GoT : (Regular) What now ?

GoT : (Regular) What now?

 

A/N: Was thinking about my baby. Especially after the trailer. My sweet princess, my hopeful baby. It’s just a little conversation she’s having with Tyrion (who is also another one I love).

 

Xxxxx

 

“Princess. It is just me, please don’t fret. I would like to share a drink with you tonight.”

 

Tyrion’s voice made the princess gasp with surprise. She wished her visitor had been Jaime just so she could see him in the secrecy of her room. Jaime was very cautious ever since they arrived at King’s Landing. He wanted to do the right thing and didn’t want to repeat the same mistakes he did with Cersei. So he wouldn’t hide. He wouldn’t lie. He wouldn’t act as if his love for the princess was shameful and he certainly would not disobey the queen’s orders.  Therefore, he put some distance between the princess and him, forcing himself to stay away from her no matter what he saw, and if he was to spend time with the princess, then they couldn’t be alone for a long time just so nobody could be suspicious of them.

 

Come to think of it, it wasn’t that difficult for the knight for Commander Targaryen and himself had to work on identifying the traitors who attacked the princess. He would spend most of his time devising a plan that could help them deal with the threat. It was understood that the princess would remain hidden in the castle so the news of her survival would not reach the ears of the traitors. It was understood that they would need to be apart from one another for a while, taking the risk to be separated forever, should the knight die during his mission. It was understood that Bäahal had no say in the matter and she submitted to the decision Jon took for her.

 

“I’m going to open the door. How nice of you, Lord Tyrion, to pay me a visit.” -She said as she opened the door. -

 

Her hair was disheveled, her face looked worn out as if she had not slept for days. She was still beautiful, her beauty wasn’t tarnished by her tiredness, but she was sad, defeated even and he couldn’t miss the red streaks on her eyes, a sign that she had been crying for a while now. Tyrion was carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. He narrowed his gaze as he observed the silver-haired princess and put the bottle of wine on the table.

 

“I just wanted to see you. It’d been a while since our last conversation.” -He started with before he fixed them two glasses of wine- “I wanted to see how you were coping with the order Commander Targaryen gave you.”

 

“You mean…. How I take the fact to be separated from your brother?” -She asked, lifting a brow as she grabbed the glass of wine and took it to her lips –

 

“That, precisely.” -Tyrion took a sip and put his glass up for an imaginary toast.-

 

“Ah… I guess you already know the answer. How would you feel if you were told that you couldn’t follow the love of your life to the battlefield? Mind you, this isn’t a battlefield he’s going to but…”

 

“But it’s all the same. He’s walking into a trap. We are all aware of that. There’s a chance he doesn’t come back.” -Tyrion’s voice was stern as he took another sip of his drink. –

 

“But it’s all the same….” -She repeated, drinking some more wine. - “I understand the order and I agree with the plan Commander Targaryen gave me. However, for the love of the seven gods, I can’t bring myself to accept that this might be the last time I can see Jaime alive.”

 “I understand.” -The Hand raised his glass to her words, his face somber, his voice calm and quiet-

 

Tyrion stopped talking. He took a sip of his wine. He had debated whether he should be saying anything to his brother. From the moment he heard they were alive, to the moment he finally got to speak to him, the Hand of Queen Daenerys Targaryen went through a lot of emotions. He was certain that Jaime had died after the death of Cersei. How could his brother survive in a world without the love of his life? How could he find the necessary will to live with Cersei gone? He was certain to hear about Jaime’s funeral, once his remains would be found and yet when Kyra announced that her brother was alive and well and told him of the princess looking out for Jaime and finding him at Highgarden, his heart was filled with Hope and Warmth. He was euphoric, to say the very least, about his brother’s survival. He was overjoyed when he heard that Jaime was reinstated as a knight and was leading the Lannister’s army for their sister Kyra. Jaime was what he always had been, a knight, a warrior, a fighter. And the return of such spark came thanks to the very woman before him.

 

Yet, Joy was replaced with worries as soon as he realized that she was in love with his brother, and it was reciprocated. When Cersei was alive, he warned Bäahal about the heartbreak she would suffer from it. He warned her about loving Jaime because his brother would use her if he saw fit and would break her heart because his heart belonged to Cersei and her only. So, when Jaime confirmed that he was in love with the princess, that proved to be a slap in the face of the Hand. What was going on? Those feelings were genuine, and the way Jaime loved Bäahal was purer and far more positive than the way he was in love with Cersei. But Jaime had barely escaped death and loving Bäahal was akin to a death sentence. Tyrion did try to break the pair up. He tried to reason with his brother, ask him to ignore those emotions, and fall in love with someone else. He tried to talk Bäahal out of loving his brother but their answers were worst than he could have imagined. Bäahal was ready to love Jaime, even if that meant she couldn’t be with him in the end. She was willing to spend her life alone, to ensure that he survived.  Jaime agreed to do the same. They wouldn’t go against the queen’s desire, but they wouldn’t be happy either, and that…. That bothered the Hand.

 

“Do you, lord Tyrion?" -She stopped talking just so her purple hues could stare at the Hand. Bäahal didn't wait long before she resumed talking. " We really only had such a short time together. From the moment he realized I was genuinely in love with him to the moment I came here… Nothing but a week at sea. Nothing but a week at sea.” She emptied her glass of wine and put the glass on the table. She wrapped her arms around her chest and gently stroked them to self-soothe.

