The day of the Jackal - Part 4

"I've been looking into Dy- into /that man/ yesterday, and I have been successful, somewhat." The Jackal told her as he leaned into his chair and crossed his legs. She nodded and looked down at her coffee cup-

She grabbed her coffee cup and sipped while her hazel eyes stared at him.  She ran her hand through her coily hair and grabbed a fistful of it.  Seeing the man who ruined her life renewed her desire for revenge, and after the good night's sleep she had, Diane was ready to focus on finding that man and killing him. She realized that her agitated sleep might have happened because of suppressed memories. For two years she stopped thinking about that man and what he did to her. For two years, it felt as if she had given up revenge altogether for something better.  

"Shoot!"

"He was always in the background during important meetings of the Afrikaner Weerstandsbeweging. He suddenly stopped appearing in pictures a year ago, and he had never been back there. The leader of the party was not the target because he's still alive and still in power. So, if he wasn't cozying up with that man to kill him, maybe he was hired by him."

"I haven't searched for potential deaths connected to that man. Maybe, if we look into it, the leader of that party hired /that man/ to execute his enemies. I know that some journalists were onto him. Rumours had it that one of them had a smoking gun about that leader, but I haven't followed that lead."

"Would that man take on odd jobs like this? Taking care of a journalist? I thought he was more into bigger missions."

"As long as he can kill, he doesn't care about what type of job it is." -She leaned into her chair and snarled a little.- "I really need to look at odd deaths in South Africa. What bothers me is his presence here. He's usually seen in Africa or South-Asia and rarely in Europe because he knows police might connect the dots more easily and they have more resources."

"MMmhhh..."

The Jackal nodded and ran his hand over his face. He held his chin for a minute, focusing on the last words she had said to him. So /that man/ was a mercenary who enjoyed his job. It wasn't just a means for him to earn money. He was in it for the thrill of killing people. He enjoyed taking lives, and if anything, what he did to Diane was the perfect example of a man who got off of inflicting pain onto others. Toppling governments, crushing rebellions, or killing a single dissident was all the same for him, so how did she know it was his work? How could she tell that a carnage that happened was because of him? He had to know. 

"I have a question, Diane. You said that you could recognize his work from anywhere. How exactly do you do it? What makes you tick when you look at a crime scene that indicates it's his work?"

"What he did to me.... The slashed back with his machete, the two gunshot wounds... It's his signature.  There is always one victim with these wounds... Always.  And when it comes to multiple victims...He needs to make them watch the horrors he's doing to others. You can tell by the way the bodies are placed. He doesn't move them after they're killed. It's always at least one victim who is made to watch and one victim, the one he handpicked, to torture like he did to me."

"He's a sexual sadist... He always signs his crime scenes for all to see. I understand."  -Diane nodded and put both hands on the table. She tapped her fingers against the wooden table and lifted her eye to stare into his blue eyes-  "Diane. I thought about something last night while working on that case. I think you're too traumatized by our target to be able to kill him. You've tried, god knows how many times you've tried to kill him, but every time you do, you freeze on the spot."

"No shit Sherlock!" -She retorted and chewed at her bottom lip- " I'm sorry. I'm lashing out at you like that. It hurts my pride to be unable to kill him. It hurts me deep into my core to be unable to finish that job." She admitted before leaning back into her chair.- "I have to know why you want to help me. It doesn't look like you at all, Jackal."

"Diane..."

"Answer me! Why do you care that much?" -She had to ask, and since this situation forced her to reveal so much about herself, she thought that it was only fair for her to know what truly motivated him.-

"Because I want to."

"It's not enough!" -She hit the table with the palm of her hand-

"Because I like the challenge!" -He replied in a monotonous tone-

"It's not enough!" -She raised her voice and hit the table harder this time-

"Because I want to take him off the streets!" -Bullshit! He didn't believe himself, but he felt cornered-

"It's /not/ enough! Stop giving me bullshit reasons!! Why. Do. You. Care???" -She yelled. both hands hit the table and made a very loud noise that bothered him enough to reply loudly-

"It's for you!" -She blinked. He blinked. He may as well have said he was in love with her, which he didn't do. Not now.- "It makes me sick to think that the man who hurt you can still freely walk the Earth. It makes me sick to see that you're so deeply hurt, and he lives as if it didn't matter! It makes me angry! It makes me vengeful! I cannot find peace as long as he breathes the same air as you.  It makes me sick because it happened to /you/." He took a deep breath, his alabaster skin now red from the pent-up anger that exploded right before her. Diane was speechless....confused even because she couldn't make sense of what he was saying to her. -

It was simple, come to think of it. The Jackal cared about her, and the thought of someone hurting the person he cared about was enough to send him spiraling into an unbridled rage. He wanted to be the one to avenge her, the one to do what she clearly couldn't do herself. He wanted to put /that man/ down like a rabid dog for her. Alex gained nothing from this kill because he offered to help and would never accept her money. Alex had no reputation to build because he already was a big name in the business, and the two of them were already intimate, so it wouldn't be sex. No... He genuinely cared for her, and because he did, he wanted to take away the pain she felt that was embodied by that man.  She felt tears pool in her eyes, and she decided to stand up and close the distance between the two of them. 

"Alexander..." -She whispered his name, her hand slowly cupped his cheeks, and she sat on his lap. He ensnared his arms around her frame and leaned his head against her ample and soft chest- "Thank you." She pressed her plump lips to the top of his head and wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  He cared about her in ways nobody ever did, and the realization that, perhaps, that man was in love with her like she was in love with him hit her like a truck. He was doing this for love. not vanity. not greed... but Love.- "Thank you." She whispered again,  feeling comfortable in his arms. 

Alex enjoyed her body against his and couldn't fight the stir in his loins as she sat on his lap. She could feel him twitch against her, and that elicited a soft moan from her. She wanted his touch and reacted to it without thinking. Her lips peppered his skin with kisses, first his left cheek, then his left ear, then she kissed her way to his forehead while her fingers lost themselves in the luscious reddish-brown locks of his. The Jackal groaned and pulled his head back so he could have a good look at Ghost's face. He wanted more, but he also knew she didn't eat or sleep well, and that took precedence over his own desire. There would always be time for the two of them to have sex, but this morning wasn't the right moment for that. He softened his gaze and sighed deeply to signal that he was going to interrupt the beginning of a hot morning, much to her dismay. Before she could say anything, Diane heard her belly noises. She gently patted Alex's chest and chuckled. 

"No need to tell me anything. I have to eat, shower, and rest today. I'll do my part and research any strange murders here, as well as follow the trail he left in South Africa. I know you have a job in Italy, so don't worry. I'll do my part, and I'll get myself together. You do your job, and when you're back, we'll take it right where we left."

"Is it a promise?" He asked, bemused. She shook her head.-

"No. It's a spoiler. Now go grab your things; I'll handle breakfast." He chuckled and waited for her to get off of him to stand up. - 

She turned around to return to her seat, but he grabbed her arm and pulled her back towards him. Diane's hazel eyes grew wide open, and she bit her bottom lip. Alex gently cupped her cheek and stroked it with his thumb. He then pressed his lips to hers in a good, hard kiss. She moaned into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his waist. The kiss sent a shiver down her spine, and she closed her eyes. 

-----

"What about your wife and Son? Did you find them?" -She asked while running her finger over his chest. Her lips pressed against his nipple- 

"I did." -He closed his eyes and ran his hand through her braids. He held her scalp and started to massage it. "She's no longer my wife, Enora."

"What... happened?" She furrowed her brows. "Did you...?"

"No! No! Not like that. I found Nuria and Carlito and observed them for a month just to know what her new life was like. She had a new man who had welcomed Carlito and loved him like his own son. I saw my wife smile, even laugh. She was happy. My son was taken care of and happy, I didn't feel like... interrupting."

"You? Giving up on Nuria without a fight? I don't believe you. You talked to her, didn't you?" -He clenched his jaw and stroked her cheek with his thumb- 

"I... did. I talked to her. After a while, I couldn't bring myself not to. I needed to hear her say those words."

"Which words?" - She whispered in his ear-

"That she didn't need me anymore. That she had moved on. That she would protect our son and provide him with everything he needed without me. I put their lives in danger with my lies, and I couldn't.... I can't afford to have the life I dreamed of. Not with her. Not with our son."

"Did she tell you?"

"She told me she divorced the man she married and after so long, she realized that she had married a ghost. She loved Charles but hated the Jackal. She loved Charles but realized that she was nothing but a pawn, a cover, or even worse, a lie I told myself. Nuria was harsh but right. I couldn't... make her endure another life with me. She promised she wouldn't say anything because it would compromise their lives, but to her, Charles was dead. I didn't fight her. I couldn't... I couldn't fight her because she was right. I never was Charles Calthrop. I hoped, once, that I could fully embody him one day, but it was a dream out of reach for me."

