to think of you.

I have to admit, I miss the taste of you, the way your skin feels against my lips.

I miss the way your skin taste when I start licking and sucking on it, I really do.

I surprise me when I'm alone in my office thinking of you vividly. I remember.

I remember the sound you make when you moan, right after you tasted me.

I remember the sound you make when you thrust into me for the first time.

I can feel your body get hotter as you fill me up, I can feel you throb, I remember.

And always, that makes me touch myself because I miss you. I miss feeling you.

I love when we kiss, when our lips found each other's when you thrust deeper inside.

I love when you push me against the wall and make it hard for me to escape you.

I don't want to, but I love the idea of being pressed between a wall and you. So sexy!

I love when you whisper in my ear as you fuck me, telling me I'm a bad girl,

telling me I'm a tease or calling me your firecracker. It turns me on so much, you do.

Do you have any idea of how much sexy you are to me? How much I want you?

I don't think so. My hands do touch myself, rubbing that wet little cunt for you.

I get lost in my fantasies, wishing that you were the one touching me, fucking me.

I guess that's what's called having a Jaime fever, I like the term. I love missing you.

I love being naughty and playing with my breasts and wet slit thinking it's you.

I love imagining you whisper dirty little things in my ear when you're fucking me.

Haaan... oohhh. ; and the moans become louder, and I go harder inside my cunt.

I love the way you smell, no matter when. Before I ravish you, during or after.

Your scent drives me crazy, your scent belongs to me. I love that stubble too.

And you're in shape, my older Golden Lion, and I love that about you.

Tall, strong... big and wet for me in ways I'm sure you've never been before.

Let me boast. Let me keep thinking I'm your best fuck and you don't have enough.

Let me wait until we're done so I can cuddle you and take care of you.

Aftercare? It's on point. And you know you have my heart anyway, especially then.

GoT Jaime x Bäahal : My everything

 

There is something about your emerald eyes and the way they look at me.

They're carefully studying me, as if you wanted to know every expression I make.

They're scolding me, when you consider I'm being out of my mind or out of line.

They're comforting me, when you see the tears in my purple hues, they get warmer.

They're loving me, when you look at me and think I'm not seeing you. Oh so loving!

I've never been loved the way you love me, Jaime. I've never been loved at all.

Except by my mother, but it was maternal love. Except by Dany and Jon : Family.*

No man ever looked at me and saw a person, I was nothing but a possession.

The jewel of Astapor, as they always called me, because they wanted the body only.

But you, you're looking at me as if I was someone and you embraced me fully.

You understand I would be stubborn and would always storm into your room.

You understand I love fiercely and would do anything in my power to protect you.

You know I love you, I never hid it, especially not once I realized it was true love.

Your gaze was the first thing I have noticed when we met, the honesty, I fell for it.

I fell for the desire to see me survive the war, the desire to truly help mankind.

I fell for the genuine love you had for your wretched sister, you were intense and true

Your eyes were the first thing I fell in love with and I was seeking your gaze

Oh the Butterflies I had in my stomach whenever our eyes met, your green, my violet

You are my everything, there is no other way to put this feeling into words, my love.

I have never been loved by anyone the way you love me. You risked your life for me.

You went above and beyond when I needed to rest and stayed close to me willingly.

You made the room small when there were too many people inside so I could breathe.

You kept me safe until I had gained the necessary pounds and healed from starvation.

You loved me back then, no matter how I looked like, no matter what I said to you.

You loved me when I came for you at Winterfell, enough to come back to the living.

Jaime, you are my everything and I would be damned if I didn't protect you...us...

I'd be damned if I didn't love you with all the fibers of my body. You're all I have.

And I want us to have a chance at being happy together. So I'll fight for us.

GoT : (modern) : Butterfly

GoT : (modern) : Butterfly

A/N: Bäahal was able to digest what happened with her ex-fiancé. In this piece, we see her struggle between the anger and pain it still provokes to this day and yet the changes she's going through. Sometimes, when someone hurts you, you can't just move forward and bury what they did. She's better today, but this wound is still not closed. 

xxxxxxx

She misread the names on the guest list. Elias was never going to attend the charity ball. Why would he when it was notorious that the silver heiress was the one running the show? How could he properly present himself to such a public event with all the press that would be in both of their faces? He left Westeros like a coward all those years ago abandoning the heiress and breaking her heart altogether because her sister bought him. He did promise to never return, but that was years ago and she seemed to have moved on. He managed to let her know that he didn't care for her when she found him on social media, so Elias thought it was good enough for him to make a comeback.

