2020: work in progress

2020. I always coined it as the year of Change, mostly personal growth and peculiar attention to my mental health. You know, we've always been taught to keep the « negative » feelings at bay, to snuff them before they « got in the way », (By negative, I mean sadness, anger, jealousy, envy, fear and so and so... )

I have noticed how uncomfortable people were to express her emotions, but how worse it was for others who weren't able to welcome those emotions. People would usually urge you to get better, they would want you to move on pretty fast. They wouldn't have the ability to stomach your display of emotions and would do their best not to have to be confronted to it. They avoid them because it mirrors their own emotions they are refusing to show. I'd argue that in this day and age, where everything has to be Instagram-ready, and picture-perfect, imperfection is not allowed. I'd argue that upbringing and the way society responds to emotional breakdowns also play an important rôle in how emotionally constipated people are. « Conceal your emotions », « think of the family reputation », « you cannot be weak ». Those words are still at the back of our heads, forcing us to keep some social etiquette. At least, that is true for me. I've been raised to keep control over the way I felt, always make sure I was as perfect as possible, and it ended up destroying me in the process. But we aren't perfect... we are always trying to get better. That's a lesson I'm still learning today.

2019 saw me struggle a lot more than I am willing to share here. There were a lot of issues at work, a need to break free from that toxic environment, depleting self-worth and a growing desire to self-destruct, again. As many of you know, I, unfortunately, suffer from Mental Illness, including a strong desire to sabotage myself and self-destruct, to put it mildly. Last year truly put me to test, but I was able to keep going thanks to my support system (friends and family) and my very understanding hubby. I'd argue that finding a specialist in traumas also helped since thanks to her, I'm starting to address them. 2020, however, is different. I have tried to express myself a lot more, I am still trying to embrace those « negative » emotions, still trying to accept that I can and should feel these instead of trying to reject them.

It does wonder to one's soul, to embrace the good, the bad and the ugly. It's okay to be afraid, it's okay to be angry, it's okay to be jealous...(please keep in mind I'm only talking about emotions here). It's okay to accept those emotions because it will be easier to deal with them. Once you've acknowledged them, you can go from there and find a way to channel those emotions instead of containing them.

So Yesterday, it was liberating for me to be able to express my feelings, as negative as they were and talk about it. It was liberating to be able to speak them out loud and find healthier ways to deal with them. It's a long journey, part of it comes with self-acceptance, but it's one I am very happy to finally make after all these years.

Stay safe,

SoA: Another Sunday

SoA: Another Sunday

Darling-Teller household, 3 pm, one sunny Sunday :

Winston was noisy that afternoon. He heard the familiar sound of a bike parking before the house. The familiar sound of the inker's voice echoed made him even happier. He wasn't the tallest dog but he surely knew how to welcome those he cared for. As soon as the long shapely legs of the tattoo artist opened the door, the little dog barked at her. He rubbed against her smooth calves and followed her as she strutted to the kitchen. She waved at the guys, nodding quietly at them before she headed towards the fridge. She went to the fridge and picked a bottle of water from it before she grabbed a glass. A slight cough caught her attention and it made her turn her head to the left. Asma expected Half-Sack since he liked to joke around or Juice even but no... it wasn't them. instead, she gasped in surprise as Jessica leaned against the front door and crossed her arms.

« The leather-look suits you, Azzi. » She said with a grin before she walked towards her friend. The pink head chuckled and opened her arms. Winston barked happily and ran around the ladies' legs.

« Come closer. » -She said while she gently pulled Jessica into a tight hug.- « I've missed this. »

« You know you don't have to ask. » -Jessica reminded her before she leaned against the counter. Her blue eyes firmly set upon Asma, who was indeed rocking a leather biker girl look. Her hair was cut short, she was wearing leather pants and a white crop top and black boots were on her feet.- « You never have to when it comes to family. »

« I know... It's kinda difficult to come around, you're busy.. there's Jon... » She stopped for a minute, her eyes closed but she smiled. « The sexy Jon Wick who's spending time here with us. » She grinned and yanked her head back. « I love your new look though. »

