Pride and Elpis: you're different

« You are different. At first, I wanted to ignore this truth, look away and wish I could have my beloved back, but it became impossible to lie to myself any longer. You are different. You are... better. I realized that the memories of you that I had, were biased because I was blinded by the childish love I felt for you. You were magnificent, you were overwhelmed and your lies and deceits, although painful, became my truth. The older you were a liar, he « arranged » the truth for me not to be mad at him. He made sure I believed his twisted tales and silver-tongued words, so I wouldn't leave him. He wasn't true, yet I still loved him.

I realize that I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted to be respected and he gave it to me so I swallowed anything he said, be it true or false. I didn't want to lose him, to lose the only person in the whole universe who saw me as I was and who accepted me. Was it fair? Was it good? It wasn't. I grew frustrated over the years and while in prison, I had plenty of time to think of what we just were. I hung onto the false memories we shared, hoping that maybe if I wished it hard enough, it would become true. But you are different. You are not the older you. With you, I found something better. I found a better Sin than the one you once were. You are true. You are real. Your words, no matter how cutting they are, speak the truth. You're honest, despite what you embody. You chose to set me free, put me out of my misery and discover me.

I have changed. I'm not the same as I used to be. I guess I grew up during my exile. I am not looking for the puppy love we shared in the past, or to be one of your many mistresses. I don't want to be seen as beneath you, as a pawn to your game. I am your equal and I will prove it to you. Your thirst for revenge, your ambition, your desire to rule over the universe are shared by my very soul. I want to help you get there, I want to be by your side when you crown yourself the King of the Universe. I want to bring you comfort, joy, peace and fuel your thirst for more at the same time. I want you to look at me as the one person you can't exist without. Your soul mate, your better half. I want us to start fresh again, start over with nothing but our truths. You're different...you're different and I love it. All I am asking for is for you to give me a chance to know you. Like we discussed already, I want to spend more time with you. I want to understand you. I want to fall in love with /you/ and not the ghost of your past-self that still haunts me. Well... I am not worried about that last part, because as you can see, I'm already falling for you. You are different. You are better. »