Chronicles of the Primeval gods: life and Death of Ishtar: A violent promise.

Ayasha appeared in front of the All-Father, upset as she had just witnessed the death of their older brother. She could care less about the life of Leviathan, he never truly mattered to her, he still didn't. No, what happened was that Elpis was going to be free. It only was a matter of time, a time so short compared to a thousand years that it felt it was going to happen at the next breathe she would take. Fear was a very unsettling feeling to experience. It was crippling Ayasha and literally making her suffocate. Ishtar didn't need to hear her say the words. He felt Leviathan's death. He knew his brother was gone and he already knew that his sister will emerge very soon, breaking her curse for all eternity. All he didn't know was how Leviathan was defeated. He stood up from his throne and walked towards his sister and wrapped one powerful arm around her waist to keep her standing.

«How? »

« The sin... He has a god-killer sword. » -She simply whispered before she wrapped her arms around Ishtar's shoulders and leaned her head against his chest. The sin had a weapon capable of killing a god? It changed everything. They used to look down on Hades' creations because they always thought of them as meaningless. Gods carried the weapons capable of killing other gods. Sins couldn't, even though their influence could impact said-gods. That was the common story, the knowledge they all shared. With this new element and Leviathan's death to support Ayasha's claim, the sins weren't to be trifled with anymore. They were to be taken seriously. « I should have known. I have been visited by a black butterfly some times ago. I should have known he would have died. »

« You trusted him to finish a job I couldn't finish. Elpis is going to be free because of my inability to kill her. » -

« Can you kill her? » -Ayasha's green eyes set upon the god who stiffened at her question.-

Could he kill Elpis? He didn't want her to be free and yet he felt a familiar tingle in his heart. He knew how betrayed she felt when he stabbed her in the heart and how angry she was at him. Hatred replaced the love she felt for her older brother because she trusted him with her life, only to be disappointed by him. But he still held onto the hope that after so long, she wouldn't feel this vengeful and maybe, perhaps, she would forgive him. Maybe she would help put an end to this madness, make the civil war stop. Maybe, after she spent time with the sin would she realize that he was no prince charming and she should come back home? No. She wouldn't come back and he knew it. Ishtar still held onto that silly dream of his sister coming back home and fixing the mess he forced upon his own people when he cursed her. But Elpis was in love with the Sin and she swore she would never stop feeling this way for him. She would never be his and the god knew it. Ayasha realized he was hesitant and furrowed her brows, her thinly-veiled rage noticeable in her eyes.

« Brother mine... Can you kill Elpis or are you dooming us to oblivion? Speak now so I might know. »

« Ayasha... » She pushed him off of her and crossed her arms over her chest. « You don't get to question me. I promised you that I will kill her and the sin. I will. » He spoke with renewed rage. What a fool he had been. Elpis didn't love him and she never will. Better get rid of her since he couldn't have her.

« You better keep your promise. Elpis is out for blood. You have seen her before, I can feel her clearly. She is out...for blood. You should stop it. »

« I will. »

-TBC-

chronicles of Lux and Tenebrae: The Alpha and the Omega

CHRONICLES OF LUX AND TENEBRAE: The Alpha and the Omega

A/ N: Welp. I'm still hell-bent on finishing this story, so here we are.

Xxxxx

It was a moment of truth. At long last, the three horsemen of Apocalypse were able to face the progenies of their sworn enemies. Death betrayed them a long time ago when he fell for Life and together they banished the Horsemen to the Vanishing Point. They allowed humans to survive and thrive in a world that didn't belong to them and because they did, the three horsemen decided to patiently wait for the seal to be broken. It took some time, so much so that they didn't remember how long it had been since they last roamed the Earth. It didn't quite matter for only their revenge and hatred did. They couldn't kill Death nor Death could kill them for they were eternal, but they could kill their offsprings. They did kill Lux once so seeing her alive and well took them by surprise. It wasn't supposed to happen. It wasn't supposed to be, but it was.