"So you parted ways.... peacefully?" -Diane curbed a brow, and he nodded-

"I realized that I broke her trust in me, and you don't ever recover from breaking the trust of someone you love.  If they had stayed with me, I know they would have been unhappy. Caring for them would mean that I should make sure they were happy. And they were happy without me. As bad as it hurt me, it was the truth. I set them free, and I disappeared."

"Did you sign those papers?"

"What do you think? I signed them as soon as I got them, and I sent them back to Nuria so she could finalise the divorce. As of today, I am a divorcee." -He bitterly chuckled-

 Ghost leaned her cheek against his chest. He was far more upset at the situation than he let on. Could she blame him? He had genuinely loved Nuria and their son, and losing them hit harder than he expected. Of course, it would hit hard. Deep down, however, she felt reassured to know that he was a single man with no ties that could leave her and break her heart. Selfish? Yes, she was selfish. At this moment in their relationship, Ghost didn't want the Jackal to leave her. She enjoyed his company, far more than she cared to admit. She wanted to spend more time by his side, and she knew that with a family waiting for him, his attention would never fully be on her.  She bit her bottom lip and leaned into his chest a little harder. Why did she feel this relief over this information? She didn't want him to see her face, so she kept it close to his chest. 

"Then you are free to break my heart anyway you please." -She said in a teasing tone.-

"As if I intended to do such a thing. Enora... I am content with the life we're leading right now."

"You can't blame a girl for trying to prepare herself, Charles." -She pressed a kiss to his chest and closed her eyes- "I'll keep you to your word then. to leave Nuria and Carlito alone so they could have a chance at being happy. I'll keep you to your word."

"Why would you do that?"

"Because I don't want you to suffer. Going back would hurt you more than anything, and more importantly, it would hurt them more than anything. I'm looking after you, here."

"How generous of you..." He said, giving her a light kiss on top of her head. "I appreciate it."

And he genuinely did. He could tell she was sincere and wanted to protect him from potential heartbreak. Ultimately, she was right about something: his life with Nuria and Carlito was over. He knew best than to hold onto an old dream. Here, in her arms, Alexander Duggan felt comfortable and safe and it was all that mattered for him. 

-TBC-

GoT (regular): A snake getting closer -theo xBäahal-

GoT (regular): A snake getting closer -theo xBäahal-

Theodore Tyrell couldn't stop himself. He needed to see the princess again, especially after the dance number she did at Highgarden a couple of months ago. He managed to track her down this time at Winterfell. Arranging a trip to Winterfell wasn't difficult because he needed to visit the lord of Winterfell. Making sure that he would be there at the same time as the princess was another challenge, but he managed to get it. He found her at the balcony of the ballroom, and upon laying his eyes on her, the heir of the House Tyrell swallowed a lump. The princess was mesmerizing! Her silver hair was cascading down her back and flattered her calves. 

She looked as if she were crowned with silver, which caught his attention. She heard his footsteps and turned on her heels to face and greet him properly. She was wearing a beautiful black cotton dress with a red dragon stitched on her chest and long black gloves to protect her from the biting cold.  Her hair had two long braids that kept her wild silver locks from bothering her face.  He looked at her delicate features and lovely soft and plump lips, and for a brief moment, Theo's knees almost buckled. She was impossibly beautiful, so much so that he believed she was not real.  Bäahal tilted her head to the side, her eyes narrowing a little bit because she was trying to remember when she saw that man. After all, he felt familiar.

"Greetings, lord Tyrell. I have been informed of your visit and wanted to greet you properly."

"Greetings, your grace." He respectfully bowed to her and gently crossed the distance between them. He grabbed her gloved right hand and pressed his lips to its back before he released it. "I am thrilled to meet you again. I never had the chance to tell you how delightful your dance was. I understand that you don't always perform in public, but it was an honor to watch you dance that night."

"Oh, you enjoyed the dance? I am very glad that you did! It was my way of thanking the host and rekindling my love for dancing. Thank you, my kind lord, for your encouraging words." She gently nodded and put her hands back on the balcony.

"I couldn't get my eyes off of you, your grace. I can't seem to find the right words to describe how beautiful it was. Your grace, I hope you will dance again for us." -He smiled at her- "I have to say.... Since that day, I have wanted to see you again. I didn't think it would be possible, yet here we are."

"You're flattering me, Lord Tyrell. I am but an ambassador for the queen, and because of this, I am always on the road. I would have met you again, eventually."

"But I'd rather have you here where there would be no one to interrupt us." -He let it slip that he wanted more than just pleasantries and superficial connection. It was not as subtle as he wished to be, but he was hopeful the princess would get his drift.-

"......" -She swallowed a lump and pinched her lips together for a moment- "Is there something you want to say to me, Lord Tyrell? I am not sure I understand what you meant by 'interrupt us.' " -She decided to play coy, which made the young man smirk and chuckle. Alright, she would be harder to get, which he had to expect from the princess of the Seven Kingdoms, after all.-

" I simply wish to get to know you better. I hope that the few days spent here would allow us to become familiar with each other." -He wanted to slip his arm around her shoulders and push her against his chest, but he knew better than to act so defiantly.-

Instead, he chose to be a little bit mysterious so she would be interested in him.  Bäahal, unlike Theodore, did not catch his intention. Unfortunately, her experience with men was severely limited to those who didn't try to hide their intentions to her. She knew when a man desired her because they had lust in their eyes and acted in such a way that she couldn't mistake their desire with anything else. She knew when a man wanted to possess her but couldn't see when he was flirting or genuinely in love with her. That explained why she interpreted Jaime's attempt to protect her from loving him as full rejection.  That explained why it took Jaime to spit it out clearly for her to realize that he was in love with her just like she was in love with him. If it wasn't spelled clearly, she couldn't see it. She didn't have the tools to notice when someone wanted a relationship with her. 

"Then, we will take the opportunity of these couple days together to get to know each other better. I am sure you have extraordinary stories to tell. So we would discuss at dinner with our host and maybe during the day if we're both off-duty. It was pleasant seeing you again, but I think I would retire to my quarters until dinner. I wish you well." -And she left-

Theodore was far more complex than others gave him credit for. There was desire for Bäahal, a strong lust that held him in a chokehold from the moment he laid his eyes on her. There was also a genuine affection for the princess, based on what he heard about her -her bravery at the siege, her straight-forwardness, and that child-like innocence that made her appreciate the little things in life- and on what he saw of her -her uncanny beauty that blinded him when he first laid eyes on her, the way she laughed, the way she danced and that warm gaze of hers whenever she looked at chidlren-. He wanted her. Carnally, biblically, and fully. He wanted her!  He heard rumours of her being betrothed to the filthy Kingslayer Jaime Lannister. It baffled him that she would choose to be with that man, regardless of how much hated he was in the Seven Kingdoms. He had to see for himself why someone like her would pick someone like him. He had to see if there was a way to sway her in his favor and to show the princess that there were more deserving men out there. He had to. 

 

Doya: Saving lives

 Oya ran her hand through her curly hair and leaned into her chair.  The current case they were working on together with Dean was far more complex than she first thought it would be.  She stroked her chin and furrowed her brows.  It always was easy when the monsters were not humans. It was easier to fight them and easier to put them down. What was more difficult was when humans were involved in the evil they fought. Oya and Dean always tried to reason with them -unless these bastards willingly killed humans, kids, and babies-. They would always try to convince them to stop whatever incantations and rituals they wanted to achieve. More often than not, Dean and Oya managed to make these humans stop whatever shit they were trying to do but a good chunk of them were hardcore believers in Evil. They were rotten inside, and the only way to protect lives was to treat them like they treated most of the monsters they fought. They had to kill humans. Oya hated it, not because she did the right thing and helped rid the world of scums. 

She hated it because it reminded her that humans could sometimes be worse than monsters. Humans knew better than to hurt others, and yet, some of them chose to do it. In this case, she honestly believed that the humans in there were evil. They were in a cult and wanted to sacrifice human lives to summon a lord of Hell to Earth. She knew they wouldn't be reasoned with, and the only way to deal with them would be to kill them. She dropped her head against her arms and sighed deeply.  She hated to take lives, but it sure looked like she would have no other choice but to do it if she wanted to save lives.  The hunter looked at her husband and bit at her bottom lip. Her hazel eyes stared at Dean, who knew what was troubling her. He had watched Oya in these circumstances. He knew that she was emotionally torn between her duties and her desire to protect human lives. He sat next to her and wrapped his arm around her shoulders. This case would be dealt with like all the other cases they worked on. What mattered was that they saved lives, and if they had to take down some humans while doing so, then they were prepared for it.  Oya made a little bit of noise and leaned into his touch, feeling comforted by his presence. They would focus on saving lives. She would focus on saving lives. 

