Born and bred in Detroit, with only two years spent in Macomb, Debbie Malone was a very perky Michiganner. A stunning brunette with long straight brown hair, a slender build, and intense brown eyes, she was turning heads wherever she went. The woman always said that there was nothing the world could do to make her leave Detroit. It was the place she was born into and the state she wanted to die in. However, as much as she enjoyed the city, she loved the people in it even more. Debbie was friendly, and she had plenty of friends. She always lit up the room she walked into and always managed to make people smile and confide in her. People loved her, perhaps because she was the most unapologetically authentic person they've ever met. Perhaps because she genuinely cared about others, or perhaps she was always ready to help those in need. When Phoenix was introduced as the new teacher at her school, Debbie immediately took a liking to that woman.
She saw someone in dire need of friendship in Phoenix. After all, Nix always kept to herself, always seemed to want to be invisible, and seemed so genuinely awkward that Debbie could not help but want to help that young woman. She perceived Phoenix well, although she did not know the truth about her past. She perceived her loneliness, how guarded she was, yet so eager to meet new faces and connect with others. She saw how devoted to the kids she taught, Phoenix was, and also how she tried to appear unassuming and plain, deliberately so. So Debbie grew closer to her, and little by little, she helped Phoenix make a home out of Detroit. This afternoon was no exception. She usually heard Nix talk about her hot neighbor, a delicious hot candy that was haunting her nights. Strangely enough, it had been days since Phoenix mentioned the man at all, which prompted Debbie to offer a coffee date with her friend after Wednesday's shift was over. Phoenix agreed to it, and soon after the bell rang, the two friends went to their favorite coffee spot, a couple of blocks away from school.
"You seem really strange, Nix. Has something happened to you recently?"
"What do you mean by strange?" -Phoenix almost choked on her drink and quickly put the cup down to grab a napkin. She cleaned the corner of her mouth and gave her friend a sheepish smile-
"This! Right here! Something happened to you! Usually, you'd tell me about your weekend, or about whatever you saw that you wanted to try. Come on! It's been a week, and I have not heard a word from you. Something must have happened!"
"MMhh? So I have been this quiet, uh? I don't want to worry you. Nothing bad happened to me, I have just been in my head a lot lately, that's all." -She gave her crooked smile, in an attempt to deflect, but Debbie was on her case, she knew something was off-
"Look, I don't want to put pressure on you, but you have to tell me...Did something happen with the neighbour? Does he know you've been thirsting on him for two years now?"
The barrage of questions made Phoenix blush and open her mouth. No sound came out of it, so she quickly closed it and felt her cheeks burning. Debbie Malone was a straightforward woman who never beat around the bush when she had something in mind. Nix racked her brain to see where she failed and how her friend was able to easily read into her, and it became clear that it was the lack of communication about the hot neighbor that set off Debbie's alarm. Her shoulders dropped, and the honey-haired teacher leaned into her chair.
"I have to give it to you, Deb, you're good." - She tried to play it off cool, but her heart was racing against her ribcage-
"Told ya I know people. And you, my dear, are an open book when it comes to people you like. You can't be talking every single day about that hot neighbour and suddenly stop unless something happened. Now, tell me what happened!"
"He knows about how hard I am lusting after him." -Nix conceded- "He knows how intensely I have been wanting him too." -She grinned- "And.... he actually liked hearing it all. Mind you, that happened in the middle of us fucking.." -She let it slip and stuck her tongue out-
"Wait.....WHAT?" Debbie almost screamed her last word. She took a sip of her coffee and put her cup down. Her eyes grew wide, and she pointed a finger at Phoenix, who chuckled at her friend's reaction.- "When???? How??? You gotta be shitting me!"
"Ahahaha, no! Honest to God! We fucked... A little bit over a week ago. We... met by accident in the elevator, and I had a rough night. I wanted to relax at home, to catch a glimpse of him and flick my bean after, but he entered the elevator at that exact moment, Deb. We started to have small talk, I offered him dinner sometime later, and he agreed, and before I knew it, I was at his door wearing lingerie and holding a big bowl of marinara meatballs and pasta I made for us."
"No fucking way!!!!!! Did you two even eat anything, or did you go at it like rabid animals?"