It was a moment of truth. Noises of divine metal against divine metal filled the air. Swords were swung, shields were used for protection. Spells were cast. Darkness fought the Void and the Light. The prince and the princess held their own pretty well, especially the princess since she was still deprived of her power and still couldn't remember what happened when Life's realm was attacked. They were waiting for an opportunity to hold their hands and cast the spell that would force the horsemen back to the Vanishing Point but it wasn't coming. So Tenebrae decided to change his strategy. The prince used his control over the void to teleport the princess away from him, forcing the Horsemen to split. It was a dangerous move because Lux' chances to die increased but it was a risk to take. Pestilence went against her while War and Famine took on Tenebrae. She held on her own quite well, sustained some injuries but was able to protect herself from the god and study him enough to anticipate his next move. 

She learned fast, moved even faster and it gave her an edge on Pestilence up until she jumped on the side to avoid an attack and he sent decaying tentacles to wrap around her waist and pull her closer to him. She used her glaive to cut the tentacle but knew that falling might cause her severe injuries given how high she was. Her screams alerted the prince who quickly assessed the situation. She was falling and Pestilence was still at a reasonable distance from her. He could teleport and reach out to her and he should take that opportunity. War almost impaled the prince but he acted fast enough to teleport. He caught the princess in mid-air and entwined his fingers with her. He then summoned a compact black energy shield around them.

« Together, at last, we banish thee to... » All three deities were attacking the shield, causing tremendous pain to the Prince who winced and forced himself to maintain the shield. « Lux... »

« Tenebrae, you're bleeding! » She said, cupping his cheek.

« I can hold it. Let's finish it! » He said in a growl. She noticed that the shield started to crack and the ray of light pierced through the darkness. She nodded. « Together at last. » Tenebrae joined her. « We banish thee to them. » The shield broke, making the prince scream and bleed from the ears and the nose, as the attacks were too powerful for him to contain. Lux held onto him as they started to fall. « We banish thee to the... Come on... Tenebrae... We can do this. » He groaned and used his powers to teleport them to the ground so they wouldn't crash and hurt themselves. They rolled and Lux ended up on top of him. « I got you. I got you... » She knew the deities would attack but decided to protect him nonetheless. 

Lux smiled at the prince as he painfully opened his eyes again. He was still dizzy from the attack they sustained, so much so that he didn't notice the sword that went through Lux' stomach. He didn't notice Pestilence, War, and Famine ready to end the two of them. Tenebrae watched in horror as her blood splashed on his face and grabbed her by the shoulders and pushed her towards him. He teleported them away from the deities and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. « Lux... Lux, please... » He stroked her cheek and put some of her black strands off of her face. The shock of the stabbing kept her awake, her eyes were wide open. Lux was shaking from head to toe. She anticipated the attack and somehow it did protect her, at least long enough for her to complete the ritual. She coughed some blood and held onto his hands. « Lux, Come on... Lux !! »

« We have to finish... » She whispered, coughing some blood. «Now. » He nodded and planted a kiss on her forehead while he tightened his hold onto her hand. « Together at last... » The began with. « ...we banish thee to the Vanishing Point. »

Their hands started to glow with an orange light and only now was Tenebrae aware of the presence of the three horsemen who were ready to kill the two heirs in one strike. He saw the tip of their swords near his face, his back, and her chest. He saw that just one second more and they would have been dead. Lux coughed some more blood, soiling her armor with her divine blood but she held onto him as tight as she could. The horsemen screamed, « NO ! » they protested and tried to escape from being pulled back into the vanishing point. A large portal opened and sucked the deities into it. The noise that existed before ended and only the two lovers were left behind. With a prince in distress and a seemingly dying princess. It couldn't be the end, now could it?