With Daenerys' money, he managed to become his own person, a Dornish heir who still managed to build his own business without the interference of his father. This earned him the respect of his peers and his own father and of course allowed for him to have a successful life as a businessman. He met a Westerosi woman during one of his trips and the two became a couple but he made sure that she would be shielded from the press like Bäahal had never been. Elias never stopped looking for her, he devoured any piece of the press he could find about her. He watched from afar as she suffered from their separation and despite his guilt, he made a deal and couldn't fix the mess he was responsible for. Bäahal was so beautiful, even when she was sad and walking alone in the streets of the Red Keep, she was looking beautiful.

He followed her charity work, and had surprised himself with wanting to reach out to her, see how she was doing, apologize for the way he treated her before, but could he really do this? Could he walk back and pretend that they were ready to move forward? Could he be honest? He knew he was a shit person, he was an asshole and the last she would want to see so of course, he refused to attend this party. He couldn't humiliate her more than she would eventually be once the bad press would be aware of his presence in the country. He knew there would be pictures, probably interviews he would give and his name would be plastered all over social media. Their past relationship would be mentioned times and times again since she was hosting a charity ball at the same time he would be in the country. Elias knew she wouldn't have it easy and would have to put on a brave face in front of the media like she'd always done. After all, she was a lonely soul wasn't she?

But Elias knew nothing of the Dragon Daughter. He knew nothing of her resilience and strength and knew nothing about her pride. Bäahal when she was wounded, would always find a moment to lick her wounds but would attack sharply. One of the few things she held dear were her honor and that had her slap Jaime after Highgarden when his words went out of line. That would make her bite at the paps, and she would be even harsher if they were to actually meet again. Elias knew she would destroy him, and she would throw her pain at his face but what he failed to understand was that beyond the pain, there was anger. Upon hearing he was back in Westeros, the silver heiress needed a moment to collect herself. It did shock her, and seeing his face again brought back so many memories that almost choked her to near tears. Elias broke her trust and broke her self-esteem. His betrayal made her reconsider her ability to love and be loved but most of it, made her think that she didn't deserve to be. Because of him, she shielded herself once more, and still had trouble thinking that Jaime could actually care. Because of him, it took her some time before she stopped second-guessing his intentions. He cared for her, wanted her to be near otherwise he wouldn't go to such trouble. Elias made it harder for her, but he didn't prevent her from loving again.

In the end, love prevailed and she survived. She was better today, more beautiful than ever, and even more powerful and settled than she used to be. Yes, the family issues were public and she still was ostracized by most of Daenerys sycophants, but she was starting to build herself a life of her own, something she could cultivate on her own. The underground dance scene was challenging but rewarding and she made actual friends along the way. Her charity work was more and more visible and she became an expert, so to speak. She was a raw diamond that finally was being shaped and polished and no one, not even her sister could stop her from shining. On top of it, her heart was floored and filled with love, and discovering her own emotions, the silly butterflies, the hot cheeks and coy smiles made the woman look even more fulfilled and satisfied. This was intriguing -Daenerys was suspecting she was seeing someone, but still kept her distance from her since Highgarden- even the press and pictures of her on the press highlighted a shift in the woman's way of carrying herself. Still.... despite the anger that was boiling within her veins, Bâahal was still hurt to see that this person was in town. His presence was making her nervous and when she was nervous the only thing Bäahal could do was dance, so she went to train harder this time, pushing herself to her limits while the Charity Ball was still being prepared.

-TBC-

GoT : Regular: Spiraling

GoT : Regular: Spiraling

A/N: Sometimes Bäahal wonders if her little "desire" isn't hurting those around her, but it sometimes 

xxx

Bäahal took a liking to take long walks mostly because they helped her rest her mind and relax. It had been weeks now since her return to the castle, and she was able to visit more places than just the garden or the dragons' den. She was able to take longer walks within the walls of the Red Keep, spend more time with her sister and with Jon and of course, occasionally speak with Tyrion. He seemed to have been less tense since the princess had been seen outside and had started to talk to her sister. He seemed to appreciate the efforts she was making, but he knew how much it did cost her. The princess was devastated by the first reception to the news of her love for the knight and the fact he reciprocated these feelings too. Yet, she didn't give up. The silver princess was stubborn and Tyrion knew she wouldn't give up on his brother this easily. She couldn't.