COPG: Life and Death of Ishtar: he was ready to put an end to it.

COPG:  Life and Death of Ishtar: he was ready to put an end to it. 

Ishtar didn't wait for Ayasha to be ready and instantly teleported to the location she gave him.  He needed to see for himself the truth of her words. As soon as he arrived, he noticed how unusual the place looked. How come this place was such a wreck in the middle of tall buildings? It was completely taken over by flowers, vines, and other vegetation that made it look like a wild garden.  The naked eye could be fooled and would think that it was a genuine natural event, but he knew better. He could see the essence of his sister all over the place. He could literally see it on the floor mixed with the cum of that disgusting beast that was the Sin. He could see her godly essence at every corner of the former room, at the feet of every plant that grew from the blood of humans. He could see her influence and her essence lingering in this garden as well as the thoughts and emotions of the mortals who died within those walls.  They had sex there.  He could smell her. He could feel it in his bones, what had transpired in this room. It was as if the scene was playing in his very eyes. -courtesy of his beloved sister's essence-. 

He felt the jaws of jealousy seize his heart and squeeze it hard as he looked over the whole scenerie. He could see his sister, laid on the floor, legs open for all to see. He could see it now, the cock of the Sin sliding in and out of his beloved sister. He could hear her screams, the choked moans as she would beg for more. He could feel how depraved that event was despite being unable to see what had exactly unfolded. All he could feel were the desires from the mortals slain here. He could feel their desperation for the goddess, their lust mixed with anger and bloodlust. He could feel them lose their minds and kill each other in the name of Elpis. It wasn't just her mere presence there that caused such a ruckus. No. She actively influenced them to give everything to her as tributes. They worshipped her, plain and simple, and she turned their lives upside down. If anything, life booming in this secluded place, turning the building into pieces, was a testament of her power.  Elpis had nothing to do with the meek goddess they convinced her to be. She was reclaiming her power, and that was easy to see. 

Ayasha finally arrived, her blonde vessel dropped in nothing but a white and gold toga. She noticed the scenery and quickly came to the same conclusion as Ishtar. It was Elpis' doing. This place reeked of her essence, and the display of power was obscene but willful. Her dear sister wanted them to find it and to know that she was able to roam the Earth without being noticed by Ayasha's spies. It also was a way for her to showcase her power and influence on mortals. She had tapped into the destructive side of Life, as those trees that grew from the pools of blood and entrails on the floor testified. She had made such a bold and flamboyant move that Ayasha understood the gravity of the situation. Elpis was in control. For the first time in a long time, she was the one calling the shot, and worse than anything, she had vanished from their eyes and could strike at any moment. Ayasha swallowed a lump. 

"Brother-mine. If anything, this is Elpis' declaration of war."

"Do you think I don't see it? She's taunting us with her display of power!" -He roared. His voice boomed in this makeshift garden. Ayasha swallowed a lump and bit her bottom lip-

"Ishtar... She is more powerful now than she's ever been. She grew trees and vines and flowers from inside a building. She tore this place into a million pieces and turned it into a garden. You can see it, can't you? Her influence? Humans worshipped her to the point of killing each other and themselves in doing so. They gave her everything, from their essence to their lives, and she took every last bit of it.  I think we do not need more evidence than the ones we already have. She is coming for us and we should be ready for it. She knows her way around the Prima Donna so..."

"Ayasha, I can feel fear squeeze your throat." -She dropped her head, blonde locks fell on her chest-

"I am afraid, brother-mine. I can admit it. I am afraid she would come and snuff us out of existence like she did the Sumerian Pantheon. I do want to live. So please... Please... I need to know that we're going to win this war." -Ishtar's face softened as he heard his sister's pleas. She must have been genuinely desperate for her to admit how scared she was. He realized that at this moment, he was the only one who could bring her some sort of comfort-

"I promise you that." 

He pulled her into a tight hug because he thought that she needed to be held in his powerful arms. Deep down, however, He was extremely angry. Jealousy had eaten him alive, and all he wanted was to find the Sin and kill him for good. He couldn't bare the thought of that abomination fucking his sister. He couldn't bare the thought of her debasing herself with Pride in front of an audience. He had to put an end to it and he was willing to rush things over. 

Klasma: jealousy

Lucius finally found the Hybrid and his witch. He decided to watch them from afar as he wasn't ready for a direct confrontation just yet. It irritated him to watch her smile as if she had no care in the world. She was smiling and laughing with that abomination. She held his hand and gave him a warm smile, far warmer than she ever gave the werewolf. He noticed her arousal in the way she was giving small pants and sighs. He noticed the way her cheeks turned darker as she blushed, and he noticed the way her chest heaved up and down at a fast pace.  It made him feel a pang in his heart as jealousy was taking over. It should have been him. She should have felt this way for him, not for Klaus Mikaelson! Who did he think he was? Just because he was an Original and the first Hybrid didn't give him the right to look down on others. Lucius had been a general; he had marked his times. What had Klaus done if not ruin the world for the rest of them? Klaus was nothing but blood, sweat, and tears. He was nothing but a fraud, and the sight of him was killing him. Lucius' blue eyes wandered from her face to her cleavage, and he noticed how elegant yet tantalizing she looked. 

His eyes couldn't tear off of her curves or the soft skin of her neck. He wanted to bite it. He wanted to mark her and make sure that Klaus knew she was Lucius's and no one else's. It was irritating him to watch as she was practically begging Klaus to fuck her that night. Her eyes were almost glowing. She kept biting her bottom lip and touching her neck as if she wanted to invite him to bite her and taste her blood.  Her natural scent was being overtaken by the scent of her arousal, and it was taking his whole attention not to give into his own arousal. The werewolf was on edge. His breathing was labored. He was holding onto his beer, and his right leg was bouncing against the table. He wanted to turn and pounce on her. He would have if Klaus was not here. He would have pushed her against a wall and would have tried to have his way with her. Why didn't he do it when she was still in his care?  Perhaps he cared too much about her comfort to indulge his own desires, or perhaps he hoped she would give in to him without him making efforts to get it. Either way, he didn't do anything, and now she had left him and belonged to another. Insulting! 

He couldn't bear the sight before him. He couldn't bear watching Klaus touching /his/ witch. He couldn't bear the sight of her nearly in heat without being the one to quench her thirst. He couldn't! He wanted to be the one to push everything on that table off of it so he could bend her over the table and slide his cock inside her tight little cunt. He wanted to growl in her ear, obscenities that would come to him naturally. How many times did he accidentally hear her jerk off in her room? How many times did he hear her wet fingers slip in and out of her wet cunt at night? He wanted to be the one touching her. He needed to be the one to make her moan and squirm. He knew she tasted good, but he wanted to taste it himself. He was plagued with daydreams and fantasies of the witch bouncing on his thick cock, scratched by his claws, bruised because he wouldn't go easy on her, her mind completely wrecked because of the pleasure he would give her. He wanted to see her in her full glory. He needed to, but the reality of things painted a different picture. He lost her because he wanted to use her as a weapon and made it clear to her rather than being subtle about it. He lost her because he didn't treat her correctly. 

He lost her, but he needed to make things right. 

He needed to take her back, and it would start by getting rid of Klaus Mikaelson. 

Now, the only thing missing was a plan to make it happen. 

TB: It's a cruel world, Sara -Sage x Sara-

"What's your goal, Sara?" -Sage's voice pierced the silence nicely settled in the laundromat.- 

It startled Sara, who gasped and turned around to face the person talking to her. It was a familiar face, despite never having met in person. Sara was certain she had already seen her somewhere, maybe on TV. As her mind tried to figure out the identity of the person talking to her, her eyes never left her.  The woman before her was wearing a long grey T-shirt and a pair of khaki cargo pants. She seemed innocuous, but something sinister was pervading the air. Sara knew by then that people were always more than they looked. She addressed her by name and stood there alone, confident as if she knew something she shouldn't. As if she had figured Sara out. Being careful, the singer decided to play dumb at first. 

"I'm sorry, have we met before? I don't remember you." She plastered a fake smile on her lips and decided to treat her like a fan of Unnamed Girl who had found where the megastar lived-

"We've never met; that's why.  I think I haven't been clear enough before, so let me rephrase my question. What's your goal with Homelander, Unnamed Girl?"

