The end of 2024

The end of 2024

How to define 2024?

As usual, the wonderful art (and tradition) by the wonderful artist Lelia Alvarez.  I fell in love with her art in 2011 and as soon as she started this tradition, I just embraced it all together :D  With this, of course, I always attached a little reflection on the year that passed and wishes for the year to come. 

I will start by wishing you the best holiday season to all of you.  I know that the year has been extremely intense and heartbreaking for some of you, quite fulfilling for others, and quite exciting as well. I can only hope that 2025 will sort things out in a positive way. I can only hope that you will keep on exploring and experimenting. I can only hope that you will keep on taking care of yourselves, your needs, your dreams, and your desires, and for those who couldn't rest this year, I can wish you all the rest possible. I know it's a bit cheesy, but I really want you to have a better 2025 and be much happier.  Yes, the wishes are the same as last year, but they resonated with me this year and I hope they still resonate with you as well.

Since 2021 things have been really hectic on my side. I told you about my dad's cancer and near-deaths from late 2021 to his somehow stability and ongoing battle with the disease up to this year. He's back to who he used to be and through hard work and dedication, he is far more autonomous and doesn't require as much care as before. I lost a friend to cancer that same year and it had sincerely been difficult for me to cope with that loss, especially when there are things I know she would have loved and I can't tell her about it anymore, but I'm getting there. My twin, in late 2022,  was diagnosed with cancer as well and I honestly thought my life was ending right then and there. I had to pull myself together and I am grateful for the help I got from family and friends to hold onto Hope and communicate it to my twin. I admire her so much, she fought teeth and nails and today, she's officially in recovery. we can only hope that after the mandatory couple of years of observation, all her results would show negative and she would officially be declared cured of that disease. But boy, these last couple of years were sincerely rough on us all, but they pulled through and they fought hard and I am grateful for yet another Christmas I can celebrate with my twin because she is half of me. I don't know how to do life without her. I dreaded losing her because then, what would I do? Needless to say, anxiety and depression were at an all-time high but my therapist truly was god-sent and my support system was awesome. I owe them my life. 

The year had not just been challenging but also very positive come to think of it! Besides the health progress of my dad and twin, I became an aunt and I fell in love with that tiny human my little sister brought on Earth. I count my blessings because I was able to have a very intense and positive year at a very personal level. I am so deeply in love with my partner. He is so awesome, my best friend, a darling, a funny guy who always makes me laugh and makes me feel safe when we're together. We are doing that adult life well and soon enough, I'll be able to openly be excited about a little project of ours :D I'm so happy about my book because now it's being reviewed and proof-read :D  I was able to strengthen my friendships and end those that were toxic to me. I am still baffled at one friendship that ended recently, but I am glad it happened at the end of the year so I can start 2025 on a fresh start!  Thank you darlings. Thank you so much for everything. I felt privileged to share my friends' important moments and to be a friend to them to my best abilities.  I was able to meet new people, broaden my circle of friends, to grow more comfortable in my skin. I still continue my therapy, still, take care of my mental health, and still fuel my creativity.  

yes, I know, it's the same wish for myself as the previous years but why break what works? 

It's been a really good year and I really loved it. I can only wish that the year to come, would top it off or be even better. 

I really hope that you will have a wonderful end of the year and that 2025 will treat you better. 

May

TB (smut): Missing him

How long had it been since Sara saw her baby? A month? more? She didn't know! It already was too much. Sara was finally enjoying some downtime between the preparations for her next national tour. It had been such a long time since she could sit back and relax and she started to become irritated. Usually, when she was like that, Sara always managed to find a way to unwind. She would eagerly await the evening to spend time with Homelander and the two of them would "connect" in a way that only they knew.  She needed sex, that was very obvious. She needed it and he was /not/ available to help her, so it was really bothering her not to be able to have her baby and not to be able to be railed roughly.  So she allowed her imagination to run wild. Alone in her office locked twice, Sara had pulled her skirt up and buttoned down her shirt to her sternum. 

Her fantasy started with a kiss on her delicate neck after he had pushed away some black strands. She smelled good, as usual. She smelled like fresh roses. Her scent usually drove The Homelander crazy and he couldn’t help but bite slightly at her neck. As he grazed his fangs on her skin and savored the sweet taste of her skin, he became interested in going further down. She was sat on a leather chair, pressed against it and he quickly knelt in front of her. His azure eyes were staring at her black orbs and he grinned widely, baring his fangs at her and smirking seductively.  in her fantasy, Sara was reading a book and put it aside to focus her attention on him. His voice was thick with arousal and she understood that he didn’t want to talk about her books with her. He bent forward to kiss her but she put her hand in between them to stop him. She wanted to frustrate him some and make him groan so she pushed his face away and nipped at her bottom lip.

“No John, not your way...”

“Fine! What do you want then?”

He was curious, she was playful. She knew he wanted to pounce on her, possess her like a wild mammal to fulfill his need but she had other plans in mind. She wanted to first lose her mind. Usually when he was almost driven crazy but his natural urges, she would let him undress her and ensure she was wet enough for him before he took her. Sara could easily be turned on, and that night was not any different. from the moment she saw his face, she was starting to get turned on. yet,  that night, she wanted to be pampered first. Both of them had been mentally exhausted and frustrated. The boys were wreaking havoc and becoming more of a threat than ever. There had been a whole debacle with Soldier Boy and everything ended up making Sara worried for Homelander. It ended up stressing the fuck out of him too which was the perfect reason for both of them to get together and unwind.

She grinned and pointed with her forefinger down below, to her navel, then a bit further down. Her mischievous gaze met his curious one. He understood what she wanted and slowly started to tear her tank top. He let her feel the cold gloves against her boiling-hot skin, which made her arch her back and shiver slightly. He was between her legs, which since she was in a chair, were naturally spread on each of his sides. He pushed open the fabric so he could have a better view of her lush breasts. His eyes were flashing red light as his excitement with over the top, for he was less and less in total control of his instincts. That tiny little red line he could so easily cross was the only thing that prevented him from lasering her out. He still had control, of course! and anyone else would have been scared but not Sara.  

She was turned on even more because she knew how much control he needed right now and how hard he was fighting against the urge to simply take her right here and right there. Her request, at such a moment, was a new challenge for him and she could see, the veins on his arms and neck. Her breath was sharp but she held his blue gaze, to see his very reactions to whatever she might be doing next. He was watching indeed, breathing on her warm inner thigh. Sara rolled her hips and cupped her supple breasts,

“Go on baby..” She breathlessly commanded as she started to knead her large bosom. He watched intently but obeyed her command,  he used his hands to push her skirt down her legs. It was painfully slow so she could hear the screeching sound of the pushed fabric. She helped him as she moved her hips upwards so he could remove quickly the fabric as well as her ruined wet panties. Sara smiled at him and curbed a brow as Homelander moistened his lips and wrapped his muscular arms around her toned and thick legs, ready to oblige her request. The scent alone was driving him crazy and he knew that the moment he would venture his tongue down there, the moment he would lose control of himself.

But could he be blamed?

Sara rolled her head as her fantasy took off and she could feel shivers go down her spine. She loved the idea of her Homelander eating her out. She moaned out as her fingers replaced his tongue in reality. She rubbed her folds, felt her wetness coat her fingers, and made it easier for her to slide her fingers in and out of her tight little core. She could feel her toes curl as she went faster inside her hot pussy. She could almost feel as if he was there as if his tongue was tasting her and visiting every crease and crevice inside her warm hot little cunt. Oh, how she wished he was there. How she wished he could fill her up.  

She wanted to hear him talk to her, to hear him speak crudely to her ear. She wanted to feel him stretch her little cunt with his tongue, to make her moan his name, which she did as if he was the one making her quiver and lose control. Her eyes rolled back into her skull and she closed her legs around her hand. She needed Homelander. She needed him so bad that even though she managed to bring herself to completion. it wasn't the same as if it was him. As she came hard, soaking her chair and her legs with her warm essence. She gasped and shook, her mouth unable to stay close as she needed to moan loudly. Her hand ran through her hair and face. She tasted herself, licking her fingers with eagerness until she finally leaned back into her chair. She was missing her boyfriend and she needed to reach out to him. So she grabbed her phone and tried to call him in hopes he would answer and they could meet again. 

Would he answer? 

