"I look at him from afar, dressed in his beautiful armor with a serious face. They discuss serious matters, I think the plan he and Jon would lay out in order to fish the traitor among the nobles who planned the siege. I look at him, his face stern and worried because he knows that if I was right, their visit might end up in a battle. I am fully aware that he could disappear, killed in the line of duty, so I keep an eye on him. I make sure to remember every line, every crease, every smile he could have on his face... I try to keep his memory alive, his image is burned in my brain.
I look at him from afar, since I am not allowed to come closer when they are having a military conversation. I can't blame them, the last time they tried to do it in my presence, I became hysterical. I couldn't bear the thought of not coming with them and I didn't want to take the risk of losing Jaime. Jon decided to cast me out, and only allow me to sit at the other end of the war room, where I wouldn't be able to decipher their conversations and would only be able to see their faces. I worry. I worry about him but at the same time, I am confident he wouldn't die.
Fate wouldn't have him dead, would it? He is my beloved. My soulmate and the man I want to marry. Fate couldn't have him dead, not when it kept putting us together. I believe the seven gods, old and new, wouldn't punish us more than they already have. we paid our dues. We lost loved ones. We almost died several times. Why couldn't we have a moment of joy, for once?"
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