Sara froze. How did she know her secret identity? Who was this woman? Her eyes grew wide, and she took a couple of steps back, hitting the washing machine with her back. The woman who was wearing dreadlocks had a pair of sunglasses on and seemed so nonchalant about everything that crossed the distance between the two of them, making Sara feel cornered. She could have left right now, but if she exposed her powers, it would confirm to the woman that she was Unnamed Girl, and that was something Sara didn't want. 

"I am not Unnamed G--"

"Stop playing with me. I know that she's your alter ego, Sara. I also know that you're dating Homelander. Did you really think that it would go unnoticed by me? I get it; you started seeing each other before I was recruited. I get it. you wanted your relationship to be secret so you wouldn't have to deal with Ashley and her schemes or the press and their bullshit. I get it. But now? I need to know exactly what that relationship you have is about."

Sara panicked. She couldn't help but frantically start to tuck her hair behind her ears.  She didn't know how to get herself out of that situation because she felt exposed. Even if that woman was bluffing, Sara's reaction betrayed the truth. She couldn't keep her hands off of her hair and couldn't pretend that this woman before her was talking nonsense. What did she want? Sara was starting to wonder if she wanted money or maybe power over her. Should she kill her? The laundromat was empty right now, but it only was a matter of time before someone came back in. It was too risky to try anything and she couldn't fucking focus on her powers to use them correctly. Instead, she was frozen on the spot and unable to tear her eyes off of the woman. Where did she see her again? Her face was way too familiar for her to ignore.  Sara's eyes went from left to right and she looked up to her face. Sage! She was Sister Sage! She was the most intelligent person in the whole world, and lying to her was fruitless. 

"I remember where I saw your face. You're Sister Sage!"

"Sage! Just..... Sage." She dryly said.

"Sage! I knew it!" She ran her hand through her hair and chewed at her bottom lip.- "Why are you here?"

"I am the one who asked you a question first! " she pointed out and crossed her arms above her chest. "So be a good girl, Sara, and answer me!" 

"Why do you care?"-Sara defiantly asked, her black eyes slowly turning purple. Sage didn't budge. She expected Sara to try and show some bite, so it made her grin-

"I like to know things, especially about Homelander. I'd also want to know your end goal with him."

"My end goal?" -Sara scoffed and lifted a brow.- "My end goal? Not only do you come here, uninvited, but you start to spout my secret identity out loud because you fucking want to show off that you have a big brain? And you dare accuse me of having an end goal with the man I'm dating?? Sis, I'm sorry but I'm not giving you a pass because you're his right-hand man or whatever bullshit you're doing over there!" She straightened up, furious by the implication that she was not genuine with Homelander. She was, and she refused to be treated like a thief or a gold digger. Sage curbed a brow and then started to laugh-

"Am I supposed to be scared right now?" -Sara wasn't terrifying, at least not with the current display of emotions. If anything, it indicated that she had some spunk and an ego sufficiently big for her to react the way she did. Good! Sage could work with that.-

"Bitch, cut the crap! You think that I'm not a threat, that I'm a coward who would rather leave than fight, and in most cases, you'd be right! I don't like to get involved in bullshit and even less to put my life in danger. But here's where you're wrong about me! I don't play when it comes to kids, to Ryan, and to Homelander!" Her eyes flashed a bright purple light, and she pointed to the washing machines that started to shake. She was ready to use her powers against Sage if that could put that threat down. Sage didn't flinch, but she made mental notes about the whole situation-" You want to know what's the deal with Homelander and me? He's the man I love. He's the man I want to live with until one of us or both of us die. He's the man I will protect at /any/ cost! So let me make myself perfectly clear! You're not going to threaten me and get away with it! You're not going to threaten him with my life, and you're certainly not going to use me for whatever petty gain of yours!" 

Sara's anger was palpable. The washing machine at the extreme right of her started to crumble into itself, crushed by the supe's telekinesis. Sage realized that she had struck a nerve rather than intimidated Sara, which made her reconsider her approach to the young woman. She put her hands up, in a clear sign of surrender, and shook her head. No. She didn't want to threaten Sara when she came there. She wanted to see how the woman would react under pressure, and she also wanted to know how serious this relationship with Homelander was. Sara answered both her questions with her reaction, and in a bid to calm the supe down, Sage tried to appear harmless to her. She was bothered a little bit because, despite her beauty, Sara was far from being an airhead. She clocked her act rather quickly, and that could prove to be bothersome in the future. Could it be that her time at the orphanage helped Sara see past the smoke? Her reflection would have to be paused to calm Sara first. 

" Calm down. I didn't want to offend you. It's just that Homelander has been really secretive regarding his relationship with you. He has not said a thing to the seven and has not said a thing to me. I figured it out by myself, and I wanted to know exactly what was going on between you two. I'm not Ashley, I don't care about PR, and I don't want to get in the way of your relationship. But you have to be prepared, Sara. Our enemies aren't a walk in the park. Butcher and the Boys, if they learn about your existence, they are going to use you as a pawn. They'll turn you into a bargaining chip for Homelander."

"Do you think I don't know that? Even without Homelander, I already had my fair share of enemies. Some I even dated. I'm not so blind or naive to think that the most powerful man in the world doesn't have enemies who would want him dead. I know, Sage. I know about the boys, and I know that I have a target on my back because I love Homelander. I even started training more seriously just in case."

"Impressive.... But that's not enough. It's a cruel world, Sara, and if you aren't careful, you'll be swallowed whole." -She sounded almost sympathetic, but Sara felt nauseous upon hearing the woman talk. Nothing she said was genuine. Nothing she said was meant with actual care for her. She did perceive some condescension and that pissed her off-

"Oh! Here you go, lecturing me about the evil of the world as if I didn't know that already. Do you think I was born with a silver spoon in my fucking mouth? Do you think I don't know how cruel that world is already? Quit with he fake concern! I know you don't care! You come here and judge me because what?  Girl, I was given Compound V at 3 years old! I survived that shit! My powers manifested at 5! I relentlessly trained because my parents wanted me to become their cash cow. Did you think they loved me? Mom was too enamoured with money and dad with fame to give a shit about me. My family? They are a bunch of hypocritical religious nuts. They abused me and refused to take me in when my folks were killed by Vaught. I won't even give you the joy to know what happened to me from the moment I stepped into that orphanage up until today! But I have seen up close and personal how cruel this world can be, and I refuse to let it stop me from being happy!  So cut the fucking crap and tell me exactly why you're here."

The washing machine she crushed crumbled again, leaving nothing but a flat blob of metal on the floor. The electric surge made the lights flicker, and the other machines kept shaking. Sara wasn't joking anymore, and Sage realized that if she lost complete control of the situation, perhaps Sara would actually hurt her. So she took a deep breath and kept her hands up. 

"Touché! You're far clever than I gave you credit for, and I apologize for underestimating you. You're right. I wanted something when I came here. At first, I wanted you to stop seeing Homelander because I thought you were a liability to him. but after meeting you, I changed my mind and wanted to see if you were ready to face the ugliness lurking in the dark."

"And what do you think, Sage?" -Sara emphasized her name as if to tell her that she wasn't scared of her. Sage grinned and put her hands on her waist-

"I think you have some spunk. You are determined to protect Homealnder, and it was what I wanted to see. I do have to warn you though, Butcher has lost his freaking mind and if he gets his hands on you, you're as good as dead."

"I will give him hell then." -Sara's response was almost immediate. She then narrowed her gaze and pinched her lips together- "I am not convinced that you've been really truthful with me. It's fair; nobody ever bares their soul to anyone. I wouldn't blame you for wanting to protect yourself. However, Sage, if I see that you're using Homelander and you would not hesitate to throw him under the bus, I will make sure that you won't be able to use that brain of yours for the rest of your life. So be careful, sis.... Thread carefully." -Sara grabbed her bag of clean laundry and walked past Sister Sage.- "And one more thing. If there is a leak about my true identity, I would know it is you, and I will come for you. So you better keep your mouth shut!- She said before she left the laundromat in a hurry. 

Sage curbed a brow and shrugged. This whole exchange really went sideways, didn't it? She thought she had the upper hand and had managed to scare the singer, but it backfired on her. In truth, Sage was a bit flabbergasted at the reactions she got out of Sara Richardson, but she also learned new valuable information. Sara was genuinely in love with Homelander, given how far she was ready to go to protect him. She also was far more cunning than Sage gave her credit for, which meant that if she wanted to use her as a pawn, she had to change the way she went about it. She had to plan better. Sara was quite a traumatized person, which she could exploit for her benefit. After all, she lacked love and, given her career of choice and determination to keep her private life protected, it was clear that she didn't want to disappoint anyone. A people-pleaser? Much certainly! She had some bite, but Sage was the smartest person, and she knew exactly how she could use it to her advantage. It was a little challenge, which brought a smirk to Sage's face. 