Doya: A quiet morning

Oya rolled on her side to face Dean who was still sleeping. She was rarely awake when he was sleeping so she took the opportunity to stare at him when he was most relaxed. Dean looked so good like that as if nothing could trouble his sleep. He looked as if he wasn't aware of the horrors of the world and the existence of the supernatural world. He looked as if he had never gone to Hell and never had been tortured for centuries down there. She couldn't help herself but gently cupped his cheek with her warm palm. Dean groaned but didn't wake up, which made her smile at him. It felt so good to be able to take a (short) break from hunting. It felt so good to be able to focus on just themselves.  

The world wasn't devoid of hunters and while Dean and Team Free Will were the most efficient, to the point of reaching legendary status, Dean didn't have to always work. Any member of that team didn't have to always work. They deserved breaks when they could take them. Hence why Dean suggested they went on a little honeymoon of some sort, where they wouldn't have to think about potential cases. The World was still spinning and they would intervene if there was a need for this. So, when the first sunrays pierced the darkness of the room, Oya woke up and decided to spend the morning just looking at the love of her life. They have been together for many years but Dean still managed to make Oya's heart beat faster when she was close to him. Dean always managed to make Oya feel safe when she was with him. 

She stroked his cheek and gently peppered his forehead with a couple kisses. Dean groaned and rolled on himself to lay on his back. He was still sleeping but felt a bit more comfortable, which reassured Oya. She leaned her head against his shoulder and looked at the ceiling. She was happy, in a way that she never thought would be possible. She was happy and she didn't want this happiness to escape her. It made her stroke the skin of her arms to feel her scars as a way to soothe her. She survived the Asanbosam, she could survive anything life would throw at her. It was also a reminder to be cautious and never take anything for granted. The Asanbosam arrived in her life unprompted and killed both her mother and brother. Illness with grief took her father away from her. Another demon possessed her ex-fiancé and forced her to kill him with her bare hands. Anything could happen and she wanted to be ready for it but she also knew that it would be best to appreciate the good things in her life. And this morning was something good, something she would never forget. 

GOT regular: To become better.

Since the betrayal and the siege she had to endure, the princess was determined to become even better at fighting with swords. She demanded to be trained by the swordmaster of the Red Keep to maintain her sharp reflexes. She needed to be ready in case something similar was to happen to her and she decided to take advantage of the fact she was thought to be dead to actually strengthen up. Jaime encouraged her to resume training, thinking that it was a good idea and would prove useful as time went by. He couldn't train her completely as he wished to do, but he could always help her correct her stance, and teach her fighting strategies (especially spatial awareness and the use of her surroundings during a fight). 

Being unable to actually teach her how to fight had been a point of tension between the knight and the princess because he was painfully aware of his disability.  He couldn't wield his sword like he used to and it pained him to have to rely on someone else to do it. Bäahal understood and she tried to comfort her betrothed the best way she knew of. She had always known a maimed Jaime and even then, when they first met, she thought he was a hardened warrior. Missing a hand, being half-blind, or even old were never disqualifying, but he would rather have her be trained by someone else than not trained at all. So here she was, standing tall before her swordmaster, determined to become better and stronger so she could protect those who would need it the most. She was already thinking about what was coming next. Lady Kyra would need some help with the noble houses. If she wanted to help her friend, she had to be better. She would be better. 

-TBC-

Klasma: All eyes on him

 New Orleans, Ballroom: 

Klaus and his witch enjoyed masquerade balls. It allowed them to dress up and look their best for the night. It also was an opportunity for them to dance that night without being worried about their enemies. That evening was hotter than usual and the room was crowded, more than anticipated as the evening was quite a successful one. The cursed witch came, dressed in a silver gown that looked like a flower. her hair was masterfully tied in a tight bun and she had silver heels at her feet. She looked exquisite that night and so did Klaus Mikaelson. He made sure to dress his best that night, wearing a three-piece tuxedo with white gloves and leather shoes. He had slicked his hair back, giving him a timeless look that matched the timeless beauty of his partner. 

For a brief moment, they were separated so Klaus could fetch a drink to his date. A couple came to her, complimenting her looks and beauty and that of her partner of the night. She politely entertained the conversation but her eyes were distracted and she glanced at Klaus. She saw how people were looking at him, with envy and desire, and that made her smile to herself. The Mikaelson was indeed a handsome man, perfect in every way, and the object of affection (and hatred) of so many people she lost count. Just when Klaus had grabbed two glasses of champagne, he lifted his head and met with her gaze. Time froze at this moment and everyone around them disappeared from her sight. There only was Klaus, with his little smirk and his intense blue eyes. He could feel her heartbeats go faster and her cheeks burn because blood was rushing there. She was blushing, at a loss of words upon seeing Klaus. 

She mind-absently replied to the couple who tried to have a conversation with her, as her golden gaze set upon the hybrid. He lifted one glass as if he was toasting with her from a distance and she nodded slowly. He noticed the change in her breathing, the fact she had to breathe harder and faster only told him that she was slowly getting worked up by the sight of him. It was carnal desire, a need that was growing so intensely that she wanted to push the people she was talking to to get closer to him.  It also was a desire to get closer to him, to have him stroke her cheek, nuzzle her neck with his nose, or just hold her tight. She wanted to make him smile, to gently wrap her arms around his frame, and to make out with him. She wanted to hold his hand and fall asleep on his chest.  

Her eyes grew wide when he sensually cleaned some of the champagne that had spilled. It was a simple gesture but it was enough to make her weak in the knees.  He always made her weak in the knees and the witch found herself just unable to look elsewhere. She decided to ditch the couple who were talking to her to join the hybrid. She couldn't handle being far away from him, especially not when he was looking so good. Klaus was magnetic and that night, he was even more than usual. All eyes were on him and he knew it. All eyes were on him and he loved it. 

-TBC-

Colby: Ada and Mary - Bonding time

 "I admire you, Ada. You were able to move forward after the death of your husband."

Mary was still holding a glass of whisky. Ada came for a little visit and the two women ended up drinking together and reminisced about the times when John was still alive. They also talked about Ada's children and Charlie and little by little, they focused their conversation on themselves. Mary had always admired Ada's hard head and bravado. Ada was a no-nonsense woman who refused to be disrespected. She had endured the negative reaction towards her bi-racial child and had never let it interfere with her child's happiness. If anything, she was fiercely protecting her children, while also allowing herself the right to be happy and pursue that happiness. Her husband's life was over and had been for a decade by now, but hers was just at the beginning. She still had a lot to do and to see such a vibrant woman comforted Mary. 

Tommy's sister, however, felt that Mary was selling herself short. It was one thing to marry the love of one's life and to lose it to murder. It was another one to actually survive through the shitload of abuse Mary Colson went through and still keep a gentle heart. Surviving was not the most admirable thing about Mary. Everyone survived but not everyone kept a kind heart like Mary did. Not everyone could still see the good in people like Mary did. Not everyone was willing to give another chance at life, at love, at happiness like Mary did. Ada was admirative of that and she wanted Mary to be able to see it as well. While Mary was still drinking, she lit up a cigarette and slowly blew some of it before she said. 

"You managed to do just the same, Mary." 

"I didn't love my husband. I thought I did but I was just a child. After the death of our son, I grew up. I realized that I didn't love him but I hoped he did. I had no one else but him. When he died, I felt relieved."

Mary shook her head and furrowed her brows at Ada's reply. How could she say something like this? She blushed and set her green eyes upon the Shelby.  Ada curbed a brow, not because she didn't agree with what Mary was saying but because it still wasn't grounds to admire /her/. Ada went with the motion. It was hard as fuck to survive Freddie. It was difficult but she managed to keep going, one foot after the other. One day after the other. Mary fought against the odds and even then, even after she succeeded, she still believed that she didn't do enough, that she wasn't enough. That was a mindset Ada wanted to snap her out of. If anything, Mary proved that she was more than enough. 