Bäahal was well aware of her own stubbornness and while she did question herself a few times, she never regretted this personality trait. It was what drove her, what helped her survive all those years when she was still enslaved. She couldn't claim to never be wrong and she never claimed that the cursor was never misplaced -after all, she did want to die for Daenerys, thinking her life had only meaning if she sacrificed it.- but she sometimes knew that she was right. Loving Jaime was right. Fighting for this love was right and she refused to give up on him and give up on them. When she thought of it, did she actually listen to what was said to her? She remembered when Jaime was trying to push her away, making sure that she would stay away from him. She remembered leaving Highgarden, defeated and unable not to love him.

She remembered trying really hard to move forward, to do as he said but always her heart brought her back to him. If he didn't love her, then she would love him from afar. The princess was ready to live a life where her love was unrequited but she would at least be able to look after him. Her desire to protect the man was greater than her ability to accept love from a stranger. Maybe all of this was wrong, maybe she was putting him through way too much. Her stubbornness was also selfish in nature and this morning, Bäahal realized that her own desires put those she loved at risk. By loving Jaime and refusing to give up on him she was potentially putting her friend Lady Kyra and Jaime at risk of being executed by her sister. Dany was known for her wrath, she was known for her reckless decisions and one bad move from Bäahal and there would be nothing left of the house Lannister. 

The realization wiped the smile from her face, as she was starting to feel guilty. Yes, maybe she should have listened to Jaime and stayed in her cabin for the night but being far away from him was asking too much from her. Being far away from the knight when it was possibly the only moment they could share was hurting Bäahal, so she didn't listen to him, so she stormed into his cabin as she always did and she cried her love for him. He could have said no. He had resolved, he was determined but could only last if she walked the walk with him. Instead, she forced him to have a taste of what it could have been if they were together. She had them sleep in the same bed, she had them kiss a true kiss. Her eyes filled themselves with unshed tears, once again because of Jaime but this time mostly because of her own actions. Tyrion was anxious, and he had good reasons to be. He had tried to warn her off of this road, in order to protect both his brother and the princess from heartache but she didn't listen.

Lady Kyra herself told her that they should probably not be together, at least not without her sister's blessing and what did Bäahal do? She went ahead and still managed to spend time with the knight, crossing a line she shouldn't have, making it impossible for both of them to return to simply wishing the best to each other from a distance. Her selfishness was now apparent and the princess felt her heartbreak. Why did she have to hurt those around her? With her simple actions, she hurt everyone, from Daenerys to Jaime, from Lady Kyra to Jon Targaryen. From simply wanting to live her love story, she added pressure and pain to an already delicate situation, fueling the fire with her wild emotions. Could it be that she was bad? A demon? The thought crossed her mind as doubt was settling in her heart. Perhaps she was bad, perhaps she caused the deaths of those around her, perhaps she should have died a long time ago or remained in a life she at least knew. As her mind wandered and she was starting to see things with a distorted vision, Bäahal shook her head and stopped walking.

Just a few steps away was Jaime who was walking, again, towards the war room. Since she was leaving her private quarters more often, they were able to see each other a little more and exchange a smile, a nod, and he would sometimes stop by and have a conversation with her. Those moments were highlights of her day, reminding her that she wasn't doing this for nothing and wasn't being selfish at all. Those moments reminded her that she actually cared for someone else but her and she was already sacrificing a lot in order for them to be happy. She was ready to keep her distance between her and Jaime if that meant saving his life. She was willing to let her sister decide for her future and was willing to keep things to herself if that was needed. She agreed not to see him as often as she wished when they were at the Red Keep. She agreed to keep the memories of them together in the boat and cherish them until the very end if that was all that they could have. But on top of this, she also learned that she had the right to be happy.

Jaime made her happy, and was the only thing she could positively say she wanted for herself. Wanting to be with him didn't make her a bad person, it didn't make her a dangerous person who destroyed everything around her. That was false. That was twisted, and that was her panicked heart that wanted to make things easier for others and take the risk of making things harder for herself. Wasn't she already sacrificing enough? Couldn't she wish to have something just for herself? Well, she could and she did. As her body warmed up next to Jaime's, the young Targaryen gently waved at him, her cheeks turned a darker shade that indicated that he still made her blush, even now, and a soft smile on her lips. It was a simple gesture, but one that filled the knight with as much joy as it did fill the princess' heart. He resumed walking, fastening his walk towards the war room but seeing each other was enough to fuel their love for each other, And just like that, the parasitic thoughts just vanished and she was able to breathe again. 