-TBC-

Peaky Blinders: She couldn't be there for him.

Mary leaned against the dining room door. Her arms were crossed above her chest, and she held a glass of wine.  It had been weeks since she last saw Tommy Shelby, and she had no bloody idea of where he was or what he was doing. Polly told her that it was business related, and Mary took it at face value but somehow.... She knew something was wrong. He had been spending more time away from home, and when she managed to see him, he was having more and more trouble hiding the fact that he couldn't keep track of time. He simply couldn't. Was he sick? Was he overwhelmed? Mary had no way to know the answers to her questions, and it was starting to weigh on her. Most people would say it was because she felt lonely, and, truth be told, she did feel lonely at times.  However, her worries were more about Tom's whereabouts and if he was doing well or if he needed help. They survived several attacks on their family, and Mary was still worried that Tom found his match and lost the fight to this person. So yes, she was worried about him more than she felt alone. 

It was well into the night, so Charlie was sleeping already, but she still remembered his disappointed face when she told him that his father was not home for the night. He didn't put up a fight and simply shrugged his shoulders. "Daddy is never home. I guess we'll have to wait." She tried to comfort him, but no matter what she told this little boy, she could see his pain. He knew his father was working hard to provide for them, but he still wished he could see him more often. Tommy was starting to feel like a stranger, and Mary was horrified.  She had to have a conversation with Tom. She had to tell him to at least talk to his son and be in his life in one way or another instead of being a ghost.  They had talked about it, about Tom's desire to be different from his father. He always wanted to be there for his children, to do right by them, and to be present, but Life had a funny way of bringing reality down on you. The truth was, Tommy couldn't be present in the lives of those he cared about. He couldn't because of his enemies. His "business," as he called it, was dangerous and lethal. He had to be careful; he had to take the danger away from his child and woman, and to do that, he couldn't always be home.  That was one reason, but the other one was that Tom couldn't stay home. He was a black stallion, and he needed his freedom. He needed to wander otherwise, he would wither away. 

She shrugged and took a sip of her wine. Tommy had always needed to wander the Earth, and she understood his need. She refused to have him bound to their home with little freedom! Of course, she wouldn't want him to be miserable!  But Mary wanted Tommy to have a relationship with his son. She wanted him to have a family of his own, not just by title or blood but because he would spend time with them. She wanted him to be in pictures with his son. She wanted Charlie to have memories with Tom and to be able to revisit them. She wanted Tom to watch his son grow into a man and be present in his life the way his own father never was.  She needed to make sure that they had a life and that it wasn't just a fever dream. Maybe she resented being alone more and more as time went by. He loved her, and a part of her thought that maybe it was enough. He loved her... even if he was not there. He loved her, and she shouldn't be asking for more than what he gave her. 

After all, she was a widow... A young one, but still one. Maybe she shouldn't be dreaming about getting married and having children of her own. Maybe she should just focus on the children still alive.  Mary put her hand on her belly and bit back a sob. No! She had the right to want things. She had the right to imagine a different life for herself. She had the right to be worried about him and to want him to survive. Truth be told, she knew he could kill himself at any given point. She had seen him at his lowest... The only thing Mary truly wanted was to be there for him. She wanted to be the rock he could hold onto. She wanted to be a beacon of light so he could escape the darkness of his heart. She wanted to be there for him, but he was out of reach, and he couldn't do much, and that was making her drink. She couldn't be there for the man she loved. 

She couldn't. 

The Day of the Jackal part 3

When Diane woke up, she found Alex fully dressed in linen khaki pants and a blue cotton shirt with a plunging neck. He had taken a shower and was ready for the day, which made her question about her own situation. It took her a minute, but she realized that she had fallen asleep right there and couldn't help but sheepishly smile. Wasn't she supposed to help him with her research? He didn't seem upset when he turned around and set his icy blue gaze upon her. 

"Morning, sunshine."

"MMhhhh... I'm sorry I fell as--"

"Don't mention it. Yesterday was quite heavy on you. You needed that sleep. Today you're well-rested, so you're sharp again. You should tackle that mission with a clear mind and a belly full."

"I have worked under worse conditions, you know?" -She pointed out "But you're right, I needed to sleep it off. I'm determined to catch that bastard. I also acknowledge that there is no talking you out of helping me." -he smirked and nodded. She was right about it. He wouldn't be talked out of helping her ever again-

----

1 year ago, London, air B'n'B: 

"I want to see you, Enora.  All of you.- " The Jackal said, almost pleading with her-

"You won't like what you see, Charles..." she sternly claimed. "Nobody can stomach it, not even me."

"Try me!" -He said in a stern voice. 

The Jackal's tone startled  Ghost who blinked several times. Why did he insist on seeing her naked body in the light? She thought he would be satisfied with having sex in the dark but apparently, it wasn't enough for him, at least that was what she thought-

"Sit on the bed then. I'll stand up and turn on the light. I swear to God, Charles, if you ever make me feel like a monster, I'll kill you." -She warned.- 

He couldn't see her but could hear her voice tremble. He knew she was about to cry and he felt a pang in his heart. He hated the panic in her voice, the quickness with which she stood, and the fact that she was preparing herself to be rejected. Why would he reject her?  She was shaking from head to toe but resolved herself to remain pro-active. She swallowed a lump and turned on the light. He watched her, a side he was familiar with. Her thick legs came first, with a few scars on them. He noticed one on her knee, a deep cut caused by a sharp object. He noticed the other scars on her legs. Bullet wounds on the top of her left thigh. They seemed more recent than the one on her knee. 

He noticed her taut belly,  also bearing scars: a mix of knife and bullet wounds. He could tell that these were recent and almost faded. He then noticed her face. She was defiant but he could see her shake. Her lips were still trembling and she swallowed a lump. His own gaze softened up as he wanted to encourage her to turn around. She took a deep breath, then another, and he watched the scar on her upper lip. He never asked about it but it became obvious that something sharp cut through her lip and he wondered when she got that cut. Was it when she was young or was it the business that caused that scar?   She lowered her head and swiftly turned around. She rested her forehead against the wall and bit at her bottom lip, hard, enough to draw blood to her teeth.

The sight made his heart skip several beats. Her back was covered with scars.  He could tell they were old given how they blended well with her skin. Something sharp gave her deep cuts, a knife? Maybe something bigger. He could figure out a couple of gunshot wounds, one on her shoulder and the other on her lower back. He also noticed the type of scar that only a body trailed over rubble could do. Had she been trailed over when she was younger? He couldn't quite figure out what had happened to her but one thing he was certain of, was that someone did it to her. Anger, cold-blooded anger overwhelmed him and he raised on his feet. He quietly walked towards her and put his hand over one of hers. She was still shivering and he could feel she was barely standing so he wrapped his powerful arm around her waist and leaned his chin against her shoulder. 

"I am sorry for what happened to you. All I see is that you've been hurt and all I feel is anger towards those who hurt you. I am not leaving you, Enora. I am /not/ leaving you." -he kissed her neck and nuzzled at the crook of her neck. The more he was giving her affection, the less she could hold it together, so she leaned into him and slowly slid down the wall so they ended up sitting on the floor.- "I have one question."

"Shoot." -She faintly said. He still didn't let go of her hand nor did he stop holding onto her waist, which surprised Ghost-

"Are the ones responsible for this dead? If not, I will find the ones who are still alive and I will kill them myself."

Ghost pinched her lips together, unwilling at first to speak about what she went through. The weight she carried on her shoulders ended up becoming too heavy for her, so the young woman sighed deeply and stopped fighting. The Jackal was the first person to actually stay after they saw her scars. He was the first person to actually hold her and the first to ask about those who were responsible for them. She felt that she could trust him with her burden and share her pain with him. It wouldn't change what happened to her, but she knew she wouldn't be judged if she spoke about it. She could trust him. Couldn't she? 

"I was 8 years old when that happened. I used to live in a very small city, almost a village in DCR Congo. I had good parents and a very fun and loving younger brother. I thought that my life would always be good because I was born into a good family. They sent me to school and on Friday I was allowed to help my aunt at the orphanage she was running. I would do some chores, I would help with the babies... It was a good life. One day, a couple weeks before I turned 9, our city was attacked. I was at the orphanage with my aunt so I couldn't figure out what was happening at the time. My aunt tried her best to protect the youngest of the orphans. She hid us in the church's basement but they found us. When they took us out, I saw the carnage, all the older orphans have been killed, and raped. my aunt was still alive, gravely injured and bound so she could watch her precious children die one after the other. The babies were killed swiftly. The children... Well... some were killed instantly, others were beaten and tortured, and I... I caught the eye of one of them."