"There's nothing to admire from me. I just did what I had to do for our child. I just did what I had to do that I knew he'd want me to. "

"It takes a lot of strength, Ada.  It took me so long before I felt the desire to live again. It took the love of Charlie... It took Tommy... It took your family for me to actually start to heal. For so long I felt like a walking corpse. Walking aimlessly and feeling numb. I didn't have a goal and I felt that I had nothing to look forward to. I just...I was lost for so long, Ada. So fucking long." -She said, taking another sip of her whisky. Ada's blue gaze softened and she blew some smoke before her free hand gently held onto Mary's.-

"I understand. More than you know. I understand exactly what you said. I just couldn't fail my child back then and  I can't fail my children today so...I have to keep moving. Mary, I admire you as well. I think that it takes a lot of guts to endure all you have to endure and to survive. You managed to build a life for yourself, to find your way back to life. Ever since you came into our lives, I have felt better. Tom's happier... Charlie too. You're kind. I am not. You're still kind despite what life gave you and this.... this I admire." -Ada then squeezed Mary's hand who smiled at her-

"You shouldn't be admiring me, but... I do appreciate the kind words you have for me. I didn't know you thought this about me."

" There are a lot of things I do think. I don't always have the time to speak on it or my brother doesn't have it in him to listen to me. Still... I am happy you're in our lives, Mary. And it's not too far-fetched to think that we all do." 

She blew another smoke and leaned into her chair but before they could eventually keep talking, a loud cry could be heard in the living room. Elisabeth was crying, which alerted Ada who quickly stood up and waltzed to the living room, only to find her daughter cut open on her forehead, her older brother was trying to dab a handkerchief on her forehead while Charlie was running out of the room. He bumped into Ada who asked him what happened and he explained that they were running around and Elisabeth hit the corner of the table and ended up cutting her forehead up. The two women looked at each other and Mary nodded. She would quickly take care of it and make sure she would stitch Elisabeth up so there would be no deep scar left. Ultimately, wasn't it how chaotic life was supposed to be when there were children? Strangely enough, this very mundane thing reassured Mary. All was well. All would be well. 

GOT (modern): Deep thoughts in the bathtub

Bäahal sat in her bathtub. Her legs were pulled up so she could wrap her arms around her frame. Her purple hues stared aimlessly before her. Her luscious white locks were tied in a loose bun so they wouldn't get wet. She could feel it, the warmth in her heart and a newfound calmness she was slowly getting used to. Jaime told her that he was ready to step out together with her. He told her he loved her and he wanted her to be happy. If that meant being out in public, then he would try his best to make it happen. Knowing that he was willing to face the scrutiny of the public and the wrath of both their families comforted the heiress more than she expected. Suddenly, she wasn't fighting alone. Jaime was with her. It made her smile and she leaned her forehead against her knees. Everything would be alright. 

The young woman knew all too well how negatively her siblings and extended family would react to the news of her dating a Lannister. She knew she was going against the family feud her father started with Tywinn Lannister. She knew that Daenerys would take it for betrayal and she would actively reject her sister because she went against their father's wishes. She knew Viserys would loath her, and rightfully so since he hated the Lannisters. It didn't matter how sober he was, this hatred for the Lannisters existed long before he was an adult and his constant public beef with Cersei Lannister only further demonstrated just how much he loathed this family.  They would not take it well but Bâahal didn't want to sit around and wait for them to approve everything she did. If she did, she knew she would have to kiss her freedom goodbye and that was not something she wanted. 

it felt good to be able to finally have something for herself. She was free to be friends with whomever she wanted regardless of how her family would take it. Kyra Lannister was her best friend, her only friend for that matter, so why would she hide this relationship from the world? The same goes for her relationship with Jaime. She was happy when she was with him! Why would she keep it to herself? Yes, of course, being a public figure would always come with unwanted attention and the paparazzi were ready to photograph her at any candid moments (especially if these were embarrassing). She knew that people would look at her and pretend they knew everything about her. She knew about their judgment and grew up being judged for being alive. What would be new? What would be new if not just her being happy for once? She shrugged and held her legs tighter.  She could do this! She could step out with Jaime as her lover and Kyra as her best friend and would be strong enough to face anything that would come their way.  Perhaps, living her truth with a good support system would actually give Bâahal the stability she was looking for. Perhaps....

Kaedegirl bio and presentation of Asma Jensen

KAEDEGIRL

Kaedegirl is an upcoming novelist and poet. Most of her old work is in French but she self-published and sold two poem collections:  The Misadventures of Eros and Thanatos Vol. I and Vol. II.  Her next big project is a novel: No More Tears, which will be published soon and translated into English. She's French with ties to Cameroon and lives in France with her partner and books,  at the heart of the city of Lights and Love She is a little shy but with a rich inner world she's eager to share with the rest of the world. 

xxxx

Asma character: 

The character was created in 2009

​

  Asma is a superhero from another planet and offers the light of hope to those who have lost theirs

Oh how quickly life can change! In the blink of an eye Asma Jensen, Queen of the planet Metron, was forced into an everlasting slumber. Her sleeping pod was discovered several millennia later during an archeological excavation and was taken to a secret facility owned and run by the president of her new homeland. During an experiment with her pod, it was accidentally opened and Asma woke up into this new world of advanced technology.

 

Asma demonstrated powers and abilities that were not possessed by any metroians and she felt it was necessary to conceal her knowledge of the past. After an extensive period of tests, the president offered Asma to become the new asset of her task force team. She accepted the offer knowing she had to adapt to make a new life for herself in this foreign world. However, the level of normalcy she obtained for two years was about to emerge into chaos. The president of her new homeland survived an assassination attempt and now Asma and her teammates are tasked with investigating the failed coup. But none of them realized just how big of an adventure they were about to experience.

COLBY: Where is the man I love

Mary had made her request, with a little bit of apprehension in her voice, but she still made it. She requested for Tommy Shelby to attend the family holidays. He usually attended them until Grace's death. He did it once and then stopped doing it altogether. Ada took over. She decided to organize the holidays so the children would actually have a little bit of joy and whimsy in their lives. Mary joined and helped her in her endeavor but it became quite obvious that Tommy's absence was heavily felt by his son and by Mary. Ada noticed how upset it made the young woman, so she pulled her aside and talked some sense into her skull. "Go talk to my brother and demand that he attends these holidays. It's for your sake and Charlie's.  If he refuses, tell him that my husband would have attended if he was alive and he shouldn't compete with a dead man. he shouldn't be told to be there for his son at all." And the sentence was enough to convince Mary it was time to speak out. 

She anticipated his reaction and imagined that he would not make it a struggle but he didn't do it. instead, he agreed to be there on Christmas Eve so he could celebrate the holidays with his son and his woman. It took the young woman aback as she didn't expect him to agree without even putting up a fight. Yet, as was typical for  Tommy Shelby, he didn't say much either. He simply contemplated her for a long time, his blue eyes searching her soul as if to answer questions he had in his head. He didn't say much and didn't allow her to properly explain her reasoning. That frustrated the nurse who furrowed her brows and put both hands on the table. 

"That's it? You're not going to ask me why all of a sudden I am making this request?"

"Why would I? You want me to spend some time with me son and you, then that's what I'm going to do."

" You can be exhausting when you want to, Tom!" She exclaimed and then bit the tip of her thumb.- "I wanted to say that you've been quite absent these past months. I get that part of it was because of your business..... and part of it was because you need your time outside, alone. It's just become more frequent. You're outside more than you're here with us and ultimately, your son is growing up without a father and I am.... getting older without my man. It is as if we're a house of two instead of a house of three." -She pointed out "It seems as if you don't want to see us. Is that it, Tom? Are we boring you?"

He could tell she was nervous by how she was playing with her fingers and Tommy blinked several times at her words. How on Earth did she draw this conclusion? How could she think that she was boring and he wanted to escape his family when all he wanted was to have a family? He didn't reply to her as he was looking for the right words to say and she didn't add anything to her claims, because she knew he was searching for an answer. He could see how exhausted she was, the dark circles under her eyes betrayed her tiredness and the way she kept biting at her thumb indicated that she was anxiously awaiting his reply. what could he say to her that could bring some relief? 

"Mary! You're making a tempest out of a glass of water. I'm not bored by you or my son. My mind has indeed been... focused elsewhere but that doesn't mean you're not every day on my mind. I will make up to you both by being there for the holidays."

"I....... Uf! I suppose that you want this conversation to be done now that you've told me you would attend the holiday celebrations? Do you think it's that easy? That I just have to nod in agreement and everything would be alright? Tom! I!!!" She sighed deeply and ran her hand on her face. "I.." She chewed at her bottom lip, deciding that it wasn't worth screaming about. He would listen and would lock himself into his infamous silences. "Just make sure that you see our boy more often. I promised him that his father actually wanted to spend time with him, so don't make me lie to Charlie."