"Deb!!!!! You know I have patience! I actually just wanted to tease him that night, to show him the goods, ahah oh my god, I really was fearless that night. He took it in stride, and before I knew it, we were making out. From the moment our lips touched, I knew that I would want more, and so did he. It was... electric, Deb. He made me rediscover myself that night. It was so much better than I ever imagined with him. I...I... I was so terrified he would not want to see me again. I was certain it would be a one-night stand with no more contact or acknowledgment from either of us, but it did not happen like that. He came back the next day to take a look at my radiator and... We had sex again... but this time he stayed."
"And you did not want to tell your best friend after your dreams came true because?...." -Debbie lifted a brow, waiting for Nix to explain why she kept something that huge under wraps. She was happy for her friend, genuinely, but also upset that Nix decided not to share the news with her-
"I'm sorry, Deb. I was not sure if it was true, and frankly, I was scared to be humiliated if I had my dreams up and he shattered them by avoiding me....Ridiculous, I know, but there is just something about him that makes me nervous....like a teenager with her first crush."
It suddenly clicked in Debbie's mind. Phoenix was afraid of rejection. They had a conversation a year ago, right at the time Debbie had started to crush on Wallace Walker, the handsome and reliable chief of the firehouse near the school. Back then, Debbie would only talk about romance and ex-boyfriends and would ask Phoenix about her love life. Nix readily admitted that her love life was disastrous, that she had one night stands (in truth, she was talking about her missions), one childhood love who betrayed her in the worst ways (a childhood sweatheart who faked his own death to leave the country and start a fresh new life in another one, which technically was true), and that was it.
Debbie knew that it heavily impacted Phoenix's self-esteem. Through their conversations, she caught several comments made out of the young woman's control that revealed a wound so deep and so freshly opened that it broke Debbie's heart. Nix believed she could not be loved, that there was nothing that could make anyone stay with her. She reasoned that she had no friends, with Debbie being the first true friend she ever had, and the exception to that arbitrary rule Phoenix cast upon herself. If she could not even have friends, how could she find someone who liked her? And while the teacher never formally claimed to have lost all hope of a decent and lovely life, Debbie could read between the lines. So it made sense that she did not want to talk about the hot neighbour because that could invite a lot of hurt in. Nix had already decided that it could not work because he could not possibly fall for someone like her.
"Ohhh, so you don't want it to just be a fling, do you?" - Nix shook her head- "But you're afraid. I can tell."
"Marc is really a good man, Deb. He's devoted to his job, to helping people. He risks his life every single day, and I just think that he's too good for me, you know? He cares for me, at least; he acted like it. He is attentive to my needs, he listens to me, he comforts me when I am scared."
"Then why are you twisting your brain like that? You have just started to see each other, haven't you? Why anticipate such a gloomy ending when it's barely just beginning?"
"I'm covering my bases, I guess. I don't want to make stories in my head and think that there is a chance he would want to be with me when there is none." She dropped her head and squeezed the fabric of her skirt in her fists. " Debbie, I'm alright, okay? I am actually very happy to have been able to spend time with him."
"Ye-yeah, take it one step at a time, day after day. You-- How about you tell me the naughty deets, uh? You two had sex, and I want to know how good Marc is in bed."
Debbie smiled at her friend, a way for her to try to hide her growing concern for her. She did not expect Phoenix to actually confide in her more than she already did and kept mental notes for the time being about Nix's insecurities. It would come in handy regardless of the turn this relationship could make. Deep down, the brunette wished for her honey-haired friend to actually find a very fulfilling relationship, but it was way too soon to know if it would be the case with Marc or not. Nix took a sip of her coffee and gave Debbie a crooked smile, announcing her desire to indulge her friend and tell her what happened with Marc and how good a lover he was with her. They talked about it for a good couple of hours, interspersed with laughter, relief, and joy, even as she shared her good memories with her friend. In truth, Phoenix felt relieved.
She did not realize it yet, but she felt so good talking about Marc. He brought light into her existence, something she had not anticipated when they spent their first night together. He healed something in her that night, somehow; he welcomed her as she was, with the unexpected and the adorable. For a brief moment, she felt like a normal human being, like a person without a red ledger, like the teacher she wanted to become. With him, she could almost feel that she was forgiven for all the sins she had committed before. It felt as if she could put behind her the life as an assassin, and those few hours spent with him were life-saving. They were everything...But could she handle losing him if he dug up her past? Yet, talking to Debbie helped squash this thought. It just felt good to be able to share something good that happened to her with a friend.
-TBC-
No comments:
Post a Comment