Love and whatnots: shower

Love and whatnots: Shower

Xxxxxxxxxx

Your strong hands cupped both of my cheeks while I turned the water off in order to have a better look at you. Your taller figure was towering mine, engulfing me in a comforting shadow. My panicked hazel hues stared at you but you smiled at me. You always smiled at me. Your thumbs stroked my cheeks, slightly distracting me away from the stress I was feeling that day. You always understood me, my silence and the words I couldn't say when I couldn't cope with life. You always knew what I needed, how I needed it; An anchor to reality. I needed to feel real again, myself again and you were always there. Your hands-on my cheeks guided my gaze to yours, where I could see your beautiful baby blues. For a minute, there was nothing in the world but you and me in that shower.

I wanted to apologize on that day, say that I couldn't help but feel sorry to put you through this ordeal. I wanted to say that you deserved better than a wife whose mind sometimes broke into a million pieces. I wanted to apologize, for not being as strong as I was supposed to be... A beacon of hope who had lost all of it...but you never wanted me to. You never let me finish my sentences, you never felt that I had to apologize for this. Your hands.. on that gloomy day, your hands healed me. As you were washing my hair, I slowly got anchored back to reality. I was back in the moment, with you in that shower. I remember my hands running over your strong back, I remember my fingers sinking into the hard skin of your shoulder blades and my body pressed against yours. I remember holding you so tight that I feared I would break you at that moment and I remember you holding me back.

I kissed your shoulder and I leaned against your chest, while the warm shower was running down her entwined bodies. I love you, for you can see me at my most vulnerable and still love me. I love you, for you never gave up on us when I always gave you a way out. I love you  because you said you didn't want a way out and would always choose me, all of me..all the time.