He ended up grabbing her hand and kept it in both of his larger hands. Mary gasped and then looked at his face, confused about what he wanted to do. Tom then stood up and walked behind her. He then wrapped his arms around her frame, keeping both arms and hands against her chest. He was, in a way, giving Mary a hug from behind, and that made the woman tear up. She leaned her head against his and without saying a word, relied on him. She needed to be reassured and he was doing just that, a hug, one of many he should have given her by now. 

One of many he intended to give her. 

Klasma: what else?

 The witch curled her fingers into a ball. She knew that a couple of witches had been tailing her but they were young, way too young to actually try and attack them. It was a game for these young girls, a way for them to challenge each other into doing something wild. They noticed the witch and picked up her powerful aura but couldn't figure out which type of supernatural creature she was. Some thought she was a vampire while others speculated about being a werewolf, but witch had not crossed their thoughts.  She let them come closer to her and before they knew what was happening to them, she ussed her magic to confused their minds. It wasn't right for children to be so close to danger like that and she didn't want to be responsible for their deaths. 

She didn't want to be the one to kill them. It always worked like that, rogue witches found her and without missing a beat, she always ended up alone, alive and standing before their dead bodies. She refused to let these young girls lose their lives because they met with the Cursed One. She didn't want to take their lives because she knew she would end up regretting it, just like she regretted the lives she took during her "void era".  It just couldn't keep happening! As the teenagers, still confused, asked for directions and she gently pointed  the other way, the witch felt a pang in her heart. She was old enough to become a mentor and unfortunately her knowledge was not to be shared with anyone given her nature. It saddened the witch who simply turned around to wipe some fresh tears that had pooled in her eyes. It was a painful reminder of what she had lost, a coven.... sisterhood... All that was left for her was Klaus and even him could prove to be difficult to keep around. 

COPG; Life of Elpis: Aftermath of Jupiter

 Killing Jupiter and absorbing his essence gave Elpis a rush of adrenaline like never before. She could feel it in her veins, the raw power of the god rushing through it, making her stronger. A smile crept on her lips as she realized just how lethal she actually was, and how anger unlocked some abilities she had not known before. It made her happy to see that she was true, more dangerous than she expected to be, and that with proper training, she could become extremely dangerous to the rest of her pantheon, the rest of the universe. Pride would be pleased if he had seen her and as she relished in the memories of Jupiter's last words and fear, she entertained the idea of telling the story of her little escapade to Paris to her beloved.

  Elpis grinned, anticipating his reaction to her retelling of the encounter. His eyes would turn purple, she just knew it. His aura would become even more intense and she would feel his presence in the room. She wanted to prove herself to him, to let him see how powerful his Light actually was, to let him witness how glorious she could be. She wanted to share this moment of pure unaltered joy with him. So without any hesitation, the goddess simply teleported herself to their hotel room, only to find it empty as Pride had not returned yet. She lifted a brow and summoned one of his messengers. 

"Go find your king and tell him that his Queen is waiting for him at our hotel room. I have something to share with him that I know he would appreciate."

"Yes, my queen." -the messenger said before he vanished, much to her surprise. Did they really acknowledge her as the queen of the underworld? Or was this one peculiarly zealous? She didn't know but made sure to keep the information so she could ask Pride later-

DOYA: another holiday season

Oya grinned as she looked at her ring. It was simple yet beautiful and to her eyes, it symbolized her relationship with Dean the best. They were both quite rough on the edges but together, they managed to soften a bit their edges so they wouldn't hurt each other and would find a bit of peace while together. She could still picture her childhood friends Sarah and her brother Joshua's faces when she told them that she got married to Dean Winchester. It wasn't so much who she got married to but the fact she decided to get married. After years of lamenting about marriage and how pointless it was to get hitched, her marriage to Dean came out as a surprise. Sarah and Joshua welcomed the news with open arms. It was a step in the right direction, according to Sarah. Right because after claiming she didn't feel anything and couldn't love again, here was Oya, in love and married. Of course, the siblings made fun of their friend, gently so, in a way to show her that her heart wasn't as dry as she thought it was and it wasn't as cold as she believed it to be. 

The holidays this year would be special because Kira texted her to wish her a happy birthday. hearing from her step-daughter had been quite a shock but a pleasant one and Oya had been so happy that the young woman remembered her and decided to contact her. It brought her a lot of warmth. Those holidays were special as well because  Dean had decided to take them on a little honeymoon of some sort. They were supposed not to go hunting (but could still intervene if anything happened on their watch) and since they were in a more relaxed mood, it would be easier for Oya to make a little something for the two of them. She already bought a little plastic Christmas tree that would just need to be put on a table or even the bed of their hotel room. She decided to go shopping for their presents. One she would mail to the PO address next to the MOL bunker for Sam and one she would summon Castiel to get while keeping tabs on Hell and Heaven. She found the present for Castiel (she asked for a woodcarver to carve a plaque with the Winchester symbol and motto and the names of Team Free Will, so he could look at it wherever he was. For Sam, she managed to find an album of Vincent Vincente, the last one he released and even managed to have him record a vocal message for Dean on her phone. She then went and engraved it in a CD he could put in the car he drives. 

For Dean, she was still looking for a gift but knew it was a matter of time before she found it. They would have pizza, apple pies, and beer as a meal and they would sing together, dance together, and eventually have a night to remember.  A quick glance at her ring made Oya grin again and she quickly opened the door of their empty hotel room. Dean was out and this would give her the perfect opportunity to hide the presents until it was time to send the presents. Needless to say, she was excited about this year's holidays. It didn't matter how far away from the rest of the family she was, Oya would always manage to make the holidays special. 

TB: Christmas wish

Sara was nervously chewing at the tip of her pen. Her mind has been buzzing ever since the end of November. December was one of the favorite months of the singer because of the holidays taking place. She enjoyed Christmas more than anything and wanted to celebrate this year. It was not a coincidence since this year she met Homelander -John- and Ryan his son and quickly enough, the two of them became her family. She knew it was going very fast, she was being way too fast for her own sake but could she really shake the desire to actually have a relationship with  Homelander and his son? As per usual, when under pressure, the supe started to tuck her hair behind her ears. She anticipated rejection from Homelander, and he would be right to deny her because their relationship was so young and he didn't want to subject his son to another debacle like it was with Stormfront. Could she blame him? Ryan had no say in this situation, Stormfront decided to act like his mother and didn't acknowledge the presence of Becca, Ryan's mother. She was a nazi piece of shit who propped Homelander as the poster boy of her rancid ideology and Ryan was just forced to deal with it too. Sara was different. 

She built a relationship with the young boy, one where she was not a surrogate mother nor did she want to erase this relationship from existence. The boy had, unlike her, a parent who genuinely loved him and did her best to protect him. She was the mother Sara wished she had, and a model to follow rather than to try and snuff from his memory. Sara was a friend to Ryan, an adult who understood what it was to become an orphan and to navigate the troubled waters of self-hatred and a desire for more. She understood him, to some extent of course, and she was willing to scold him if there was a need for him and "parent" him because the child still needed a structure. She was ready to be this active in the life of this child and to treat him like she wished she was by her own parents. Funny, wasn't it?  All her life, Sara had wanted to have a family of her own, people to love and to be loved by them. She thought she had it with Tara and later on with Brett but they weren't interested in having a family. They didn't want to give her the space to make dinner and decorate her apartment in the spirit of the holidays and it made her grow frustrated as time went by.  Now that they were out of her life, Sara felt the urge to genuinely and unapologetically celebrate the holidays with the people she loved. 

Still, the idea that she might be rejected stressed her out and she couldn't bring herself to write to Homelander. If she had a request to make, she would have to make it face to face and risk being rejected in her face. It was scary, but it was necessary and Sara was willing to try her luck and to try and convince him. Homelander, as far as she knew, had never really celebrated the holidays. She saw ads and commercials but it was all PR. He never actually spent time with his "so-called" family. He never enjoyed the holidays as they were supposed to be, a moment to gather as a family and to love one another. She had already made lists of gifts she could buy or make for the boys and had already thought about several menus she would suggest. It had to be a family tradition and it had to involve the three of them. Yet, no matter how positively she envisioned the moment she would request it, Sara felt the knot in the pit of her stomach grow bigger and bigger to the point of forcing her to stop pacing around and put her hand on her stomach. If Dotty knew what she was up to, she would have scolded her protegée so hard, that Sara would have turned 7 again.  She would have advised against making something like this in fear of Homelander losing his mind but Sara knew better. She knew her baby. She knew he wouldn't hurt her and would not reject a chance at being a family with her. All she had to do was to prepare her speech and reassure him. Everything would be fine! 