« Why, thank you. » Jessica grinned and gently put her hand on Asma's shoulder. « Jon is a good friend, an old friend and someone you—wait a minute. » She blinked several times and looked at the young woman who was holding a little box in her hand. It was a gift, something small. « Is this for me? »

« Do I see someone else here? » Asma said with a chuckle. « I did it myself actually. » She said while she gently pushed the box into Jessica's hands. « Now was the perfect time to give it to you. «  Jessica tucked some hair behind her ear and grabbed the box. It was light, so she was wondering what it actually was. She shook it but it didn't make much noise, which meant it was secured. A light frown crept on her forehead and she pulled the ribbon off. Inside there was a painting Asma did of Jessica and her. The likeness was accurate and the fact they both were hugging each other brought a smile to Jessica's sugary lips.

« It's beautiful! Thank you so much, Azzi. » She said, as she wrapped her arms around her shoulders and pulled her into a tight hug. « I... haven't seen you in ages actually... now that you make me think of it... » She bit her bottom lip and bit her thumb harder. Asma nodded and shrugged.

Yes, they haven't spent enough time together. Aside from the parties thrown when Jax returned from Prison and the Sundays spent with the whole family, she didn't have the opportunity to spend a moment with her sister and she was missing her. She had been for months now. The pink head wasn't upset anymore, despite feeling curious about that Jon and anxious about his presence here. She knew he was here for a reason because Jessica asked for it but she wasn't sure of why exactly he was there and what type of job he really was there for. Asma wanted to ask questions, she wanted to have answers, but she knew none of them would answer her... instead, she took comfort in knowing that both JJ had returned home, she had come to terms with her anger towards the situation. She felt powerless and not knowing where her sister had been hit the inker harder than she expected. She still felt it deep in her heart, like a cut in her heart that never went away but the joy of seeing her sister trumped any stress or issues she could have had. A soft smile graced Asma's features and she nodded quietly.

« It's okay. We have all the time in the world. I came to spend Sunday with you. I was wondering if you could spare me an hour? »

« Absolutely. What do you want to do? »

« I have sex stories to tell you. I am not seeing Tig that much, but the few times we did it are worth being told. » She said in a chuckle before she grabbed the bottle of water and fetched Jessica a glass. « Sit your ass down and let's catch up for real, sis. » She offered the glass, the beautiful brunette eyed, still with a frown. It didn't last long since she was relieved to see Asma in such a good mood. It had been a while and they would be catching up. Today seemed perfect so she said in a sweet tone.

« Okay. »

Elpis and Pride: 2000 years later

Elpis and Pride :

// All the usual disclaimers. 

2000 years later...

Elpis was different from the goddess she used to be 2000 years ago. She still remembered how she was before she met Pride. Naive, devoted to her family and with a curious gaze upon mankind. They groomed her into becoming the obedient little sister whose only motivation was to keep her family happy. She had no real clues of her potential, no real clues of actual love and yet when she met Pride, she fell head over heels for the First Sin. She set herself free from the leash her family put around her neck. She grew in power, explored her true potential and at the same time discovered the power of Love. It sounded cheesy because ultimately, she didn't truly know what true love was. Her sister, the primeval goddess of Love told her that it was « puppy love », nothing but a flame that would be extinguished as soon as the violent reality would crush her reality. That Elpis was bright, she was a pure ray of sunshine filled with the joyful bliss of ignorance and looking back from now, the goddess had a few regrets.

She couldn't see just how wretched her family actually was. How hatred and jealousy filled the hearts of those she loved deeply. The coup against her beloved father hurt the goddess, but not as much as the death of her loyal and loving siblings or the fact her brother and sister cursed her for 2000 years. None of them understood what Pride was... or eventually, their fear was justified and she was the delusional one. Either way, they betrayed her and for 2000 years, the goddess suffered. Now that she was free, and the thirst for revenge was overwhelming her, Elpis realized that she was nothing like the young goddess she used to be. She was stronger. It wasn't just a matter of power, she was able to conceive the fact her own family was trying to get rid of her. She was able to see that this new version of Pride was a different one, a better one. She also was able to recognize true love as she fell in love with Pride. It was a conscious choice she made, one where she knew who he really was and still wanted to be with him. She wanted her Sin to rule the Universe and she wanted to rule with him.