-TBC- 

Doya : Back to Basis

Doya : Back to Basis

A/N : A moment between the two of them, They just know each other really well.

Xxxxxx

Oya was stretching while Dean was reprising her jacket. He insisted on working on it, patching the whole thing up just so she could keep on wearing it had been a mean he found to exorcise his anguish. Patching her up lately had been a good way for him to making sure she was alive -because he could touch her- and that he didn't miss anything. They should have been moving forward already, it wasn't the first time either of them had to experience near-death. It wasn't the first time they had to save each other asses from a certain death yet this one was difficult to move past. They both knew why. Pluto was still alive and roaming freely on Earth. He was still preparing Chuck knew what and it wasn't the last of him they had seen just yet. Dean also didn't want to argue with Oya over the fact he was pissed off at the missed opportunity he had when they crossed paths with the pagan god a couple months ago.

She could have told him it was him. She just needed to point him to Dean and then Dean would have dived headfirst into a battle he would have lost. His desire to kick the pagan god's ass was strong, maybe stronger than ever because of this missed opportunity but Oya did have a point. What good would that have been for him to rush into battle without preparation? That was exactly what she did and it nearly killed her. At least she had the excuse of not knowing he was the pagan god since he was disguising himself as a basic monster, but Dean wouldn't have had that excuse. He would have known it was a powerful pagan god, he would have known it was the one who nearly killed Oya and he would have known that it was a bad idea running towards danger without knowing what it was and how to put it down. He would have been stupid, he would have made her cry -and not just her. His brothers Sam and Castiel would have too-. That didn't mean it wasn't frustrating to know that the man almost responsible for his worst nightmare was still alive and kicking.

Oya could feel the unspoken tension between the two of them and the growing impatience in the heart of her partner. She could tell he was angry and she could tell he was worried. When she came home all bruised up and with torn clothes, he feared the worst. How could not after nearly losing her? She made him panic, she made him worry and that was one thing Oya hated the most. She put both legs in front of her and wrapped her arms around her knees. She wanted to tell him they'd beat the god but wasn't even sure she would sound convincing, so she didn't try. Instead, she simply looked at him, as he was working on her jacket in silence. She looked at him and hoped he could feel just how fiercely she was in love with him. She was staring at his fingers, working swiftly on the tanned fabric of her jacket, and thought of her late friend Isaac Stenton. The regular human who befriended the hunter she was years ago.

For a long while, he was the only « friend » she allowed in her life. She would let him call her and talk about life, give her pieces of advice and in general just give her the support and warmth she lacked and needed. Back in America and still ashamed to go see the Thomases, all the human interactions she had were with her good friend Isaac. He would have loved to see her today, with repaired relationships with Sarah and Josh and an actual family with Team Free Will. He would have been proud of her, for allowing people back into her heart and she was certain he would have probably cried a single tear or two, knowing she let herself fall in love again. It wasn't so bad after all, she kept her promises to Isaac in a way

He would have berated her, for not talking to Dean about what she'd noticed. He would have been angry at her for hiding her emotions regarding the pagan god and her near-death experience from Dean. Knowing this made her roll her eyes and she stood back up and walked towards the hunter, well-determined to talk to him. Just when she did, Dean had just finished and showed her the result of his hard work, which had Oya grew her eyes wide and knitted her brows together. Shit! He was cute! He was so cute with that satisfied smile on his lips that she decided to focus on the beautiful thing he just did instead of bringing more chaos and despair to the two of them. Her arms wrapped around his frame and she gently pulled his head against her chest, in a tender gesture. Her fingers ran through his dirty blonde mane and she planted a kiss on top of his head.

« Thank you...It's beautiful. »

« No, thank you. »

Was all he said. She knew he opened the dialogue by saying something she would inevitably bring back later, but she knew he was ready to talk to her, to let her ask questions and find a way to answer them with his own words. He knew Oya by heart and knew she was relentless and wouldn't stop until she'd started the conversation they needed to have, so they would both feel better. And the beauty of everything was that she knew exactly who he was, how he did things and she could make him do the things she wanted/ needed to. After all, they were a dynamic duo, a well-tuned machine... life partners.