-TBC-

got: Love

There is nothing more dangerous than a puppy that realized it was a dragon all along. Someone said to her that true character shines through in a time of need. Bäahal's thirst for Life and freedom drove her for most of her life. Through the humiliation, the violence and the dehumanization she had to endure because she was a slave, she showed she was resilient and discovered a strength she didn't think she had. It truly was the fall of the old Masters of Mereen that became the catalyst for the woman's transformation. She clawed her way out of slavery with the help of her childhood friend, Missandei who introduced her to the queen and trusted her with the rest of the silver queen's followers. It truly was the forced outing of her true lineage to Daenerys that forced Bäahal into accepting the truth. She was a half-breed Targaryen and was given a chance to start over, have a family, by embracing her sister. She could have left and run away, she could have rejected it all together. After all, Aerys might have fathered her, she still was the product of a hostile and heinous act. She still feared to be like her father and look too much like him. She admired her mother for loving her despite the circumstances of her birth... Love drove her mother. It was the love she had for Bäahal that led her to her death when she was caught trying to smuggle the girl out of Mereen. It was Love that fueled Bäahal's dreams of freedom and had her try her best to survive in such a hostile environment. It took her this far, at the door of War. There is a saying about true character showing in a moment of truth when everything is hopeless. The loss of Viserion shook the princess to the core, but it fueled her anger and her desire for revenge. Yet again, a product of Love. When she lost her dragon, she realized she could lose those she came to love as well: Jon snow, her nephew, and Daenerys, her sister. Missandei her best friend and each and every one of those who followed the queen and who earned her respect. From the Dothraki to the Unsullied. From Tyrion to Lord Varys... Every single one of them. It was love, that made her consider Death. Dying because she would have protected her sister would be the most honorable thing she would have done. It would wash away the sin of her birth, it would wash away the lives lost because of her. It would give her purpose, meaning...something to justify her existence and the fact she survived for so long. It would justify the love she still somehow, refused to accept. the one towards her. The one people felt. She didn't feel worthy of that attention, not yet, not until she had proven to herself that she was, indeed, someone and not something. Not until she had embraced her own humanity, her own desires and hopes, and dreams...But this was difficult, perhaps, the worst she ever had to do. Love herself. But she was dangerous and like Lord Varys said, a puppy turned into a dragon.

COPG this isn't a goodbye

"This isn't a goodbye, This is a new beginning.

We knew from the beginning that it would not have been the story of a lifetime, but just a moment between the two of us. It would have been you, looking after me until you could save the goddess I hosted within me. It would have been me, enduring you being absent for a very long period of time, enduring solitude, enduring the inner conflict within me. It would have been me fighting against the goddess who wanted nothing more but to tear me apart for being close to you... closer even.

This isn't a goodbye, this is a new beginning. I know you will wipe my mind the minute I fall asleep. I know we're on borrowed time here but I made peace with it, with not being able to remember you. Truth to be told, this might have been the most merciful act you've ever done and if I was the one who made you act kindly towards a human, then you are capable of being so much more than just evil. My initial assessment of you wasn't that wrong. I can take it proudly, even if I won't be the one to notice it.

We're on borrowed time, so that means, tonight it's all about you and me. It's all about us and the smiles and the grins and the moans and the shivers you send down my spines. It's all about closing this story so you can begin a new one. A better-suited one with a better-suited mate.

I wish I could say I would never forget you, but I'd be lying. I wish I could say I would forever carry you with me, but I'd be lying. I know, however, that somehow, I will be a different person now that Hope has returned to our plane of existence and you... you, my love, awoke.

This is not a goodbye, this is a new beginning. A new one for you and for me but tonight, it's all about now. about us. So let's celebrate."

allow yourself to be loved!

Quote of the day: "There's got to be a moment when you realize that you should allow yourself to be loved." <--- Brought to you by my sweet-sweet David. S.

I personally think he must be hitting his head against the wall because it's not the first time he said that lol. But you're right, boo. There is "building walls around your heart" to make sure you're not getting hurt as bad as you have been before and there is "I'm running away from people who love me or potentially can" because you can't fathom the possibility that someone actually cares about you. I can't speak for everyone, I can only speak for some with a traumatic and violent past, someone who would be caught dead with a knife rather than accept other people positive feelings for them. Because it stems from various fears. Fear of not being enough, fear of being too much, fear of being abandoned, fear of being deceived, fear of being unable to return those feelings because we don't feel worthy of them. the list can get longer or shorter, it depends on people and where they are at life.

It is even more upsetting because it does follow you around, even when you have turned your life for the better. Even when you escaped from the cycle of abuse, surrounded yourself with trusting and loving friends, plucked out the negative people from your life...it still follows you like the plague. it's crippling at times, overwhelming too because you can't really enjoy your relationships as they are because there is this little voice in your head anticipating the end. But don't worry, talking usually helps clear the mind and appease the soul. Talking truly is the best for those of us with anxiety issues because it does defuse a lot of bombs and it helps us see our reality better. So say, you're better now with better friends but romantic love still is a big issue.

What then?