Everything should be fine!

GOT regular: suffocation

 The princess was walking in circles, she could feel her breathing become more erratic as time went by. She felt unwell, stressed out to be more precise. Her hand stroked her belly in an attempt to soothe herself but it didn't work, so she resumed walking in circles, in the hope to finally control her breathing.  Bäahal felt trapped and felt that she was suffocating. How could she willingly enter a room full of people who hated the man she loved and pretend that she had everything under control? How could she protect her beloved to the best of her abilities if she wasn't able to cross the door? The herald looked at her with empathy in his eyes, as he could see his princess lose her composure and worry. He learned a long time ago not to interfere in royal affairs so he didn't move, he didn't speak, he simply waited for the princess to gather herself and turn around to look at him again.

It took a while but she finally managed to calm her breathing. The princess wondered why introducing Jaime Lannister as her consort was making her so anxious given the horrors she endured in the past. She saw the worst humanity had to offer and survived. Back in those days, it was her mother's dream of freedom that kept her alive. She wanted to be free so her mother's sacrifice would not be in vain. She wanted to be free so Pain and Suffering would not define her life. She endured so many outrages, whether physical or mental, and always came on top of everything. Why would this be different? A lot was at stake, while before she only had to care about her own survival and was willing to be punished should she fail, it wasn't the same situation. Today, she was a princess and the fate of her sister depended on her decisions. Each and every action she would make would be scrutinized and criticized by the noble houses, so she had to be careful. Perhaps the weight of her situation was finally being felt and that was why she was suffocating. 

Loving Jaime was never just for herself. Loving Jaime and taking him as a consort would inevitably have an impact on her sister's power and influence. Jaime knew it, Daenerys knew it and still, they couldn't refuse the princess' only wish. They couldn't look her in the eyes and doom her to a life of suffering, not after all she sacrificed to try and be happy. They relented and now here she was, suffocating on her anxiety and trying to gather herself up so she would assume her duties as a princess. Jaime was the most hated man of Westeros, this much wasn't a secret and she knew that the rest of the world would do anything in their power to see him fall. They would perceive his betrothal to be a way for him to escape judgement and they would do anything in their power to bring him down. She would never allow it, especially not when she decided to interweave their destinies together. She would fight for him, defend him, and show to the world Jaime as she saw him. Determined, she stopped pacing around and turned to face the Herald. She would walk past those doors and would meet the world with a newfound resolve. 

-TBC-

got (modern) She couldn't afford to lose her -Dany x Baahal-

Daenerys tapped her fingers against the wooden table of her office desk. She had not heard from Bäahal in a while and was panicking. Their relationship had genuinely improved, and she was happy about it. For once, they could have normal conversations that didn't end in tears and screams. For once, they could share a meal without being at each other's throats. For once, she was given enough space to think about what she did to her sister over the years. Perhaps she owed it to Jon Stark, who actually showed her what healthy relationships with your siblings were. He encouraged her to make amends with her sister and try to get to know her better. Little by little, she stopped seeing her as a burden to carry and more as a person to actually get to know.  

This made her reflect upon the things she did to her sister. She ignored her at times and turned a blind eye to the pain she felt and the violence their brother, Viserys, inflicted upon her. Daenerys indulged in violence as well. Unlike Viserys' physical violence, Daenerys' was mostly psychological. She would hurl insults at her, would force Bäahal to remain financially dependent on her, and would treat Bäahal like a stain in the family. With hindsight, it was clear as day that she carried the guilt and rage of both her parents. Rhaella hated Bäahal, not the child herself, but what she embodied. Every time she looked at Bäahal, she saw her husband's infidelity. She felt like salt was rubbed on an open wound every time she looked at that other child and took it as an insult to be forced to welcome her into the family and pretend that she had always belonged there.  

Aerys' guilt was overwhelming. he messed up with both of his families. He couldn't bring himself to leave Rhaella for Sunni because he didn't want to break his family apart but he also didn't want to stop seeing Sunni because he was in love with her.  He felt a duty to both and because he refused to make a decision, everyone ended up suffering. It was easier to hate on Bâahal than to love her and for more than a decade, Daenerys did everything in her power to keep her sister on a leash. She even went as far as to break a relationship she had with a young dornish heir by buying his loyalty. He didn't hesitate and dumped Bäahal with such quickness that it made Daenerys nauseous.  She bought her sister's heartbreak and that wasn't the only thing she did to hurt the silver heiress. She used her for a deal with Bronn and sold her body for some piece of land to repeat what Bäahal accused her of.  Before Jon, it didn't bother her.  Now that he had opened her eyes to the reality of what she did, she felt disgusted with herself. 

How could she repair her relationship with her sister? How could Bäahal trust her again if she ever learned that she bought her breakup? Daenerys was worried about losing the budding loving relationship between the two of them because of her actions. She was worried about losing her sister for good. It sent her shivers down her spine and she grabbed her phone to look at the latest texts they exchanged lately. The conversation was nice, trivial even, they were planning a dinner together and Bäahal insisted on cooking something for the two of them. Daenerys' lips trembled and she put the phone against her chest. No one should ever know what happened and she made sure to remind the dornish prince to always keep his mouth shut lest he wanted to feel her wrath but she knew she couldn't control people to such an extent. Sooner or later the truth would be revealed and Dany didn't want it to blow up in her face. 

She couldn't afford to lose her..

She couldn't. 

Phoenix (Dragon) -Plagued by Dreams

Dreams of burning this whole world into ashes plagued the princess' nights. She yearned to breathe fire and was desperate for the freedom to assume her dragon form again.  The situation was dire and she knew that it would be ill-advised to reveal her dragon form (and the dragon blood in her veins) when everything and everyone wanted to either bind Dragons to their will or erase them from existence. So she had to wait. She had to yearn. She had to endure.

Lucretia - How did it feel?

How did it feel to be the last of one's kind? How did it feel to know that there would never be another being like you? 

Despair. 

That was how it felt to know that you were the only one who could keep the culture alive. That with your death, there would be nothing but legends, rumors, and in the worst case, nothingness.

Lucretia wanted to join her people in death. She wanted to die and be comforted in joining the spirits of those who went before her. She wanted to but also felt the desire to protect and preserve what was left of her culture and her people. She wanted to honor the dead and decided that if she survived, it was her duty to keep the memories of her people still alive. 

Still... 

She felt despair. 

She felt a hole that didn't grow smaller with time. 

She felt alone. 

She was alone.

COPG: Life and Death of Ayasha: Aftermath of the death of Jupiter

 "Could you feel it, Ayasha?"

The stern voice of Gaea echoed through the walls of the Prima Donna. She appeared out of thin air, in front of Ayasha who was sitting at the fountain. Despite her attempts at locating her sister, the goddess of knowledge was not able to locate her. The only explanation she had was that Pride found a way to cast a spell that constantly kept her cloaked from her Eye, but how could he achieve such a feat? His magic was powerful, but to cast a cloaking spell that covered the whole Earth was a feat unheard of. Ayasha was so deep in her panic that she didn't even think about the possibility that Elpis was carrying a magical object that allowed her to remain cloaked while walking the mortal realm. Instead, what she did feel was the death of Jupiter and that concerned the goddess because she had an idea of who killed the god. 

"I felt it, mother. I felt the death of Jupiter."

"You're livid. I thought it was to be expected that no inferior god would be a match to your sister."

"Did you come here to gloat, mother? How easy it must be for you to walk around and laugh at my attempts to save our lives when you do nothing for us!" She pointed out. Gaea wrinkled her nose and she crossed her arms above her chest.- 

"Watch your tongue, child."

A brief flash of light crossed Ayasha's eyes and she clenched her fists as a biting tongue to stop her from talking back to her mother. The golden goddess put her hand against her chest and she tried to regulate her breathing.  Gaea was upset. Flowers started to grow through the concrete at her feet. Ayasha picked it up and focused on it to rile her mother up some more.