 

“I understand, trust me, Princess. I understand the pain that comes with loving someone and losing that person shortly after. We just had a taste, a single taste, and just when we were ready to have more of it, it escapes us." -He paused and took another sip of his drink.- " I was happy too, once. I was happy with Shae who loved me and made me feel like a man. She made me feel like nobody ever will and I lost her. I killed her.” He whispered, fixing them another glass of wine. “ And I have to live with her betrayal and her death by my hands, every single day. So, I know, princess… I know what’s at stake here. I also know how you feel,  Jaime but he is my brother and I love him. “

 

“I love him too… I’m sorry Lord Tyrion for being aggressive. It’s just driving me crazy. We can’t see each other, we cant spend the night together.…. I can’t even fathom the idea of him not coming back.” -Her voice broke at her words and she took a deep breath. She would have cried if she could, but she had cried all of her tears already. So it just burned, as if someone was rubbing salt on them.-

 

“You don’t have to apologize.” -Tyrion shook his head. She shook harder-

 

“I /do/. I’m acting as if what’s happening to me is the worst thing to be. Yet, Dany had to smother her first husband. She had to lose her child too. /You: had to kill the love of your life. You suffered and you understand what I’m going through and yet /I/ am aggressive.” -She chewed at her bottom lip, feeling anguish overwhelm her heart-

 

“You are afraid that’s all.” -He interrupted her as she turned to face him, her face torn apart with grief and sorrow- “You are afraid of losing Jaime. I heard you very well. I know you are prepared to love him from a distance if your sister doesn’t come around.”

 

“You must think I am stupid…” -She said, walking back to the table and grabbing her glass of wine.-

 

“Not stupid… Genuine. Powerful. Inspiring. You truly love Jaime and he is lucky to have someone like you at his corner. You saved him. You brought my brother back and you… you’re still willing to go above and beyond for him, even now.” He said, raising his glass and taking another sip. "This is beautiful, princess, and very precious." 

"Thank you. Do you think you could arrange for us to meet one last time? I need to say goodbye to him before he leaves."

"Before he leaves. I will ensure my brother stops by your private quarters for proper goodbyes. it wouldn't be more than 5 minutes, however."

"5 minutes would do....5 minutes rather than nothing." -She said, giving him a half-smile.- "I didn't expect you'd come to visit me, Lord Tyrion. Truly, this has been... new."

"We buried the hatchet, princess. You are a friend now. It would be dishonest if I told you that I was worried about you before. I was worried about your sister. I wanted her to have as few worries as possible, therefore you needed to be alright. I checked on you with this motivation at the back of my head. Things changed!" -He grabbed his glass and raised it. "/I/ changed. I started to realize that you had more strength than I anticipated and you were perhaps, the better person between us." -He smiled and took a sip.- "You taught me that there could still be hope in this world. You humbled me, princess. your devotion, loyalty, and caring heart truly inspired me."

"You mean, you warmed up to me?" -She teased him before she took another sip of wine- "I guess this is a good thing." -A faint smile crept on her lips and she raised her glass as well before she took a deep breath and looked at her windows. "But did you come tonight to comfort me, or to find a companion to share your anguish?"

"Maybe both, princess. " Tyrion leaned into his chair and lowered his head. he had made up his mind about Jaime's venture into the depths of treachery. His brother had always navigated in troubled waters and always made it alive. this time could be the last but he chose to believe he would succeed as he always did. "Maybe, for once, I just wanted to truly bring you comfort for your own sake."

"Maybe..." -She sighed and moistened her lips. "Do you have any regrets, Lord Tyrion? if you were to look back at your life, what did you wish to do differently?"

"This, my dear, is a tricky question. I guess I regret not having the fortitude I have today. But I had to crawl before I learned how to walk and I wouldn't change a thing. I simply wish that I could not believe half of what was said to me." -His tone was bitter-

It was filled with anguish as he remembered when he believed he was his mother's murderer. Deep down, despite his bravado and self-assured demeanor, Tyrion wished some of the cuts were not deep. he wished he could let them speak and spit at him without taking it personally. they were so tall, seemed like giants while in fact, they were even smaller than Tyrion ever was. that was a lesson he had to learn the hard way. 

"Ah...That's fair. I guess my regret would seem very weak compared to yours. I had a tough life, Lord Tyrion, I had seen and experienced the worst mankind could offer. Yet life keeps on giving and Beauty can be found when you look a little harder." -She smiled faintly- "I regret...that it took me so long to speak truly about my feelings for Lord Jaime. I...can't change what happened, and I appreciate and savor every second with him... but still. If he dies tomorrow, we would only have had but a week at sea...." -She emptied her glass and rubbed her temple. 

"It's not weak to wish for more time with the person you love. it's not weak. you're not weak, princess."

"Let's toast to it then. let's toast to Strength. You inspired me to keep moving forward. you, my sister's hand. you, the Lannister who was unloved. You..the wisdom made flesh and bones. you suffered your lot in life but you're still here. I'm drinking to that. to your strength."

"To our strength!"

And they raised their glasses and drank. Tyrion chose to move the topic of the conversation towards easier topics just so he could watch her laugh and giggle as alcohol had turned her brain inside out. He came to see her laugh tonight, for he couldn't bear to watch her cry or hold back her tears because she was upset. he wanted to hear her laugh and see her smile and after a while, she ended up falling asleep on her bed, prompting the man to pull her duvet over her body and leave her bedroom so she could rest. it was a night well spent, but what now?