Yet, as the goddess watched her reflection on the window, she traced it with her forefinger. Did she shine as bright as the younger version of herself? She could feel the fire burning inside of her and the desire to be more than what and who she used to be, but was she still bright? Vengeance was still part of her, from the moment the Sumerian gods disrespected the all-father, she acted upon her desire to make them beg and ask for forgiveness. Vengeance never left her but did it truly change her? Her eyes glowed brightly as she kept tracing her fingers on the glass. The sudden doubt that crept into her heart was brushed off as she looked at the determined face she looked at. The goddess before her was shining even more than she did before. She didn't need to regret not being the naive goddess she used to be because she became someone better. She grew into a woman who went through Hell and came back stronger. However, she refused to let anger overwhelm her too much. She refused to have her heart filled with hatred and anger and turn into her siblings. The goddess of Hope was worth something more. She was better than them, she deserved more and she would have more. She sighed softly as she felt familiar arms wrap around her frame and pull her against a strong torso. She blinked and bit her bottom lip as she realized it was Pride. Her worries could wait, at least for the night.

-Jaime x Bäahal : A friend for me.-

-Jaime x Bäahal: A friend for me.-

Early morning at Casterly Rock,

the silver princess quietly opened her eyes and stared at the rich ceiling of her bedroom. As her body awoke, she felt the sting of the wound she had on the side of her torso. It was still recovering and she needed to rest. She wiggled her toes and stretched on the comfortable mattress. Aside from that wound on the side, the other minor wounds had healed by now, which was a comforting thought. As her purple hues noticed the sculpted lions at the corner of the ceiling, more coherent thoughts crossed her mind. Lord Jaime answered her prayer and rescued her from a botched assassination attempt. He watched after her, day and night until he couldn't do otherwise but tend to the city needs. For days he prayed the gods, wished for her to recover and kept her company and while she couldn't possibly remember what happened after she passed out, knowing that in such a situation she wasn't alone warmed her heart.

The princess sat on the bed and held her nightgown between her exhausted fingers. It was clear that she had not fully recovered her strength. Starvation had weakened her body to the point that she couldn't walk long distances or for too long. She had to take breaks and sit but most importantly feed in order to become stronger. The situation forced her to be patient and to plan things ahead. Her conversation with Jaime highlighted the fact it would certainly not be a single attempt but instead, peçople would try and get to her again and again and again until she was done. Someone wanted her dead and it certainly wasn't just Gregory, that traitorous guard. Someone wanted to get at her sister and that was something she wouldn't let happen. Jaime knew what he was doing, he took the bet that being given the choice to either rest or protect her sister, The dragon princess would do her best to protect her sister. It was the motivation she had, after all, the one she always had from the moment Daenerys rescued her from Mereen and she realized she had a sibling.

Protecting Daenerys was something, but she couldn't achieve her goal if she didn't fully recover. As she stood up and went to take a bath, the princess looked at her frame. She did lose weight, dramatically so and while she hated her reflection because it was the visual evidence of the trauma she suffered from, lord Jaime didn't. He didn't. His reassuring words echoed through her mind. It made her blush and bit her bottom lip. It didn't change who she was.. except, maybe it did. Bäahal noticed the way she acted around a crowd. She didn't trust people, except for Lady Kyra and the Golden Lion. Both were her friends...yes... friends! As she realized it, the silver-haired princess felt her heart beat faster.

She used to have one friend in the whole world when she was still a slave. Missandei, when their masters met, brought light to the darkness her life was. Unfortunately, as soon as Daenerys sat on the throne, Torgho Nudho and Missandei left to live their own life. Missandei left Bäahal behind -for her own good- but before she knew it, the silver princess realized she had made actual new friends. People who were supposed to be enemies became her closest friends. They were people she trusted, people who talked with her and who saw Bâahal for who she really was. But in the midst of such trouble, she had friends.