Then you have people like David, who will remind you that, you can't possibly cut yourself off of romance, especially when you want some and when you're ready for it. You can't wait for the perfect significant other to happen because love (and life) is messy and unexpected. It never goes the way you want it to and sometimes it's actually better. Love, for a control freak like me, is something very difficult to allow because there is little to no control you can have. there is little one can do but just feel and this is it, this is the nail the hammer has to hit: You (we) have to allow yourself to feel.

So let's try this.

GoT: silence

GoT: Silence

A/ N: This is just me musing around. It's not happened (save for Viserion's death and Bäahal's reaction to it) but I wanted to put it into context with terrible Jaimie when he would act less terrible actually:p Oh yeah, you didn't know? I'm a heartbreak specialist!

xxx xxx

Silence...She only remembered the deafening silence that filled the air after Viserion was hit by the Night King's Javelin. The princess heard the sound of the wheezing winter winds as she fell. She couldn't see clearly what was happening but before it all faded to black, the huge shadow drawn by Viserion's body vanished from the sky. She didn't hear the loud noise made by his corpse as it hit the ground, nor did she heard the ice break under his weight and the lake swallow him whole. She couldn't hear anything. She couldn't see anything, it all just faded to black. But she knew. From the moment the Night King hit Viserion, she knew he would not survive. Her heart stopped beating at this exact moment, her leg was impaled along with Viserion but the dragon's struggle against his wound broke the ice javelin and allowed for her to fall. In a way, he cared for her until the end by tossing her body off of him as he fell to his death. She fancied this idea, the idea that he didn't die in vain.

Bäahal never mourned for Viserion's death. She didn't cry when a distraught Daenerys told her what happened after Drogon caught her mid-air. All the princess saw was the red face of her crying sister, trying her best to keep her composure while delivering the news to a still injured Bäahal. The leg was recovering just fine, she could still walk, so it was not important to the former slave. Daenerys' lips moved but Bäahal was unable to register her words. The wind carried her words but all she felt was a shiver that never left her spine. She felt cold, she felt...empty. Viserion died and the only thing she could do was hug her sister because she knew it did hurt her more than it could ever hurt Bäahal. Viserion was the queen's son. He was her blood and she lost him. The queen furrowed her brows, still upset at the outcome of the conversation because she realized that Bäahal was just trying to comfort her, instead of allowing herself to be comforted. She tried to reach out to her but it fell on death ears.

Bäahal kept her feelings to herself, unable to unearth them and properly mourn for the loss of her companion. At first, everything went fine, but the more she heard Rhaegal and Drogon shriek, the more she saw them freely fly above her head, the worse she felt. She was missing Viserion, she was missing the sensations she got when she was flying with him, next to Drogon and her sister and Rhaegal. Her fingers still remembered the sensation of his scales against her fingertips, the warmth of his breath over her skin. She thought that maybe she would be able to avenge him if she rode Rhaegal but he chose Jon Snow and it added some cracks on the shell she built around her heart. Today was perhaps the worst. She had never attended a council meeting because it never was something she enjoyed. She wasn't made for sitting around and listening to people discussing tactics and strategy. They all were talking, Grey worm, Lord Tyrion, Jaime, Jon, Daenerys.

They were all blabbing about the Night King when she heard it for the first time: The Night King tear down the wall with the help of the undead Viserion. All of a sudden, the words Daenerys told her back at the Wall surfaced and she realized that Viserion wasn't even allowed to know peace. Drogon flew above their heads at this exact moment and his familiar shrieking sound was enough to make her stand up and leave the room in a hurry. Jon wanted to stop her, but they couldn't just interrupt their council so he decided to let her be. Intrigued, Jaime asked about the princess once the meeting was over and Tyrion simply explained that she never was comfortable with councils and meetings. His worried tone, however, achieved to tease Jaime's curiosity so he decided to find the princess and have a conversation with her. He found her upstairs, outside. She was shaking because of the snow and the biting cold. As he drew closer to her, she drew her dagger out of her sleeve and relaxed as she realized it was the most hated man of Winterfell who happened to be at the same place as she was.

