Matt ran his fingers through Hayley's hair. It felt surreal, there in the comfort of her bedroom. He enjoyed her calm and steady heartbeats. She was content in this moment, curled up against him. Her right hand was cupping his cheek, and her thumb was slowly stroking his stubbled cheek. Her soft skin was warm against his, and he leaned into her touch. Matt felt her gaze on him. Hayley was intently staring at him, but he felt that she was comfortable with him. It felt as if they were a couple, both enjoying each other's company. This moment felt like a bubble of fresh air, as if Fisk wasn't terrorizing the city and stoking the flames of hatred and paranoia. It felt like a bubble of fresh air, as if he were not going through a nasty breakup with Heather. He was falling in love with that woman, and she decided to rip his heart apart. Well... Could he fully blame her?
He lied to her when he hid Daredevil away from her. He lied to her when he pretended he was fine when everything was fucking off around him. Still... She chose Fisk. She chose to go on a crusade against Daredevil. She chose to paint everyone under the same brush, maybe even going as far as considering Daredevil responsible for the creation of vigilantes and villains in town. Matt rejected her thesis. He refused to accept that his very existence brought all those lunatics and damaged people here... He was not the first and would definitely not be the last, so why did she decide to crucify him like that? It broke something in Matt, but Hayley's hand on his cheek soothed his aching heart. She brought him back to the present, to that room, to her, and he smiled at her.
"I don't want to leave the bed, Matt."
" I don't want either. It's good... This.... This is good, Lee."
She moved closer to his frame and rubbed her nose against the crook of his neck. Her arm wrapped around his waist, and her cheek pressed against the hard skin of his shoulder. Matt wrapped his arm around her shoulder and pulled her into a tighter hug. He could feel her warm breath brush against his skin, and he smiled. It was comfortable here, with her. He kissed the top of her head and let his fingers sink into the soft flesh of the young woman. He knew that he could not stay there for more than one day. He had so much to do at night, as Daredevil and Matt Murdock were still missing, so staying here was putting her in danger. She felt the conflict that was tormenting him and slowly lifted her head to have a better look at Daredevil.
"A penny for your thoughts, Matt."
"I'm not used to mornings like this one. Few people know about my double identity, and you might be the second one who actually doesn't judge me for being Daredevil."
"Why would I judge you? Did you forget? I beat up abusive spouses on my downtime." -She chuckled and lost her fingers in his black mane- "I could say the very same about you. You are the first person who knows the truth about me, and you are still here. Many would have left."
"I guess I am not afraid."
He was used to it. Elektra was the best and worst thing to have happened to him. She knew Matt, knew Daredevil, and understood both of them. She loved Daredevil more than she did Matt, and she always brought the worst impulses out of him. Elektra was intense, perhaps too suffocating. Being together with her was thrilling, unexpected, and always kept Matt on edge. He was attracted to it, to that darker side of himself she embodied. Here, with Hayley, things were different. There was peace. There was warmth and an understanding that he could never get from anyone before her.
"Me neither. " She smiled at him and gently rubbed her nose against his chest- "I think we should just get some questions out of the way, shall we?"
"Right now? I wanted to keep the good memories of the night alive." -He grinned, and she hit his chest with her palm-
"Who said we won't come back to that? I just suggest that we put that conversation behind us... Ask me anything. I will answer truthfully." -She planted a kiss on his pec, and he took a deep breath-
"Were you raised by the H.A.N.D? "
"Yes. They took me in as a baby and raised me to become an assassin. Your turn." -He nodded- "When were you trained by Stick?"
It surprised him. Matt expected Hayley to ask him questions about his blindness. Everybody wanted to know whether he was born blind or had become one. Everybody wanted to know what happened to him and how he managed to survive all these years. Instead, she wanted to know how he knew Stick. That made him grin, and he stroked his chin.
"I was a kid. My dad had just died. He took me from the orphanage and became my guardian."
"Given the way you speak of him, I would say he's more of a father figure. He raised you."
"He trained me." -He tilted his head to the side- "He raised me."