She shook harder and started to cry. Jackal's heart twisted in rage. He knew what was to come, and he hated that it had happened to her. Ghost moistened her lips and wiped the snot and tears off her face with the back of her hand. She had to continue telling her story, even if she sounded very stoic and distant from the events she was describing. She had to keep going.  The Jackal remained silent, as he wanted her to keep talking until she couldn't before he said something. He couldn't take the risk to stop her as she was telling the story.

"I tried my best to fight him off but he was just so strong. He grabbed my arm and took me to the unfinished side of the church. Some of his buddies followed him because they wanted to watch what he was going to do to me. I felt helpless and I was so shocked, I couldn't even call for my parents. I couldn't speak.  He tore my clothes off of me, pushed me on the rubbles on the floor, and raped me. Once I realized he wouldn't listen to my pleas and that my pain was arousing him, I stopped fighting.  I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me in pain anymore so I remained there, lifeless. That angered him. It angered the other men with him. So he took his knife and he slashed my face. The scar above my lip that goes into my cheek? that was him.  He thought I would give in to him again and that I would scream but I couldn't. I didn't want to. I cried still, but I made no noise. So he took me harder. He hurt me but at this point, I was hurting so badly that I didn't care about how rough he was. I wanted to die."

How could he blame her for wanting to die? Anyone would want to if they were in her shoes.  He knew that the story she would tell him would make his blood boil and it really started to. He had a code of some sort, he only killed bad people. He only killed adults. He loathed those who killed, tortured, or assaulted innocent people. Heck, he even killed his own squad for killing innocent wedding-goers! He held onto her tighter and pressed his lips to the top of her head. It gave her some warmth and she found the strength to keep talking. 

"I prayed that I would just die but then I realized that my aunt was there and she saw me. She saw the blood between my legs, she saw my naked body violated by this monster. She heard them laugh at me, calling me names and she couldn't take it, so she managed to grab one of the guns within her reach. They had tied her hands in front of her, which gave her an edge I guess. She grabbed the gun, shot at the man she took it from, and killed him. That angered the rest of them and the man who was raping me. I watched as they killed my aunt whose only crime was to try and protect me. That sent me into a rage. I wanted to kill them all instead of dying, I wanted them to die. So I looked at their faces, looked at what they were wearing. I wanted to remember everything just in case I survived."

Ghost couldn't stop crying as she told her story. She realized that after keeping her story for so long, speaking the truth felt like taking her first deep breath. In this room, with the jackal, she was at her most vulnerable, but she also felt the safest. 

"And the man who raped me? well, he couldn't finish if he wasn't killing me so he turned me around. He took me from behind while he slashed my back with his machete. He cut deep and I felt him cum inside of me as he tore my skin apart with his blade. There was blood everywhere on him.  When he grew tired of slashing me, he withdrew from me and stood up. He grabbed his gun and shot twice at me, just to make sure that I was dead. I didn't move because I needed him to believe I was dead. He didn't even bother to check my face. He simply left.  I waited until  I heard the noise of their truck to painfully stand up and walk my way to the window, so I could see the type of truck they drove."

  

The jackal gritted his teeth as she kept talking. his mind was racing since he was trying to keep the details of her story in his mind. He already made a mental note to ask her about the man who assaulted her. He needed to get his name and whatever he could possibly use to track him down. He needed to know what she knew about him in detail so he could help and could kill that man himself. For her. For his selfish desire to see him gone from this planet. 

"It was a military jeep. They were wearing tactical gear, calling each other with military ranks... These guys were or at least had been in the military.  I walked to my parents' house, but they were all dead already. I remember I cried and passed out and only after a couple hours, was I found still breathing, by the survivors.. those who fled to the forest and later came back. I survived by sheer luck and determination. That day, all I wanted was to find these men and kill them. I still had an uncle, the one who found me. He treated me well, made me go back to school, and gave me to his British friends so they could take me to the UK and give me a proper education." 

She didn't have to tell him how she came about becoming Ghost but he acknowledged that she felt the need to tell her story to him. He acknowledged the trust she had in him and planted another kiss on top of her head, mind-absently so.  Unlike him, her past shaped her decision to become a hitman. She got blood on her hands out of revenge and a need to punish the bad guys. Somehow, for someone who claimed she didn't have any humanity, he found out that she was in fact, far more humane than he thought. 

"I researched, fine-tuned my skills, and learned to become an efficient killer once I was ready, I went to see my uncle on his deathbed and promised that those who came to our home and destroyed it would pay for it. He gave me his blessings and I went to work. One after the other, I found them all. Ex-military turned mercenaries; That's who attacked us.  they first worked for Wagner and then left because they wanted to make more money. One by one, I killed them and I made sure they knew it was the little girl in that small Congolese town who was cutting their throat. The only one I was able to find but couldn't kill was my rapist. He... Every time I see his face, I just freeze and I can't shoot. I can't stab... I can't get close to him so he's been eluding me for years now. I need to find him and I need to kill him so I can finish what I started and I could make him pay. Why aren't you disgusted by my scars? Charles? Why are you still here? Why did you want to know?" She ended up sobbing, unable to contain her tears any longer-

"Why would I leave you, Enora? Why would I be disgusted by your scars? I was in the military, and I've been to war. I know the horrors of war. If anything, this is familiar to me. What I want right now, is to find the bastard who did it to you and put a fucking bullet in between his eyes. He would pay for what he did to you and to countless others. He will pay. I swear!" 

He then gently cupped her chin and lifted her head so she could stare at him. She couldn't believe her ears but she could see that he was genuine. So she nodded and sobbed harder. That night, she wouldn't be able to speak more about what happened to her. She wouldn't be able to talk about /that man/. But she promised him that he would know soon enough. When she's ready to talk again. He put her back to bed and turned off the light to help her fall asleep again. As they found each other under the sheets again, this time Ghost knew that she was safe and the Jackal felt that there was no turning back from then. 

"Alex. My name is Alexander Duggan." -He admitted  as he wrapped his arm around her frame and pulled her into a tight hug.-

"Diane... My real name is Diane."

Indeed... There was no turning back from this.

----

Random thoughts: I used to be naive.

Ah, I don't know if it's because people feel emboldened to be assholes or if they simply stopped caring about others. I don't know what it is that makes people so nasty to others. 

I used to believe that as time moved forward, so would people. I believed that we would all be smart, empathetic, kind, and caring towards others. I believed that all the petty differences between us would be overlooked in favor of the content of our hearts. After all, we're humans. We roughly want the same thing: to be happy, to be healthy, to have a job, to be able to care for those we love...we want to feel safe and we want to be loved.  I really used to believe that once this was known by everyone, then there would be no need for war, for violence, and for hatred. 

That was super naive. Mankind is not like this. 

I realized now, that we really do live in eternal cycles. For every progress, there is a setback whether major or minor.  That we repeat the same mistakes and we can't escape our violent nature. That's what mankind is. A complex being with complex emotions that can't be controlled no matter how hard some would try. Humans make choices, every day. To be the better version of themselves, to be good, or to be a cunt just because they can.  After all, it's easier to go this way rather than try and better oneself.  

I know it, I've had a moment in my life where I was going through the slippery slope of fear and anger and I had to remind myself that the many are not responsible for the violence/ errors/ whatever you call it of the few. I had to work hard for me to stop seeing everyone as a potential aggressor because they weren't responsible for those who assaulted me. It took its time, but I was stronger for it.  I chose love. I chose compassion. I chose to care. But I am also aware that many won't choose it. 

Many would be assholes. 

Many would hurt others. 

And these days, it just feels as if there are too many of them. 

not enough kind souls. But then, I remember that the weakest are the loudest, especially when they are mean. They can try to stir the pot, they won't make the world like them. 

RP SPLOVE TOMMY

"What do you like about your partner's characters or the way they portray them?"

TOMMY

"The kingpin of Birmingham, the cursed gangster who is afraid to lose the woman he loves."

Me: "I think that discovering that we both watched and loved Peaky Blinders totally wrecked my world but in a good way. I didn't expect it and all the time spent watching the show, all I could think of was: "Oh N. would love it so much. He would love Tommy Shelby. He's right up his alley!" Color me surprised when we talked about it at the start of season 6 and we realized that we both loved the show!  I was so happy, so damn happy! And I knew N could pull him off. How could he not? At this point in our writing partnership, I knew him pretty well actually and I knew that he was capable of doing a lot of great things and he didn't disappoint. You know, I am such a slut for Tommy Shelby! (I can't help myself, look at his face! look at this charisma! look at this broken older man. I can't help it!). Like with all of our boys, he really respects Tom. He is faithful to his personality and we wouldn't see him act out of line or out of character because it's not N's style. This storyline is something I really love because we have broken characters who love each other fiercely and who are facing the worst thing possible. We know that Tom is a gangster and this type of life rarely leaves you unscathed. 