« Is this a habit of yours to run away from meetings? »

Her blood boiled at the sight of him. She couldn't truly explain why he would make her feel this way, why he would lit that fire in her eyes but he did. She suspected that it might have been the name -He was a Lannister- or the fact he was Cersei's twin brother. Her hatred for Cersei truly boiled down to one thing and one thing only: She not only tried to kill her sister several times and almost succeeded, she also was the wife of the man who slaughtered Daenerys family. She was the mother of the King who slaughtered Jon's family and she didn't keep her promise to put aside their hatred to fight a common enemy. She and her rotten family caused the two people she devoted her life to, a great amount of pain and suffering. It was enough for her to want them dead, all of them... Except for Tyrion.

«Did you walk all this way to insult me, Lord Jaime? » -Her purple gaze burning with a thinly veiled rage but her voice betrayed her emotion. It had cracks in it as if she was on the verge of crying.-

«It wasn't my intention, princess. You left the council very abruptly and if I recall, we did hear your sister's dragons shriek and flap their wings moments ago. » -She became as stiff as a rock and looked away from him, down so she would focus on his sister training with Ser Bronn.-

« I see you pay attention to details... It's a good thing you still have good eyes, they can compensate for your lack of hands. » -She spat back, angry and flustered-

Her fingers clenched and she put her dagger back into her sleeve. Jaime was used to being insulted, especially since he lost a hand so it flew above his head. He noticed she wasn't looking at Drogon who clearly was flying just above them. She was wincing at the sound of its voice, and he realized she was holding back tears. It started to make sense in his head. She was mourning for the third dragon, the one that was slain by the Night King. It had not been a long time since the hand of Queen Cersei had joined the North but he did watch Daenerys interact with her dragons and noticed her close bond with them.

« Tyrion told me you also possess the Dragon blood. » He bluntly said, forcing her to look at him with her eyes wide open. For a brief minute, he thought she would jump on him and try and kill him but she didn't move. She just shook. « I believe I understand why you left the room. »

« And what do you know? What can you possibly know and understand? » Her voice wanted to sound biting and spiteful but she couldn't hide the cracks in it. She recoiled at the corner of the balcony, unable to find a place to hide so she tried to keep a strong and cold face. It would have worked if she wasn't so upset, instead, it only revealed that she was shaking even more and was fighting against her tears.

« I know what loss is. » -Was all he could say. At this very moment,-

Jaime knew about Loss for he did lose all the people he cared about. His children were all dead, from the unhinged Joeffrey to the sweet Mircella. He buried his mother and his father. He almost buried Tyrion. Kyra, Tyrion, and Cersei were the only members of his family he had left and he would cling to any chance to keep them alive, regardless of how problematic they might be. He had the chance to mourn for Joeffrey and Mircella, not so much for Tommen due to the chaos that reigned. At least, they buried their children, they buried their parents and he had a chance to be at peace knowing they were protected by the seven gods. At least. Bäahal hated him more than anything.. not because he was a Lannister or her enemy...no. She hated him because he understood. She hated him because he was right. She hated him because he put words to her feelings. She was feeling the weight of Viserion's loss. Still not as fully as she should have, but her shell was cracking and she knew it was coming.

« There was a deafening silence on the day he fell. I was riding him and we were rescuing Jon. Viserion was excited, it was something new for him, a new weather, new enemies...We were winning. Well... I thought we were. » Her voice was soft, almost as if it was a whisper and her eyes became even more vibrant. Jaime noted her foreign and exotic beauty, her features were unusual and yet complimented each other very well. He noted the change of stance, how her shoulders were dropping, her body was giving up bit by bit but he remained at a respectable distance. « And then we were hit by a javelin...And I think he screamed. I don't remember the sound he made, I don't remember the sound he made, or what happened clearly. He...I had my leg impaled by the ice javelin but he flapped his wings and it broke and I fell and...silence...and darkness. I couldn't hear anything else. I didn't even see him...I didn't see... »

She covered her mouth with her warm palm and bit back a sob. Viserion was not just Daenerys' son. He was Bäahal's best friend. Her companion. He chose her on that beach at Dragonstone. He could feel when she was in distress and helped her calm down with his comforting presence. He could feel when she was angry and translated it with his shrieking sounds. He was her protector and so deeply connected with her that she didn't need words. When she had a meltdown because she was frustrated by her inability to open up to Daenerys, he comforted her. And when she informed her sister that she bonded with him, it helped the two get closer. They would ride together, laugh together and bond over the bond she had with one of Daenery's sons. Viserion truly helped Bäahal open up to her sister and allowed Bäahal to feel more and embrace those emotions. Lord Varys warned the princess not to use him as a crutch but he was no such thing. He was her friend...And she lost him.