"Or what, Mother?" -She lifted a brow and tilted her head to the side, allowing some of her blonde strands to fall on her chest- "Are you afraid that it would set things in motion faster than anticipated?"

"No! I don't! I just don't understand why it's taken so long for you to find and deal with Elpis."

"She is well protected! that's why! Her Sin is with her and he is very powerful! Jupiter was supposed to simply tell me where she was. He was supposed not to engage with her because I knew that if he did, she would have killed him. He couldn't stop himself from talking to her.

"Elpis is vindictive. If anything, it is one of her fatal flaws. She is relentless when it comes to punishing those who wronged her. Jupiter beat her to an inch of her life a long time ago. Did you think that she would have forgotten about it?" - Gaea chuckled. She wanted to laugh at her daughter's lack of hindsight.-

"I did not. I assumed that he would be clever enough not to engage with her and just tell me that he spotted her. I guess I underestimated the male ego."

"No. You overestimated yourself. " -She lifted her upper lip and walked closer to her daughter- "I think that you should instead help your brother preparing the war. There is no way to avoid the war so we should try to focus on it instead of trying to locate her." -She then crossed her arms above her chest-

Ayasha blinked, ready to throw venom at her mother but found herself unable to. Gaea was right,  no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't find Elpis and it was indeed wasting her time to try and locate her. Deep down, Ayasha knew that she was terrified of a confrontation with her sister. She was terrified of death and the end of her existence as was Gaea but instead of being honest with herself, she hid behind schemes and plots so she wouldn't have to articulate her thoughts and face her fears. her mother caught her at her most vulnerable and for the first time in a while, she couldn't reply. She had no comeback, nothing to say to her mother, and was just left speechless. 

"That's what I thought. Ayasha, if we put our head where it matters, we should come out of this victorious."

Would they? Ayasha desperately needed to believe her mother. She desperately needed to be comforted and she couldn't hold herself back and threw herself at her mother's feet. Gaea looked at her daughter and shook her head. Ayasha cried and whispered demands for forgiveness. Gaea grinned and asked her daughter to rise so she would see her face and she wrapped her arms around her frame to pull her into a hug. Gaea was delighted to see that Ayasha's mind was broken and she could use it for her own benefit and she would.  She would. 

Doya: shorts -About Thanksgiving.-

 With Thanksgiving around the corner, all I can say is that I am grateful for you. I am grateful for your presence in my life. I am grateful for Team Free Will. I am grateful  for everything we've lived together for nearly a decade now.

xxx

Here comes the holiday season. I hold onto some of these because they remind me of those I lost. I hold onto some of these because while I don't remember faces and voices anymore, I can still remember my feelings. Still.. we don't like the holidays in our house unless we spend them doing our job.

COLBY: I don't know how to tell you

 Sometimes words get stuck at the back of our throat and I would look at you, and you would look at me, and silence would settle in between the two of us. 

Sometimes, I don't know how to tell you that I love you and because I do, I am ready to sacrifice everything so you could be happy. I don't know how to tell you that I am very aware that you can't be satisfied with the life you lead because you will always seek more. You will always...always... be on the move because you can't handle settling down. 

This is who you are, a black stallion. This is who I love. The gangster, the soldier, the MP, and the Father. This is you...who I love and while I can't always articulate the way you make me feel... I can still look into your blue eyes and let you know.

HOTD: confronting Aemond part 3: what to expect?

How can you still love me after I've done?"

He was self-aware of the very person he became. He decided that it was out of necessity and that remorse couldn't be allowed in his heart. Aemond convinced himself that he did it for his family, for his people, and his realm but deep down, he knew that these were nothing but words in the wind. Ceryse told him that power had corrupted his soul, that she didn't recognize the man she used to know and love and he met her words with contempt and silence. That was until their last conversation where he almost hit her as her words felt like venomous knives thrown at him. Bitter truth he refused to acknowledge until the half-blind Velaryion reminded him of what he had become. 

He expected Ceryse to leave him, to be so disgusted by the man he was that she would refuse to associate with him any longer. He expected her to spit in his face and tell him that she would give up and let his grandsire do whatever he wanted to do with her. What was the point in fighting when she was effectively without any ally left? Still.... Still... She didn't leave him. Still, she was there, cupping his face and looking at him with a warm and loving gaze instead of contempt and hatred.  Still, she claimed that she loved him despite everything that had happened. Still, she refused to leave his side, even when her very life was at risk.  Aemond's purple eye softened its gaze and he bent a bit forward to plant a kiss on her lips. He repeated his question, this time in a whisper. 

"We do not choose who we love. My heart beats for you and I know your heart. I know your heart...." -She then closed her eyes and put her other hand on his chest.- "However, I see that you're losing control and I cannot sit and watch you destroy yourself and everything that you are and love. Please. Please....don't get lost in the depend."

SoA: I am ready to kick him out of my life!

It took me years to recover from the pain he inflicted on me. It took me years to recover and become myself again. He thought he had destroyed me. He thought he had hurt me to the point that there was nothing left behind but he was wrong. So wrong!  I finally found a place I can call home and a friend I can call family. I finally found peace in my life, and joy to the point that I forgot about his very existence. 

I found my place in Charming, with Maya and I would be damned if I had to leave again and hit the road. I would be damned if I had to look past my shoulders because I am worried about him. I am ready, I think, to kick him out of my life forever. 

Gabriel Starmaker: Letter from Michael

My dear sister, 

I cannot hide the anger I felt upon discovering you deserted the Silver City.  You ran away without any notice, or without giving us the chance to have a mature conversation, and for what? 

Raphael told me that you didn't approve of the way your brothers and I are dealing with Humanity and demons but you never even debated with us. 

I can see how my words were misinterpreted and how it ruffled some feathers when I said that father wasn't speaking to you anymore and you shouldn't try to speak as if you still were.

Come back at once. I think you have spent enough time throwing your tantrum and you should return to our home so you could explain why you ran from our united front and why you're sowing division.

I care for you, sister. I care for you deeply and I would like to see you again. I miss you dearly, so be reasonable and come home.

Your brother Michael,

Ruler of Heaven. 

Leona- Anna (trivia)

Anna tries to convince Leona that it would be best if she doesn't try to take on her whole former tribe. A werewolf without a pack is at its weakest no matter how powerful they are. Leona was powerful, but not enough to be able to reclaim her power.

She was one of the first to welcome the woman in her tribe, quickly forming a bond with her and seeing through the mist of anger suffocating her. Leona admits that without Anna, she would have been stranded and perhaps dead after she ran from her Uncle and the rest of her pack.

Anna holds a comfortable position in her tribe, as she is the healer and her pack trusts her. She knows that with time, Leona's natural leadership could sway her people to her cause and help the princess reclaim her throne. But does she want it?

TB headcanon: She doesn't like when he's hurt

Sara doesn't like to see her when her baby is hurt. She is willing to go to great lengths to either help him feel better or destroy whoever made him feel that way. 

Obviously, it doesn't mean that she would risk her life and face the boys for example. She wouldn't put herself in danger, at least not willingly, because she's still a scaredy-cat and still very passionate about surviving. 

But if she can confront the person and read them to filth? oh, count her in!

Klasma: A covenless witch

 Covens... 

How long had it been since Nëela had a coven? Centuries, yes centuries since she was cursed. A coven was to a witch what a family was for a human: Vital.  The witch had a coven when she was born. Her parents were her first coven, and they belonged to an actual coven of witches that felt like an extended family to the young witch. She grew up loved, cared for... and protected, up until Klaus went on a killing rampage and slaughtered her whole family and almost all of her coven. The survivors took her under their wings and helped in her upbringing. She still had a coven. They still taught her the ropes of being a witch and she excelled in the task. She was a quick learner and she managed to quickly prove to be powerful and knowledgeable.  Despite the loss of her parents, Nëela never felt alone because her coven was with her day and night, all year long. She always had doors opened for her, sabbaths celebrated together, and a sense of belonging that gave her a meaningful life. 

It was unnatural for a witch to live without a coven...