We know he has enemies everywhere and very few allies. (and even his allies betray him! Hell, even his family betray him!). We know he's very closed off and rarely speaks his mind or heart unless there is drama and he has no other choice but to spit it out. We know he's cautious and hurt and he's been through the worst Life could offer. I love it! I love him so much! Ugh! So so much! I love the way N makes sure that we know what's going on in his mind because our boy Tommy isn't really a talkative guy. He speaks in gestures. He is calculated and rather cold for those who don't know him. Mary does. and you know, they're both messed up in a way but they both make it work somehow. 

Mary isn't possessive of Tom in the common use of that word. She isn't trying to keep him to herself. What she wants and what she will always do her best to achieve is his happiness. She wants him happy. She wants him to have a life with his child. She wants him to give his family what his father couldn't give them. She wants him to feel that he deserves to have a life and he deserves to be happy too. She knows that it wouldn't be enough, because he needs to be a gangster and he needs to fight people above him but Mary also knows that he needs to have something to anchor him to this life. Something to fight for, something for himself.  So she works hard for this. She works hard to make sure he is still healthy and that he doesn't end up wounded or worse.... dead. She's possessive of this. I love that he knows what Mary needs and he is always soft with her, even when they argue, he never raises his hand against her because he knows her first husband was like that and he doesn't want to hurt Mary. He's soft when it matters. He speaks when it matters and he is also so possessive! It's a trait of Tommy I really love. I love when he's possessive like that and he can't help but want more and want her around and want her attention to be on him and no one else. Just the mention of another man possibly sweeping her off of her feet and away from him is enough to make him lose his mind. It's enough to worry him because he knows he can't lose her. 

I am honestly in awe when I look at N's portrayal of Tommy. It's so visceral, so deep, so good that I can't help but smile when something good happens or weep when something awful happens. I want / this version/ of Tommy to go through everything, from shit to pure happiness. I want his Tommy to experience all of it and to be honest, I love him so much that I'm mostly drawn to N's version of the character now XD I mean.. yeah of course, there will always be a lot of love for Tommy as portrayed by the actor. (I'm a simp, I confess) but you can't tell me that I would snub N's version of the character! He's everything Tommy is, even sexier!!! yes, I said it! (lmao Oh my god, you'll end up thinking I'm a thirsty bitch.. wait... I am thirsty!)  but he's phenomenal and I am so invested in their storylines. You know... N's fantastic and so is the way he writes his characters! I can't get enough of them. I can't get enough of his Tom. I can't get enough of all the other boys and I hope that he would still want to write with me wherever we decide to go :D 

RP SFW SPLOVE Dean

"What do you like about your partner's characters or the way they portray them?"

DEAN

"The hunter ready to go to Hell and Back for his family."

me: "Well... Dean... Dean will always have a special place in my heart. It's hard to explain it to people who aren't familiar with it, but Dean and Doya were the one true test (and testament) of our friendship. It was the storylines, the characters, and everything that happened between them that brought us closer together. Doya might be a bit silent these days but they are still there, still active, still living their best (and stressful) life.  Now, now, what made N's Dean better than the rest of them is that he respected the character. He didn't make him like the perfect man in the whole world, didn't make him like a superhero who made women drop their panties for him. He treated him like a person. He acknowledged his fears, traumas, and his co-dependency on Sam and Castiel. He acknowledged the fact Dean carries the whole world on his shoulders and feels that he has to atone for the sins of others. Dean is empathetic, he is in pain as well and despite his "debonnaire" attitude and bravado he puts on display, Dean is afraid. Dean feels lonely. Dean is in pain. N' respects that. He respects Dean with all of his idiosyncrasies. He respects him with his flaws and his qualities. he respects him and I love that he cares for Dean the way I do too. 

I don't play with him. Mostly because I identify a lot with Dean so I really want him to be taken care of by someone who genuinely cares about him and who better than N. to do it?  I fell in love with his Dean, with the fact that despite all this darkness and pain, sometimes there was light too. It felt so good to see him with Oya, learn how to trust again, how to be vulnerable again with someone who understood the type of life he was leading. He didn't have to compromise who he was because Oya saw him through the smoke and bullshit and she knew the job by heart since she also was a hunter. I love his Dean because he has his moments where he's cute goofy and relaxed. He also has his moments where he's tense, upset, worried and he can lash out. Through thick and thin, Oya is here.  It took me a minute to actually realize that my Oya was welcomed as she was and I wasn't going to risk being rejected again, not by Nate. She could be snappy, she could be cute, she could be vulnerable and everything and it still would be Oya and she would still be loved.  It honestly liberated me to write with Dean because I knew that we matched well as writers and our characters too. 

They balance each other out and they give strength to each other. A scene that stayed with me was when he asked Oya why everyone ended up leaving him. It broke my heart so much (I cried real tears when we wrote this scene) and I think it singlehandedly convinced Oya to never try and leave because she was wanted in this family. She genuinely wanted and loved there. But there were other moments I still have in mind (and you wouldn't believe just how good Dean is. When he cooks for her when he sings to her, and when he holds her after a nightmare (or during depending on whether or not he's awake when she's having one). Dean is giving Oya genuine love through everything he does. He doesn't need to voice it (yet, he still does because he knows how good it feels to hear "I love you" from someone you love), because his actions show that he loves her and Oya can recognize it.  She trusts his actions more than his words because words can deceive but actions always speak the truth.  I love that N's Dean while difficult to read at times, can open up to these people he chose to open up to. He trusts Oya and she can tell because every action of his is not random.  I love him so much. you have no idea how much I love him. N's touch with this character is essentially what keeps me in that fandom, to be honest XD You know how people are but N's approach to that fandom really is nurturing :) it just makes me want to write there and truth be told, I still do in solos. waiting for the moment both Oya and Dean would be ready to go back to the forefront. 

RP SFW Splove Jaime

"What do you like about your partner's characters or the way they portray them?"

JAIME

"The loyal knight betrothed to the princess, ready to lay his life for her and his family."

Me: "Oh my where to start? Let me get something clear right away. N. Made me fall in love with Jaime Lannister as a character! I started the GOT series as a Jon Snow fan although, Jon disappointed me as soon as he bent the knee, speedrun his romance with Daenerys, and was just a poser and not an actual badass lmaoooo. But Jaime? Well...  I knew he was hot but I didn't get the appeal of this character up until N. and I started to write in this universe. You know, the magic with N. is that no matter where we go and no matter what we do, we'll always find a way to make it work. It just works, like butter on a slice of bread you know?  As soon as we started to write with Jaime and my little Bäahal, the chemistry between these two characters just exploded in our faces. 

I mean, it was so obvious that we were having fun with them and I surprised myself never wanting to stop writing in that universe. Jaime... N's Jaime was suddenly multifaceted, a victim of some sort of his feelings and bad decisions. He was a man driven by love, (for his siblings, for his beloved Cersei, for his people) and this love pushed him to do things he wasn't proud of. He accepted to ruin his reputation because he did the right thing and while he's being hated by the seven kingdoms, he found a fan in me and a lover in Bäahal. She loves him more than I can say. More than life itself because Jaime, the real Jaime is a gem.  he's not perfect, but his imperfections are perfect in my eyes! 

When I say N's Jaime made me swoon, I wasn't kidding! I literally fell off of my chair when Jaime confessed his feelings for Bäahal and explained that he wanted her to have better and that was why he was so harsh with her and tried to distance himself from her. He is tragic, he is intense, he is handsome and he can be frankly sexy! (oh my god, the modern version of Jaime and Bäahal made me sweat once, and I chuckle like an idiot when I think about them because they are hot together, it should be illegal to be this hot!) . It's just.. N's Jaime has a little flair for Drama and the way he speaks, the way he announces things, the way he just is! I think the scene I will forever keep in my heart among the most recent we did, was when he announced to Bäahal that they had Daenerys blessings. He was soooo dramatic but in a good way. And immediately after, the princess wanted more than just a hug. She was tired of waiting for the authorization to touch him. She was tired of having to wait without knowing if/ when she would be able to publicly love that man and it was bittersweet. Because she cried, he tried to comfort her, but she ended up saying "screw this! I want to make love to the man I love" and initiated it. 