"It's complicated. I get it." -She planted another kiss to Matt's shoulder and nuzzled his neck- "I both hated and loved my mentor. They were ruthless, but I learned how to defend myself, and how to protect those I love, at least that is what I want to remember." -Matt kissed the top of her head again-
"How did you leave the H.A.N.D?" -He wasn't sure it was the right question to ask.-
He wanted to know how she could walk the streets of Hell's Kitchen freely. The H.A.N.D would have chased after, and he suspected that it was still the case. Usually, when you joined it, you could not leave it. Elektra did not fully leave the H.A.N.D somehow, she was still tethered to it. He felt her stiffen against his frame, and she hid her face against his chest.
"One day, I decided that I did not want to be a pawn anymore. I did not want to serve someone else's interests. I wanted to live for myself. I wanted to be... myself." -He held her closer to his frame and stroked her back- " They are looking for me. I have to be careful and look past my shoulders. Always."
"Did they find you here?" -She shook her head and sank her fingers into the taut flesh of his chest- "If you need me, I'll be there."
" Yeah.... Thanks...Were you in love with Heather?" -The question took him by surprise.-
He did not answer as fast as he wanted. He could not. Did he love Heather? Yes, he did. He fell for her, and that was why her choice to side with Fisk hurt him more than he wanted to admit. He loved her, but she betrayed him, and while that love could not vanish with a snap of his fingers, Matt was not thinking about her when Hayley was in his arms. She pulled away from his chest and narrowed her gaze as he was taking too long to answer.
"I... I was. Yeah.. I loved her. I thought she was going to be Mrs Right, but I was not being fully transparent with her. I was being Daredevil behind her back. It could not last."
"You are trying to reason here... My question was simple..." -She sighed and pulled away from him so she could pull herself up by the hands and hover a little bit above him- " Were you in love with Heather?"
"Yes. I was.... Still am." - He reluctantly whispered. It did not hurt Hayley as she was expecting Matt to still be in love with his girlfriend. She knew, through her conversations with Heather, that it was something serious. They both loved each other, and both felt wronged by the other. She knew now that the relationship was not going to work, but feelings did not end just because a situation ended.-
"It is not going to change that easily. You don't fall out of love with a snap of a finger. You will love her for a long time. I... We...." -He put his forefinger to her mouth and smiled at her-
"Did you ever fall in love with someone?" -Why did he want to know? It made him wince at his own cringe.-
She blushed and sucked on her bottom lip. Well, did she? Being in the organization had not allowed the young woman the chance to live a full-blown romance. She had flings, yes. She even had favourites. People she fell in love with? No... Yes! She fell in love once. No. It did not last long. It could not last long. A melancholic expression tainted her features, and she tucked her hair behind her ear. He cupped her cheek and gently stroked it with his thumb.
"I did.... Once. It is just... it was a folly on my part. I fell in love with a civilian, and for two months, I was in a little bubble. It was just impossible for us to be together because of my... because of who I am." -It would not happen with him. She wanted to tell him, but the words got stuck at the back of her throat-
She sat on the bed, crossed her legs, and folded her arms. Matt sat as well and held onto her shoulder. He could feel how nervous and heartbroken she was. She leaned into his touch and put her hand over his. He slowly moved his hand from her shoulder to her neck. He did not want her to retreat into her own mind, to feel that she should be upset because she had to be vulnerable.
"We don't choose who we fall in love with. Hell, I was in a relationship with an anti-vigilante shrink while hiding the fact that I was Daredevil. Delusional much?" -He gave her a sheepish chuckle, and she chuckled back.-
He was right. She fell in love with that man, wanted to have a normal life, but nothing about her was normal. How could it be normal when she was an assassin? It made her sigh, and she swallowed a lump. Perhaps she should not read too much into this relationship. Perhaps she should not expect much from it... Perhaps... Perhaps..... Matt pulled her into a kiss, a soft one, full of promises. They talked about the hardest topic, at least for the time being. He wanted to put her fears to rest. He wanted to show her that it was okay to just be in the moment. And little by little, she melted in his arms. Little by little, she felt whole again.
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