What went wrong? She helped Elijah Mikaelson protect his family. In her mind, she didn't do anything wrong. She simply repaid her debt to the Original who saved her life several years ago. It was always taught to her that no good deed should go unrewarded and for Nëela, saving another's life was her way to reward the good action that led to saving her life. Still, the witches of her coven didn't agree with her because she helped the enemy. Witches from her coven decided to punish her the best way they knew. They would grant her immortality but in doing so, would strip her away from her right to a family, to a coven, and to meaningful and deep connections. They essentially cursed her to a life of pain and solitude, which were the worst things to happen to a witch. A life without companions. A life without a family... A life spent in pain. 

It was the worst punishment a witch could get, to become covenless...

It hurt, to watch these young witches talk about their covens with excitement and pride and to be unable to join them. It hurt, to witness them celebrate Samhain and dance in the full moon with fellow witches. It hurt...To see them be embraced by their peers and willingly share across covens what they knew. It was a painful reminder of what was lost and what could never be recovered. Nëela was banished from existing covens and could never ever enjoy the joys of fraternizing with fellow witches. She would never be able to find comfort in the arms of her kind and would never be able to make her own coven because she was cursed to be hated by all. So what was left for her? She was to walk the Earth for all eternity, unable to form a coven of her choosing. 

Yet here she was, the Cursed one!

Here she was, the Covenless witch!

TB: Bonding with Ryan again.

 As soon as Ryan saw Sara he ran to her and gave her a big hug. He was happy to see the older woman who offered to take him on a date so they could bond and eat ice cream. Homelander dropped his son at her apartment in the morning and informed the pair he would come back when he wouldn't be needed at work. They kissed briefly before he flew off to the tower. She then turned to look at Ryan who was already staring at the pictures scattered around the apartment. He noticed that there were very few pictures of Sara as a child or with her family. He saw the one she took with Dotty at the swimming pool and pointed at it while looking at Sara. 

"It's the only picture of you with someone."

"I don't have a lot of pictures I like." She replied earnestly. - "But it's not really the question you wanted to ask, is it?" -He shook his head and walked to the kitchen counter.- "Go ahead. Ask me what you really want to ask."

"Why don't you have a picture of your family?" 

Sara smiled and gently walked towards the fridge. She grabbed some ice cream and put a couple scoops in two bowls. She didn't expect to be asked a soul-piercing question so early in the morning and was wondering how she was going to respond to him. She had to be honest, to answer truthfully because Ryan would not appreciate being lied to. She didn't want to hide that part of herself either but was afraid of how she would talk about it. She pinched her lips together and slowly put the bowls on the kitchen counter. She then went and grabbed some spoons. She handed the spoons and sat on the stools at the kitchen table.

"It's a long and not-so-nice story, Ryan. Are you sure you want to know?"

"yeah. I want to know."

"Well....My parents always told me that my powers were a gift from god. I didn't know any better because I was just a 5-year-old girl. They were very stern and cold parents to me. When I didn't perform well, they punished me very very hard." -She paused for a second and then took a deep breath- "it felt like a prison rather than a family. I grew up without having friends and because I became the sole breadwinner of the family, I had to work hard every day and earn money for my family."

"They never celebrated your birthday?"

"They only did it once, when I was 5 years old. Most of the time they left me at my aunt's place and with my cousins while they spent the money I earned for them. My cousins hated me, so I always came home with bruises and wounds but my parents never cared for this." -She took a spoonful of ice cream and ate some, while Ryan mimicked her and took some too.-

 Sara's voice started to crack as she told her story. She didn't want him to see her lose her composure or try and dig deeper into her past. Being truthful and clinical seemed to be the way to go as it allowed the supe to tell her story without feeling like crumbling down. Ryan was perceptive, he realized that it was hurting Sara to remember her past but before he could tell her to stop if she didn't feel like it, she resumed talking. 

"Then, when I was 15 they were murdered. Back in the day, we didn't know who did it, but rumors had it that they had wronged Vaught. I learned not so long ago that it was true. Mom stole from Vaught the Compound V that gave me my powers. Nobody in my family wanted to take me in, thinking I was the child of the devil, so I went to an orphanage and stayed there until I turned 18 and met Dotty, the blonde woman in the picture you saw on my fridge." She then furrowed her brows- "That is why I don't have any picture of my family." She then gave a faint smile at Ryan who nodded quickly. 

"It sucks..."

"It sure does! But hey, I'm alive!" -She grinned and gently reached out to his head so she could stroke it gently. Ryan gave her a crooked smile and resumed eating his ice cream- "And I'm with you today, so more reasons to be happy. I have been wondering, do you think that you'd like it if we took a picture with your dad? I've been wondering if this was a good idea, you know?"

"I'd like to have a picture, an actual picture, and not some PR stunt! If we took one, where would you put it? On your fridge?" -She shook her head- "You're going to frame it?" -She nodded and he grinned- "Cool!"

"Cool!" -Sara grinned and then looked at her fridge. She understood why the child would have asked her about the lack of family pictures. She never really thought about it before, about the lack of candid shots that showed she had an active and happy private life. Sure, she didn't have her family, but she had been in relationships before, she had a life before...And nothing to show for it. Her black eyes moved from left to right and she furrowed her brows.- "Ryan. Be honest with me. Did you ask to come here or was it your dad?"

"I asked to come. I wanted to spend the day with you. Why?"

"I'm happy you chose to be with me. I can be a little boring though. There's no video games here. I read mostly. I also cook, and I watch TV."

"It's okay. I don't like boring. What do you like to read?"

He was laid back,  far more than she thought he would be for a teenager his age. She tucked some hair behind her ear and gave him a sheepish smile while he kept eating his ice cream. Her fingers tapped against the marble table and she licked her bottom lip. Well, she liked to read fantasy books and romance and sometimes she bought books because she was petty and wanted to laugh, like the Deep's books. She chuckled and pointed at the book that was still on the couch she was sitting on moments earlier.

"I like fantasy and romance, but these days I am laughing at the Deep's biography. He sucks and his book sucks even more." She then leaned her cheeks against the warm palm of her right hand and smiled at Ryan who smiled back at her. He didn't have a definitive opinion on the Deep, mostly because he didn't spend much time with him but he knew that his father hated the supe with all of his guts. He knew that a lot of people didn't like the Deep so it wasn't a surprise to see that Sara laughed at him.- "Maybe we could read it together today and we can have a good laugh?"

"We could! or maybe I could ask you some more questions about your family?"

"Only if I can ask you one about yours!" -He nodded and took another spoonful of ice cream- "Alright. What do you want to know?"

"Well... How did it feel when your parents died? Now that you're a megastar, did your family try to reach out to you? And...Who is your family today?"

"You really pull no punches, do you? mmmhhh, let's see. I was the one who found my parents' bodies. I was scared, but I also felt relieved that they were dead. I was old enough to realize that my parents never loved me and only saw me as a tool for them to use as they saw fit. I didn't like it. I didn't like it at all. I wanted to have parents, people who were supposed to love me, people who were supposed to care for me... instead, I got people who hated me and wanted to use me. So at first, I was shocked. I cried for them. I was scared that whoever did this would try to come for me. But then... I simply sighed and it felt better. I felt warm. I was free! Does that make me look like a monster to you?"

"No. I got it. I understand. They were never your parents, they just brought you into this world but they never were your parents."

"yes..." -She replied, wiping a rogue tear that fell down her cheeks- "As for your second question. My Aunt and cousins tried to reach out to me. Recently. At first, they wanted to undermine me and my success. They called me the devil on TV, they got paid to tell the press about my past and the tabloids loved them for that. Recently, my aunt became very sick so they decided they would try to bully me into giving them money. I refused. I'm not giving them a cent."

"I'm glad they can't hurt you anymore." -He said while taking another spoonful of ice.-

"They will still try and I am sure they will get creative but I am not afraid anymore. I'm not alone." -She then paused for a moment, so she could eat a little bit of ice cream- "And to answer your last question. Dotty is like a mother to me. I consider her like my family and for a while she was the only family I had but then I met your dad and I met you." She then cupped his cheek. "And if you want to be my family, I would be very happy." -He blushed and gave her a crooked smile- "Do you want me to be part of your family?"

"You're...You're pretty cool yeah." -He said, still sheepishly smiling. She understood that he was being coy and didn't insist.- "I know you care about my dad and I know you care about me too. I can feel it." -He added, his blue eyes now set upon the older woman.- "And it feels good to know that."

