A vintage's touch: "Have you ever felt lonely."

 (Mary: A vintage touch.) "Have you ever felt lonely? The type of feeling that clings to your bones and follows you anywhere you go? Have you ever felt like the whole world was hating you, and God had forsaken you? I was made to feel unloved. I was made to see myself as a mistake. I was made to fear those around me and not to trust anybody. Who could love little ol' me? 

I have felt lonely. I was familiar with abuse, my back still carries the stigmata of my time at the orphanage. I was alone and I cried myself to sleep every night, praying to have someone come and rescue me. Oh I prayed. I prayed so hard that my knees are still a little darker than the rest of my body for all the nights spent on them, praying to the deity above to help me. It didn't listen to me. Nobody came. Well.. that's not really true. Somebody did but I felt even more lonely than before. 

I have felt lonely... up until I met my new family. All of a sudden, because necessity forced me into their lives, I had found siblings, a surrogate mother, a man... a man I fell in love with and whose son I am raising. I might not carry the name, he might never marry me, I am still part of this bloody family because I see them for who they really are, without lies, without smoke, without anything that could hide them from me. I see them. they see me. And since then, I have never been lonely anymore."