The thought was comforting and it was enough to bring a smile to her lips. She would go and see him. She would talk to the Knight this morning because all the cells in her body wanted to see him. She remembered his hug, she remembered his warm and strong arms wrapped around her frame as she kept him closer to her. She remembered how good he smelled and how much safe he made her feel. She needed to see him thank him properly, about her rescue and about the support he kept giving her continually. She had to see him. He was her friend. He was all she needed right now. 

-TBC-

-DOYA: A brand new day-

-DOYA: A brand new day-

A/N: All the usual disclaimers

Oya rolled on her side and gently leaned her head against Dean's chest. She let her fingers run over his chest, drawing invisible arabesques on his warm skin while she looked at him with an intense hazel gaze. He wasn't sleeping that morning, already awake because of a nightmare he had that night. He wasn't sleeping because the mere thought of losing her, plagued the hunter. After all this time, why would Oya stay? Dean survived last Thanksgiving, he survived last Christmas and even survived Oya not being around for several weeks. However, the idea of being alone still haunted him and he still couldn't sleep knowing she would some morning wake up and decide she didn't want to be with him. There would be plenty of reasons for her to leave him, one of these would be his tendency to sacrifice himself for the greater good. ». He had done it lately, nearly sacrificed his life to protect humanity and they had a long conversation about how and why she refused to let him do this very thing.

Ever since Dean had the same recurring nightmare. Oya was leaving him because she couldn't « take it anymore ». He could barely admit that waking up to her soothed his heart. She stayed with him and made this decision every single day. Dean let his fingers run through her hair. He gently pressed his lips to her forehead. She let her hand brush over his toned belly and looked at the ceiling of their room.  Her head was filled with their conversation and the fact she nearly lost him. She was afraid and she felt her heart nearly broke when she thought he would go through with his plan. Fortunately for them, he didn't and instead decided to talk to her. Yes... talk. He wasn't given much choice anyway, Oya being Oya, she started the conversation and refused to stop until they talked about the elephant in the room. It didn't take long before she managed to make Dean speak his mind. They weren't good with words, but that night they talked like they never did before. Both opened their hearts and allowed the other to see just how desperate they were not to lose the other.

He gently stroked her hair, losing his fingers into her thick black locks and massaged her scalp. Her hazel eyes studied his tense features. He wanted to comfort her but he wasn't relaxed, so she pushed herself a little further up and leaned onto her left arm. Her other hand stroked his cheek and she smiled at him. She wanted to focus on the good thing they had. He was there. She was there and that was all that mattered. She rubbed her nose against his and pressed her lips to his as gently as she could. His emerald eyes glanced at her and his free hand cupped her cheek. Her heart was racing, just as it did when she realized she grew attached to him for the very first time. Her smile eased her features as she could see how he felt by the way he was looking at her. His concerned and troubled mind was soothed because she was with him and her warm body. The first thing he saw when he looked at her was the smile she had on her lips. His heart beat faster and a soft smile crept on his lips since hers was so infectious. It was a new day and she was by his side, as she said she would always be.

What more could he ask for?

MOET: A light int he dark

MOET: A light int he dark 

A/N uncertain times, lead to anxiety.

XXXX

I have always dreamed of a cookie perfect future, where I would have it together.

I kept burdening my shoulders with an unnecessary weight over the years.

And as expected, I ended up being overwhelmed and disappointed.

How could I not be, when I was the one to set the bar so high?

I thought my life had only meant when I « became » something.

The dreams I tried to fulfilled and the goals I tried to achieve were not realistic.

The pressure I put on myself was so strong that it ended up suffocating me.

And when my future slipped through my fingers and, I didn't reach my goals?

I crumbled.

What was the point of my life if I wasn't able to « become » who I wanted to be?

If I didn't correct my imperfection and snapped those picture-perfect moments of my life?

What was I if not a fraud? What was I, if not unhappy?

I forgot how it was to enjoy my life the way it was. I forgot how it was to be me.

I couldn't tell if it was time convincing me that I was nothing, or the constant failures that did it.

The air became suffocating and I couldn't breathe. That's what happened since my dreams.shattered.