"Yeah? I have been wondering...Do you... Does your mom have a grave? I was thinking that maybe you would like to visit it sometime and talk to her?" -She watched him stiffen at the mention of his mother and his face darkened a little.-

"I don't want to go to her grave. I don't want to see it! She's dead, Sara! She's dead and I killed her! You said you were a monster, but I am a monster! I am a monster!" -He yelled-

Sara realized that she pushed the wrong buttons on this child and shook her head. She stood up and immediately wrapped her arms around his shoulders to press his head against her heart. He was just a child, he didn't kill his mother on purpose, how could he think that he was a monster when he was far from it? She pressed a kiss to his forehead and then cupped both of his cheeks. 

"You're not a monster, Ryan! You're not a monster! if anything, you're a wonderful kid, okay?! I know you feel responsible for your mom's death but you aren't responsible for it. The adults in your life, Vaught, the boys..even your mom put her life on the line. She knew the risks and she wanted to protect you, what happened wasn't your fault and I refuse to let you think otherwise." She held him so tight in her arms that the child couldn't help but cry. He held onto her and cried harder. "I know you miss her. I know you miss her. I'm so sorry."

He didn't speak but he nodded and Sara knew that he was listening to her.  Her heart broke for the child because unlike her, he had a family that he lost and was missing. She couldn't relate to it but was well aware of how heartbreaking it was to lose someone they cared about. She wanted to protect Ryan and found out that it pained her to see this child hurt. Could it be that she was genuinely attached to the kid? Of course, she was! Of course, she was!

Colby: Telling him about Alfie

 "Come again, Mary! Who talked to you?"

Mary stopped herself mid-sentence as she didn't expect Tommy to interrupt her in the middle of her monologue. He was livid and held his chin with his large hand, making her blink several times.  She put her brush on her vanity desk and turned around to face the gangster who had put the newspaper he was reading on the night desk. The gangster stood up and ran his hand over his face while Mary tilted her head to the side, confused about Tom's reaction to her story. Why was he restless all of a sudden? 

"What's going on? Did I say something bad?" -He shook his head- "I was telling you about my encounter this afternoon. Ultimately, we didn't agree on anything and he left. I refused his offer. Did I do wrong?"

"No. No Mary you didn't do anything wrong. Please, tell me again what was his name?"

"Alfie... Alfie Solomons. Tom...What's going on?" 

As she confirmed what he heard the first time, Tommy Shelby's face became even paler. He couldn't fathom that his woman had been in contact with one of his frenemies. Could he consider Alfie like a friend? They have been associated and they fought against common enemies in the past. He had betrayed him several times and nearly cost him his life and the lives of his brothers. Alfie couldn't be trusted and while Tommy and the man had some level of respect for each other, he couldn't possibly be happy to learn that he snuck into the institute, managed to isolate his Mary, and went as far as threatening her. He didn't call her slurs, which would have meant to anger the Peaky Blinder but he still threatened her. Tom pointed his finger at Mary, looking for something to say to her without alarming the woman. They weren't enemies at the time being and Alfie did compliment Mary on her level-headed judgement. Still, he figured out that Tommy loved this woman, and that put a target on her back. 

"Tom! Stop pacing around at once and tell me what's going on. Do you know that man?"

Tom stopped and put his hands on his waist. Mary stood up and walked to The Shelby who clenched his jaw. He didn't want to scare Mary and it bothered him that he had to throw her into the violence of his world. For years the family agreed that it would be best if she knew nothing about their business. The less she knew, the less she was in danger. For years it worked and she had been able to stay safe and keep her beautiful soul. He didn't want to ruin it but Alfie forced his hand and he was left lowering his head. Mary furrowed her brows and gently cupped his cheek. She lifted his head so she could stare at his face and ran her hand over his hair. 

"Alfie Solomons is a very dangerous man, Mary. We... did business together and he's not really someone I trust. He had no right to come to you and threaten you. He had no right to come and put you in danger."

"Do you think he would have killed me at the institute?" -He shook his head- "Then, why are you scared?"

"It's the possibility that you could have been hurt. It's the possibility that you could have been used against me. It's the fact you were thrown into a world I wanted to protect you from." 

He cupped her cheeks with both hands and gently lifted her head so he could set his blue eyes on her green orbs. Mary's eyes shifted from left to right and dropped her hands so she could hold onto his shirt. She didn't like to see a worried Tom, especially now that the event had happened and he couldn't do anything about it. He couldn't change the outcome, he couldn't prevent Alfie from meeting Mary and he definitely couldn't keep his own feelings for the woman from his "friend".  She blinked for a moment before he ended up sneaking her arms around her frame and pulled her into a hug. She wrapped her arms around his frame and kept him tightly held against her.

"I see. It's alright! I'm fine! I didn't realize that you knew the man but I assumed he wanted to reach out to you. Somehow."

"And it worked. I will find him and tell him to never step foot at the institute ever again. I will make sure he leaves you alone and...I will tell you to keep you out of his business."

He would have a conversation with the man, and perhaps, knowing Alfie, they would strike a deal to ensure Mary's protection. He didn't want to admit that Alfie managed to circumvent the presence of the peaky protection he put in the institute and if he managed to do it, Tom's enemies would also manage to do it and he couldn't have it. Tom relished in Mary's scent, the little notes of vanilla filled his nostrils and he felt reassured to be able to hold his woman in his arms. For a brief moment, he relived the death of Grace, the fact she was killed by a bullet meant for him. He had always feared putting Mary in the same danger of losing her life and he refused to face his feelings for her for fear of going through another loss. She could tell that he was afraid. Tommy was rarely pale like death so to see him turn so livid was enough for her to try and comfort him. Her hand stroked his back at a slow pace and she pressed kisses to his shoulders. 

She was fine. 

She was fine. 

She was scared.

-TBC-

Colby: His wanderlust

 Mary's discomfort about his prolonged absences. He knew that she embraced him as he was, with his secrets, with his wanderlust, with his PTSD. He knew that she would not leave his side, regardless of her own desires but he wasn't so blind that he didn't see how much it was hurting her. 

Mary was left behind by every people she needed in her life. Her own mother abandoned her. The nuns who raised her never comforted her. Her own husband, once he made her work for both of them, never met her needs. And her own son died in her arms thirty minutes after his birth. Tommy did his best, he really did his best so she wouldn't feel lonely but it didn't work the way he wanted it to. He still left her to satisfy his need for wanderlust. And she never complained. 

But he could see it in her eyes. The hurt. The sadness. The disappointment and the exhaustion. He could see it in her eyes and he tried to make amends. He tried his best but deep down he believed that he didn't do enough. He believed he could never do enough.

GOT shorts about mornings and fatherhood

 When Bäahal saw Jaime with a baby nephew, the only thought she had at this moment was to see him become a dad. The dad of their children. She hasn't expressed her thoughts just yet but it's just a matter of time.

xxx

My favourite smile is the one he has in the early hours of the day. It is when I realize how lucky I am that he loves me and how I don't want to change this life for anything in the world. I love him. I love you, Jaime.

klasma: Julius x Neela

Julius could still smell his witch on his hand. She might have left him and his werewolf pack, he knew that it was only a matter of time before they ran into each other again.  As a former roman general, Julius craved power more than anything. He resented being turned into a werewolf 2000 years ago, but he quickly learned to embrace his new condition. As a witch, she was extremely powerful, and while he lusted after her uncanny beauty and dreamed of the day he could make her his, it was her power that turned him on the most. 

The fact she needed him  was enticing because he could have complete control over her. The fact she listened to him and was impressed with his ancient knowledge and refined behaviour made him feel larger than life. Nëela was something he needed. She was something he desired and yet, she left. Her magic proved to be far stronger than any manipulation from him. Her determination to ensure her safety was stronger than any threat he could have delivered. She used her magic to bind him and mask her presence and after so long he couldn't find her. 

He could still smell his witch on his hand and he  wanted to take her back. He heard she was back in Mystic Falls but this time she wasn't travelling alone. There was the infamous Hybrid in her company but it didn't scare the werewolf. Why would he? He had crushed vampires with his bare hands in his life and he had destroyed werewolves as well. Why should he be worried about a hybrid? He hated the idea of another pair of hands touching his witch and another pair of lips whispering in her ear. He didn't want another one to control her power and he wanted to find her again, put his hands again on her, manipulate the witch again. he would find her. He would!