« Enough! ENOUGH! Stop it Drogon! Go away! » -Drogon shrieked again and that was when Bäahal lost it. She covered her ears.- « ENOUGH!! Please! Stop! »

She ran her hand over her gracile neck, confused as to how to feel, fighting the emotions still. Jaime cleared his throat and walked closer to her.

« I think it's best if you actually embraced the pain, Princess. Ignoring it would make things worse. » -He wasn't judgemental, his tone unlike usual wasn't sarcastic or even distant. He saw she was tormented and while their relationship wasn't stellar, she had not attacked him or threatened his life. From what Tyrion told him about the princess, she was just as fresh at it as he was when he welcomed Tyrion in the family. And she had lost a companion.-

« No..no. I can't. » Her voice trailed off, and she ran her hand over her face. Tears were already rolling onto her cheeks, unable to stop. « I can't...I can't.. »She shook her head and moved from the corner. Bäahal took a few steps forward, and then looked away, anywhere but at Jaime's face. « I can't feel it again... » She had already lost someone she cared about, her mother when she was just a teenager. It devasted her and she swore to never shed a tear and yet, here she was again, years later. It was the dawn of a new war and she realized that she could lose those she cared about: Jon... Her sister, and Missandei.

« You have to, princess. » -Jaime added as he walked closer to the distraught woman. She took a step back as he walked closer and opened his arm. His eyes, his eyes were trustworthy, reassuring even, he meant no harm. As confused as Bäahal was, she still could rely on her sight and instinct and he didn't want to harm her. « You are allowed to feel the way you do. »

« Viserion...Viserion is dead...and he can't even rest in peace. »

She finally said, sobbing. She couldn't help herself but just cried her eyes out. It didn't matter to her how he would perceive her. The tears, the snot, the saliva dripping down her lips as she cried without restraint. She wailed and almost fell because the grief was overwhelming her. Jaime caught her in his arms without saying a word. Now wasn't the time to speak. She needed to cry her heart out and truly grieve for her dragon. Jaime didn't quite know why he did it, Maybe it was seeing the princess so upset mellowed the man enough so he could give her some comfort. Maybe, it was because she agreed to train Kyra that he wanted to return the favour by doing something good. His sister told him that the woman had been nice to her, a good teacher with a clumsy sense of humour. Maybe, just maybe, it was because Jaime saw a glimpse of who she really was -not he distant princess she tried to convince others she was or the emotionless badass she pretended she was- a woman with complex emotions, emotions she still refused to express to some extent. He saw someone who cared deeply for her chosen ones. He saw someone vulnerable and yet strong. He saw a lot of things in Bäahal and for the first time since he had arrived, she had not seen Jaime « the Kingslayer » or Jaime « The lovestruck lion » but just Jaime. A man who simply was there and offered her a shoulder to cry on.

And then, there was yet again another silence but unlike when she lost Viserion, this time, Bäahal could hear the sound of her heart breaking again.

-TBC-

Doya: Mornings

(Doya)

Mornings were usually silent. Dean would always wake up first and unless they were working on a case together, he would spend an extra moment watching Oya sleep. He liked it better when her breathing was steady, her body relaxed and her mind at peace but like everything else, it wasn't the norm and it didn't last long enough. Oya was plagued with nightmares and while sleeping next to him limited the intensity of these, she still didn't sleep well for a good chunk of the night. But the mornings... ah, the mornings.

She would wake up with a smile on her face because he would be the first thing she would see. He would make sure to greet her with a kiss. A simple and easy small gesture that could help the day be less dreadful than it would be for Oya was grumpy in the morning. She would smile and turn around and wrap her arms around his neck so she could kiss his lips. She would lose her hazel eyes into the green of his. She wouldn't say a word because she didn't need any. Her eyes did the talking.

She woke up next to the best person on Earth...Next to the only one she would share her bed with, and who would make her smile like that. How dare he make her smile? How dare he? She wouldn't say a word because she didn't need any and there were days she wished Dean could understand how she felt, how much she cared for him without her having to say a word about it. Maybe he did and she fancied the idea. He was family and because he was, She would always put him, Sam and Castiel before anything else.