I couldn't move forward, I couldn't breathe and I lost myself into the darkness that was my life.

There was nothing left but darkness, so I decided to drift away until it swallowed me whole... until...

Light pierced through the dark.

Love came to me, victorious already. I could feel its warm light embraces my dried-out heart.

I could feel it destroy the darkness that surrounded me and bathe me in its righteous light.

It embraced me, comforted me and like a mother to a crying child, it cradled me.

« You're more than enough » she whispered to me and like a child, I ended up weeping.

Jaime and Bäahal: a light int he dark

Jaime and Bäahal: A Light in the Dark

A/N: I am having so much fun with these two. <3 I literally can't wait to see what comes next:D So, I picked a moment we didn't write, to catch up on here. Finally, Jaime and Bäahal have reunited again.

Xxxxx

The princess watched as her caretaker helped her put her dress on. Since she woke up, Bäahal took the time to think of what happened since the siege. She learned that as soon as Ser Jaime arrived, he slew her enemies and immediately looked for her. He wouldn't give up until he found her. She was told he was relieved when they found her and pushed soldiers away in order to be the first to enter her room. From the moment he rescued her, he had never left her unless he couldn't do otherwise. Knowing that the knight had been watching upon her had comforted the Targaryen. Seeing him soothed her mind because she knew she wasn't alone anymore. In a world where she couldn't trust anything, there was a man she trusted with her life. The only person who wasn't her sister or Nephew she knew didn't want to hurt her. It felt as if she had been drowning and finally was able to take the first breath.

Her heart raced as memories flashed before her. She remembered the terror she felt during the worst moments of the siege, the sheer panic attacks she felt at the mere idea of not being able to protect the innocent lives in the castle. She remembered the awful stench of shit and tears as soon as no available water was there for them to wash a little. She remembered her hunger, clawing at her guts as time went by and despair creeping into her heart when she realized that maybe nobody would come to her rescue. The princess was terrified. She had been through a lot already, from the war against the night king where she fought for the living, to the « Last war » against Cersei where she fought for her sister. She now had to face betrayal and the mental breakdown that followed.

While she remained calm, the princess couldn't help herself but think everyone was a traitor. She was tense from the moment the caretaker helped her wash, to the moment she got her dressed but remained silent and observing. It hurt her pride to see that she became the very person she used to be before she set herself free. She felt like the fearful slave who wasn't able to trust people and was unable to see a future for herself. It hurt her pride because she wasn't strong anymore, or so she thought. It hurt her pride, to see what she became. Tears filled her eyes as she stared at her reflection. She was so thin that she didn't recognize herself in the mirror. The purple eyes stared at the mirror and bit at her bottom lip. The caretaker looked up at her and gently stroked her hair off of her face.

« You are still beautiful, princess. » -Was she? Her heart was saying otherwise. She wiped her tears off of her face and shook her head at her words.- « Yes, you are still beautiful. I know you cannot see yourself through my eyes, or through the eyes of Lord Jaime. »

At the mention of the name, the princess blushed and she looked down. Could he think of her the way this woman was telling her he did? Could he still find her beautiful despite the ravaging impact starvation had on her? She wiped her tears off of her face and as the caretaker finished dressing the princess, she smiled at her and invited her to leave the tent. Bäahal smiled and quickly left the tent. The only thing she wanted to do was to find Jaime.

-TBC-

Pride and Elpis: Triumphant

Pride and Elpis: Triumphant

A/N: I’ve been obsessed with this scene ever since I heard the song. This is a perfect Elpis x Pride song and I’ve been thinking of our babies for quite some time now. I miss them a lot, but we’re getting where we want them to be. So, here we go for a little sexy moment, where Pride comes back in all his glory.

xxxxxx

Elpis was laying on her bed. Her long curly pink locks were crowning her face and the white toga, wrapped with golden threads wrapped around her curvaceous body. She had her arms wrapped around her waist and was staring at the rich ceiling above her head. She closed her eyes, bored out of her mind and decided that perhaps that would be the perfect moment for her to venture outside of the castle. Pride had been busy fighting the last war against his siblings and she had not seen him in a long while. He wouldn’t even notice if she had left the confines of her room and explored the realm of the Dead. Her newfound curiosity about the world surrounding her fueled her excitement and had the goddess sitting on her bed.  She put her hand over her chest and took a deep breath as she felt the change in the atmosphere. It was a familiar pressure in the air, an ominous presence had entered her chambers but it didn’t alarm the goddess. Instead, the pink-haired goddess looked around for the Sin. He was hidden in the shadows, near the small table.

