TB: Doubts

Sara dreaded the day she would have to part ways with Dotty. Their partnership meant everything to the supe because Dotty was her best friend, her manager, and a mother figure. Despite their disagreements, and very loud arguments, they both wanted the best for the other. Dotty looked after her, the way she knew how. Dotty was there throughout the ordeal Brett put Sara through. She was there when Sara needed a shoulder to cry on or when her protegée needed advice regarding a song or a performance. While Sara didn't have a lot of pictures of them together, she remembered quite well everything Dotty did for her. It became difficult for Sara to hide her relationship with Homelander from Dotty but she knew it was for the best because the older woman would absolutely lose her shit if she discovered the truth. She would be worried, then upset at Sara for hiding this information from her. She would probably try to reason with Sara and beg for her to break up with Homelander but Sara was having none of it. She didn't want to hear Dotty try and break them up. She didn't want Dotty to be in trouble with Homelander for suggesting this ridiculous idea and she didn't want to be upset at Dotty for not seeing the relationship for what it was, for how much good it was doing to her. 

Could she blame Dotty? Deep down, Sara knew that she couldn't. Dotty witnessed her very bad choice of partners over the years. She witnessed her pain, she witnessed her tears and she helped Sara get out of harm's way so, obviously, she wouldn't look at this budding relationship with the next tyrant of the United States with a very open mind. He was unhinged (that much was a given). He was unpredictable, scary and to top it off, homicidal. If anything that Starlight kid was saying, by all means, Homelander was a mass killer, or a serial killer, or whatever type of killer that existed, Dotty was sure that Homelander was it. She didn't trust him, didn't like him, and didn't believe a word he said on the telly. So why would she be happy for Sara? Lying to the older woman was giving Sara headaches. She didn't like keeping the truth from her but she decided to do so until the relationship became public. What Sara dreaded the most, unlike the bullshit she kept repeating to herself every single day, was the disappointment in the face of Dotty. She couldn't bear to see the "why are you always running towards danger." She couldn't bare to hear Dotty berate her for picking the most abusive pieces of shit who walked the Earth but again, that was just a projection on Sara's part. Why would Dotty say this rather than see how happy her protegée was? Why would she focus on the negative the press, or the boys say about Homelander? 

Perhaps, deep down, what she dreaded the most was to be angry with Dotty to the point that the two would stop talking to each other and learn in the newspapers about the death of her mentor. She wanted to keep a positive relationship with the older woman even if that included lying to her face about her new romance.  The good outweighed the bad, so Sara decided to lie, well... to keep herself from mentioning the truth which wasn't exactly a lie.  The truth was, that Sara was terrified about going public with Homelander because she was unsure of how the public would welcome this relationship. She expected harsh remarks and people who would let their lowest instincts take over for any reason, but she didn't expect to be embraced by his fans. She didn't want her peace to be disturbed by some unhinged maniac who would try and coax Homelander into breaking up with her or who would go and actively try to harm her in retaliation for his choice. The country was rather wild these days and she didn't want to have the spotlight forced in her face.  And what about her own fans? Would they accept a new relationship? Would they try to tear them apart? would they try to start rumors? Would she lose fans over her romance with Homelander? It was stressing her out and she didn't even notice that Dotty was already aware of the situation. After all, she knew Sara as if she had made her, so she knew something was going on. She even knew that Sara was keeping a secret from her... All she had to do was find it.