It was delicate and clumsy when they showed their bodies and saw each other's scars and shame. And it was so moving when they comforted each other and showed that regardless of how they looked or what happened to them, the love between them was true and genuine and pure. My heart soars when Jaime tells Bäahal that what happened to her doesn't make her lesser in his eyes and that even if she was branded when she was younger, he doesn't care about that scar, it doesn't make her less appealing to him. And my heart soared again when Bäahal kissed his stump and embraced him so he could see and feel that she would never think of him as lesser than a man because he misses a hand. N's Jaime made me smile, laugh, cry, and swoon. He made me fan myself at times because that man knows he can be sexy as hell! He's the complete package and I would never want to stop writing with this character! I don't care if it's Regular verse or Modern verse, but I would always have Jaime by my side because he's magnificent! N's Jaime is everything I wish we saw on TV. He is everything I wish I could see in any novel or TV show. He's a well-rounded character with flaws and qualities that make him unforgettable and N captured it so well.  Jaime, especially when he's soft is my favourite Jaime. I love it when he goes to war and kills enemies to save Bäahal. I also love when he's passionate and they make love. when he snaps and is mean, I want to slap the shit out of his face but when he's soft? Jaime Lannister would be the death of me! Especially N's version of him. I love him, more than I can express but I really love him! (and Bäahal? oh, she's far gone! she's too deep into the "I love Jaime's rabbit's hole"! :p) 

RP SFW splove Klaus

"What do you like about your partner's characters or the way they portray them?"

KLAUS

"The lonely hybrid who found a companion but who still feels like he doesn't deserve to be loved"

Me: " It takes us way back. OH my god. I have always tried to write in this universe but it always fell flat for one reason or another. Back then I was very into Damon Salvatore XD but then I watched the Originals and it made me fall in love with Klaus. I loved this show, watched it until the end, and even cried when it ended. It felt so unfair. But in roleplay? My my my... I never was lucky when it came to writing with people.  It took me a lot of time, failed attempts, and finally, my writing Partner N. tried to give Klaus another shot. My witch was ready and one line led to another and a storyline started. It hit us like a truck! Like a motherfucking truck! By then, we knew each other very well, and we slipped into these new characters with ease. I love his Klaus. Period! I love him so much. 

 N has a way with characters like Klaus. He brings out their nasty side, their vulnerable side and he makes you want to slap that guy and then make out with him! yes yes, I know!!! I know!  but that's true, especially when it comes to Klaus. He makes me want to slap the shit out of him and then just cuddle him. you know? And my witch wants to do more than that. I leave that part to her since unfortunately we can't fuck fiction! (Please, I'm joking here! I do leave that part to her though!) The thing is, Klaus is a very tortured soul. that guy has been turned into a hybrid against his will and for 1500 years he's been suffering non-stop.  It can really mess you up. Just watch the Salvatore brothers (and even Elena as soon as she turned a vampire), it's torture.  N's Klaus is honestly my favorite because he is very flexible as a character. He surprises me, keeps me on the edge of my seat, and makes me guess his next move, and even then, he manages to make me lose my breath at times. 

I like how sharp his tongue is and the bickering with my character. They sometimes get on each other's nerves and it's nice to be able to do it with N's character. Klaus can be vicious and he pulls no punches when it comes to reading a character to filth or pushing them away.  He is very challenging (a bit like a wounded animal) but when you can get to his kinder side.. oh, it's so smooth, like butter. Klaus can hurt deeply but he can also love deeply and I love to see it unfold in front of me. N's Klaus is cunning, clever, and intense. It's so good to be able to know how he's feeling or watch him reflect on something, even if his actions and words would say otherwise. He can be deathly annoying and lethal when it comes to rejection (ask my witch) but it's so rewarding when he is there, caring and fiercely protective.  I like that with N's version, (and Klaus's in general) words have meaning and they are important. 

He is a man of his word and he expects people to keep theirs or to mean them. It's great, because the fact my witch can't lie (and doesn't want to because she doesn't want to feel excruciating pain), will force him to see that some people are genuine and who mean their words. I love that he can be impulsive and sometimes even do things he didn't think he would. We had a rescue scene we wrote some time ago, where my witch came to save Klaus. As soon as he was set free, he pounced and attacked. he didn't waste any second. Yet, even in all that commotion and fight, the only thing he was thinking of was finding her. He wanted to make sure she was safe. He needed to make sure that she was safe. I loved that. I loved it so much and even the next morning, upon waking up and hearing her painfully moan because of her injury, he forced himself to wake up and protect her if they were attacked. that type of things make me SWOON SWOON! oh my god! 

I think it's the best Klaus I had because there is no expectation to just "fall" for his character because he's Klaus Mikaelson. And my witch didn't fall just because she met him. As a matter of fact, she fell for him because he's very endearing in his own little way and she feels that they can understand each other well. After all, because she was forced into Immortality by her curse, she now understands how and why he lost his freaking mind at times and went on rampages. He's delightful to be with and she wants his company more than anything else. She's attached now.. because he is endearing. Because he made her want to see him again, and again and again to the point of her wanting to wake up to him and share her life with him. for all eternity.  Only N. could pull this off for me with this character."

RP SFW splove: Homelander

"What do you like about your partner's characters or the way they portray them?"

HOMELANDER

"A lonely man with a broken heart who found his perfect match in Sara and who will burn the world for her."

Me: " I remember when I watched the show The Boys. As soon as I saw Homelander I knew that he could become one of N.'s characters. He is very N-coded for me to be honest.  He is multifaceted, with some depths and far more than you can see. The twist here is that he's an asshole and a villain. A real villain and it adds something new and exciting to our roster of characters.  I absolutely love the way N. is writing him because he is far from being a caricature. He's not one-dimensional (N never writes one-dimensional characters) and N. brought his own flavor to Homelander which makes him irresistible to me. I am already a fan of this character in the show. Not in the sense of "Oh my god, he's an anti-hero or a hero". Not at all. he's a villain through and through and I refuse to change that core aspect of him. N knows it and he respects that side of the character. His Homelander is a villain just like in the show but his Homelander is not one-dimensional like so many around these parts seem to think he is. Dude is a traumatized child who never went past his traumas. I'm not going to give my full analysis of the character but this should be enough to explain what I mean. I find Homelander in the show interesting because you watch him spiral and lose control, you know the traumas he suffers and you see him take every wrong decision at every turn to try and make it better. I also love that he is not stoic like so many villains we see on TV. He is going through it and we can see it! His face is very expressive and he barely hides his emotions.  I think that N. nails that part really well. It's so exciting to see. 

The thing is, despite being head over heels for Homelander (what can I say? I'm a slut for him! the actor and that mean and villainous blonde head), I'm even more a fan of N's version of the character! You see, it has something that others lack. (no no, it's not that it's written by N. Well.. yes, obviously but it's not just that).  N understands his characters. he respects them. He always makes sure that we know what's going through their minds so we can see why they did what they did (or didn't do). I think that it's very rare for a writer to dive into the psyche of his characters and to make sure they're faithful, to some extent because they would also carry a piece of the writer (and in this case, N.) and act as he thinks he would act in some situations. N's very careful when he writes and I love that about him. I love that he gives the best version of Homelander a girl could ask for and that he does it with me. I love his Homelander and my character, Sara, is definitely dependent on him. She's addicted, devoted, and clearly can't breathe when he's not around (well, she's also dramatic because obviously she can have a life without him lol. She still wants him around and that need, oh that need would only have happened with N's Homelander).  I love it a lot when his Homelander is having a hard time accepting new things but tries... he hates it but he still tries it. and then maybe, he would decide to try it again because he wants to make Sara happy. And maybe, he would eventually like it and it would be no big deal for him.  

He's trying. He's not perfect. He's sometimes very wrong too (most of the time) but this one genuine thing he has for both his son and Sara makes him endearing. N's Homelander pulls you in and you don't want to leave him alone. I know Sara doesn't want to leave him alone and she makes such a scene when she hasn't seen him in a while. She's the most vocal of my girls, the most demanding, the neediest and it wouldn't have been the case if N's Homelander wasn't giving us the urge to want to see him. You know what I mean?  I love the balance of vulnerability and the disregard for any frustration N's Homelander has. it's very entertaining and I have a lot of fun with Sara and Homie. A lot! I don't know how to say it without looking needy myself, but I have A L.O.T of fun with Homelander and Sara and while I don't want anything bad to happen to them, there would be. The Boys would know about her, and Butcher would be awful to Sara, (as in, he won't hesitate to kidnap and torture her), Her exes would come back to haunt her and break them apart, and he is going to have a hard time reigning in the Seven (given he was betrayed by A-train and firecracker is a stalker he doesn't want around him). I want Homelander to go through everything because I know N. would be able to handle it with grace, with skills, and with passion.  I can't even begin to tell you the shit-eating grin I have whenever I read a response from Homelander and I see that he's everything Sara (and I) wanted and even more!  N gets him. He really does and I love Homie when he's at his most unhinged or when he's actually in a playful mood. The way I melt and my chair with me! Arrh! I love him! "