“Beloved?” her soft voice echoed through the room.  She heard him stand up from the chair and walk quietly into the light.

Her eyes grew wide as she stared at him.  He seemed to be relaxed since he was wearing his suit very casually. He didn’t wear his vest, didn’t have a tie on and his sleeves were pulled up. The sin was holding a glass of bourbon –his favorite drink- and a triumphant smirk crept on his lips. She watched as he stopped in front of her and cupped her chin so he could lift her face up. His eyes were blue flames, as his gaze was intense, proud, but not fully satisfied.  His eyes stared at her, at her sugary plump lips half-opened as she wanted to speak but words died at the back of her throat. Instead, she stared at his intense blue eyes.

Her face lit up because she knew that his presence in her chambers meant it was the end of her inertia. The elder goddess yanked her head back, allowing for her head to cascade behind her and spill onto the sheets. He had returned victorious. She had spent enough time with the Sin to decode his face. He wouldn't have come to see her, with such a smirk on his face, if he had not been victorious. She didn't even need to ask him what happened because she already knew. Pride finally ended the rebellion. He crushed his traitorous siblings under his boot and they were reduced to nothing. It made the goddess sigh in delight and made her slowly spread her legs so he could close the space between the two of them. Her toga rested on her thighs, exposing the soft skin of her knees and calves. She hitched it up a little higher, so he could come closer to her frame.

Pride had been fighting this war for millennia by now. For so long his power and legitimacy had been disputed by his siblings and they had attempted to his life ever since they could. Now that they were out of the way, Pride became the undisputed ruler of the Underworld. Pride took another sip of his bourbon while his other hand lazily traced imaginary paths on the goddess collarbones, eliciting delicious moans from the pink-haired deity. She rolled her head to the side, allowing him to touch more of her while her own hands were holding onto the sheets of the bed.

Her mind had been busy these path months. Busy with adjusting to this new reality, this new Pride, the fact her beloved siblings were destroyed because they tried to help her and most of her pantheon was now loyal to her traitorous siblings. Her heart was still filled with the bitter need for revenge but her thirst was quenched tonight because the Sin had returned. Pride chuckled at her eagerness to be touched by him and almost applauded her lack of defiance; Elpis was temperamental, but she also knew when to be. Tonight wasn't the moment to be defiant or aggressive. tonight wasn't the night to be upset or worried. Elpis was appreciating the moment and the return of her King. 

“Did Envy suffer?” She asked as she felt his hand gently stroking her neck. The air in the atmosphere because even suffocating because of his intense presence. A mere mortal would have been dead by now, a weaker god would have been brought to his knees, Elpis was aroused by the sudden display of power. She resisted, in her own way, slowly pouring her energy around her as well, which made him curb a brow.

“I promised you he would.” He replied, bemused by her playful attitude. His other hand gently squeezed her neck, enough to just add a little bit of pressure and make her roll her eyes as she enjoyed his touch. He then moved his hand higher and grabbed a fist of her silky pink hair. “Have I ever disappointed you, Meus Lux?” My light. The name made her squirm a little and she tried to close her legs but he was right in between now, She relaxed her throat, surrendering to him in silence as she tried to imagine how her beloved had tortured her sworn enemy.

Elpis hated Envy because he was almost succeeded in killing her vessel. She hated that he was able to ruin her millennia-long efforts to nothing and was even angrier at the fact he almost deprived Pride of her presence. She hated that he hurt her sweet vessel and wanted nothing short of a painful death for him. She made Pride promise her that Envy would regret his stunt with her and with her beloved assuring her that he did, Elpis relaxed even more. She hitched her toga a little higher, almost dangerously exposing hidden treasures he had not tasted for far too long, but she didn't go further as she wanted to tease his very senses as well.