-TBC-

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ishtar: Regrets

Chronicles of the primeval gods: Life and Death of Ishtar: Regrets

A/N : Ah, Ishtar and his complicated feelings. We'd think he'd move on but he clearly is stuck there.

Xxxxxxx

Ayasha wasn't the only one who couldn't find Elpis and the Sin no matter how hard they were trying to. Ishtar had been looking for his enemies, using all the resources available to him but even with his immense power, the New All-Father couldn't find his sister. She always escaped him no matter what he did. It infuriated him, not just because he couldn't find Elpis, but because he couldn't forget about her. Her ghost followed him wherever he went, and hallucinations of her took over at night when he was the most vulnerable to his own desires. The shape of her frame, the illusory warmth of her body, the soft pink locks, and the ebony skin all came back to his mind, taunting him in his dreams and tortured him when he was awake. He could never forgive himself for his betrayal.

She could never let him breathe, no matter what he did. He tried to kill her twice in his mind, ensuring that she would no longer haunt him but it was to no avail. Always, did her spirit come back to him, mocking him for having dreamed of being hers, taunting him for killing her for good when they would meet on the battlefield. He dreaded that instant when he would face her again. He knew that his betrayal broke her spirit free from the mental conditioning his whole family participated in. She no longer was the innocent lamb with the untapped power that could put any of them to shame. She no longer was the obedient little goddess who was willing to go with her older brother on battlefields to influence men. She no longer was his little sister, his pink flame, his adored one, and the one he wished to lace his destiny with. The last part always stung because he knew she would never choose him.

She never chose him. She always chose the Sin. He remembered the arguments, the desperate attempts at making her stop seeing this wretched abomination. He remembered the anguish he felt about her choosing another and the heartbreak of never being an option she'd choose from. He remembered the jealousy he felt and how it burned his soul. His heart and chest were always hurting, burning hard anytime he would lay his eyes on her because he would see another man. He would see another man put his hands on her, run his fingers through her pink locks, whisper in her ear that she was his, claiming her over and over and tainting her in doing so. He couldn't fathom the idea that someone else was her chosen one and even less that he would never be hers. She would never be his. Desperate and angry he drove that blade into her heart, sealing her fate, punishing her forever. Desperate and angry he drove her away from him for good. He regretted his choice, and he knew that he would have regretted it the same if not more should the blade have killed her for good. He harmed Elpis, the one he swore to never hurt. He hurt her because his selfish desires took over his brain. Things could still have been different, should he have been more patient.

Now he couldn't forget about her and he couldn't forgive himself.

The only choice was for him to keep moving forward.

And he would.

-TBC-

I lost you -modern verse-

 

I lost you, in a moment of euphoria and joy, I ended up losing you.

You were an oasis to me, someplace I would rather be than my home.

You were a promise to me, a promise to a better future, and a better life.

How could you? I can't even fathom the idea of you never being honest with me.

I have good eyes, maybe the best in the whole world because I can see through smoke

I can see when someone lies to me and you never did, not until you decided to leave.

Yet, I decided that my eyes might not have been good and I was too young to realize.

My sister convinced me that you weren't good from the start and I blindly believed it.

A prince of Dornes, one of the less trustworthy partners to have, and I believed her.

How could I not when you suddenly decided to leave me behind?

How could I not when years later when I finally reach out, you shut me down?

« I don't need you » you said « I never loved you. » You said. « Leave me alone. »

Those words felt like knives dived deep into my heart. I couldn't breathe.

We met when I was 18, got engaged when I was 22 and you disappeared!

After we've been talking about a house, a business, and a baby, you vanished.

Only to spite in my face when my chest was open and my heart bleeding.

You didn't want me, you never did. And you left me to nurse my wounds on my own.

Oh you taught me something, yes, you taught me well! People are assholes.

Never trust a man until he showed you his true colors, never fall in love again.

I learned my lesson, for years I kept it to myself, focused my mind on myself.

I was convinced I would be abandoned again. After all, they all left, they always did.

But all changed when I met my Golden Lion. All of my walls and false ideas died

suddenly I saw the light.

Suddenly I was reborn.

And today I will never let you hurt me again, no matter how hard you try.

I've grown-up, I'm mature, and I have found something you never gave me, ever :

TRUTH