“Never, Meus Rex. You've never disappointed me.” She paused for a minute before she opened her eyes again to stare at him. His glass of bourbon had vanished and he gently laid her on her back, his hand still holding a fist of her pink locks. She pushed herself further up on the bed, so the ebony goddess was now fully laying on her back. The king was above her, still in between her legs and with his free hand on her legs. Silence settled between the two of them for a solid minute. They both were looking at each other while Elpis stroked her king's cheek.

There was a lot of things she wanted to tell him, the first one being that she acknowledged he wasn't the Pride she once knew and fell in love with. He was remade and therefore anew, but his very essence remained the same. It took her a while to adjust to this new reality, but with time, he proved to be better than who he once was. He proved to be caring, he always ensured her safety and comfort whether he was around or not. She enjoyed their conversations, the time he gave her when he was still planning his attacks against his siblings. She enjoyed his brutal honesty and while he could sometimes be a true asshole, Pride wanted her to be happy. He didn't like it when she was upset, and while the Sin wasn't very vocal about his feelings or emotions, he managed to make her smile more than once. He learned to know her and accept the goddess with her short temper, her demands, her playfulness and this very emotion he couldn't decipher just yet.

Elpis fell in love with him, with this version of Pride and realized it when he went to war. She realized that she grew attached to him and wanted nothing more but rule the universe with him. He was a conqueror after all, not just a ruthless king of the Underworld. Her beloved couldn't stop just right there, Pride wasn't designed like that. He would want more and she would want to be by his side when he would get more. After he conquered the Underworld, he would now only go above and destroy the very pantheon that messed with his life and hers. A kiss on her cheek was enough to distract the goddess from her trail of thoughts and she felt him slowly brushed the skin of her arms and pull them above her head. The goddess enjoyed the touch of the Sin and relaxed as he submitted her to his will. She bit her bottom lip, enjoying the surge of power from her beloved that literally crushed her frame to the bed.

The fingers of his free hand hitched her toga higher, exposing the goddess underwears and allowing the sin to better settled in between her legs. He did grow in power and was holding the world in his palm but his endless appetite forced him to want more. Elpis, despite the many opportunities she had never betrayed him. She remained within the Underworld and waited for him. He knew she wasn't helpless but instead tested her strength every day. She grew stronger and more powerful over the months spent here and he could feel the renewed energy flow through her veins. He could feel her appetite for revenge and more pour out of her and into the atmosphere. She was strong-willed, determined and very different from the Elpis he saw in the “other self” memories. Her smile softened him and he let his lips give her feverish kisses. It quickly became clear he didn't want to speak right now, but rather celebrate his victory over his siblings, so Elpis didn't insist. There would be another day for a deep conversation.

-TBC-

DOYA: Only home when you’re here.

DOYA: Only home when you’re here.

A/N : (to Dean)  I promised something sweet, these two have been through a lot and I want to celebrate them. I want to celebrate /us/ and I think that you would like what I made.

(To All) I think they deserve a little bit of love,  I was in such a bad mood lately that I needed to lift my spirits up. I love these two like you wouldn’t believe, and I wanted them to be happy, and name names, so here you are.

XXXX

Men of Letters bunker, Friday evening, 10: pm

Oya walked into the bedroom she shared with Dean, wrapped in her bathrobe and with a towel in her hands. She was trying to dry her hair when Dean jumped off of the bed and wrapped his arms around her waist. The tiny hunter lifted her head to look at him and grinned. He bent forward and planted a kiss on the top of her head. Oya chuckled and yanked her head back so she could have a better look at the dirty blonde hunter who was towering her.  He grabbed the towel and started to help her dry her heavy black locks gently. She purred as it sent shivers down her spine and wrapped her arms around his strong waist.

“I’m home.” –Was all she said-

“I know.” -Was all he replied–

She had been away for more than a week and had barely talked with Dean and Sam. They always rolled their eyes when she texted them because she constantly checked on them, but as soon as she stopped they started to miss it. Maybe it had to do with it being a habit, maybe it had to do with them enjoying having someone who cared for them, again. They missed her and her near-silence quickly worried the two seasoned hunters. Dean had missed her the most. She always teased him, with a text or a picture and the explicit description of what she had in mind. She was always vocal with Dean so, not hearing from Oya felt like an anomaly. It wasn’t natural, something was missing. The dirty blonde hunter couldn’t keep his excitement contained and wrapped his arms around her waist. She pressed her body against his and felt his grip on her waist grow tighter. The hunter lifted her petite frame without a warning, eliciting a groan from the woman who instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He placed his arms underneath her legs so her plump robe-covered ass would sit comfortably and lifted a brow as he noticed her mischievous grin.

“What?”

“You look as if you’ve missed me.” –She teased. Dean dramatically rolled his eyes and deeply sighed, which made her chuckle- “Ahahah, what?”

“Do you want me to state the obvious or what?” –He grunted, which had her move her face forward for a kiss to his cheek and pulled away as soon as she could-

“The obvious?” –She pretended she didn’t understand, only to see him exaggerate his features a little more. “Ah, you meant, “that” obvious. You totally missed me and you are too proud to say it, am I right?”

“I can say it. I just don’t want to see that stupid grin on your face if I do.” But he couldn’t keep his act together. Oya was looking at him with this beautiful smile on her face that had him lose all seriousness.  He felt his heartbeat harder and he looked at her with his intense green eyes. “I have missed you.” He whispered. Her hazel eyes averted from left to right before she cupped his cheek and gently pressed her lips to his.

“I have missed you too. I couldn’t wait to be home.” She whispered to him before she smiled at him again.

“Are you home now?” –It was a rhetorical question. One she replied with a simple nod-

The two of them never spoke fully for both didn’t believe in words. They both knew that lies could be uttered without a single thread of truth and therefore didn’t want to hear things. They needed to “know” things and most of the time, their mutual affection and love were expressed through their actions. Dean knew Oya loved him when she called him first and asked for help. He knew she loved him when she trusted him enough to speak of what weighted on her mind. He knew she loved him when she brought her ugly aprons back from her last case. He knew it because it was the proof Oya thought of him when she was away and she wanted to please him. He knew it when she hummed songs to him, in order to soothe the hunter and let her fingers run through his blonde hair.

She loved him, she was deeply in love with him and he truly felt it.  He didn’t need more and neither did she.  Oya knew Dean loved her when he welcomed her in “team free will.” She knew he loved her when he comforted her at night when she was plagued with nightmares and he took the time to reassure her. She knew he loved her when he cooked for her because he knew she loved his food. She knew he loved her when he told her to “stay with him” and accepted to share his room. Both were broken, both didn’t trust easily and yet he was trusting Oya with both his life and his heart.  Dean knew he could confide in her, he could tell her what he feared the most, he could tell her about his never-ending nightmares. He could tell her about his trauma because he knew she’d understand and he knew she’d stay with him.

Her hazel eyes lovingly stared at the emerald orbs of the hunter. She let her fingers stroke the back of his neck while the other stroked his shoulders. Oya wouldn’t tell Dean about the sleepless nights she spent because he wasn’t by her side. She wouldn’t tell him about how exhausted she was because of the case. She wouldn’t tell him about the nightmares she had and those alternate realities she dreamed of, realities where he would be dead or he would leave her because she wasn’t enough. She wanted to forget about it and focus on them together. So her hands sunk into his skin and she pressed her lips to his, in a more demanding way.

“I am at home. I am always home when you’re here… /only/ when you’re here.” -She said, biting her bottom lip- “I’m not sure you understand what I mean…” She said, furrowing her brows as doubt crept in her mind.

“I actually do. I feel home when you’re here too.” He said, flashing his infamous grin. “I’m home.” He said, gently pecking her lips before he watched her lift her brows as shock washed through her. “/only/ when you’re here.”

He replied in a soft whisper before he carried her to the bed.

-TBC-