COLBY: "Her hands weren't meant to kill."

Her hands weren't meant to kill. Arthur had told Mary that he hated the idea of her pulling on a trigger. He didn't want her darling hands to be used for something other than healing others. She was a nurse, after all, it was her calling to be among those who try their best to save lives.  He told her that while he was put on Earth to take lives and soil his fists with blood and other human waste, she should be stitching people back together, putting them back to health. She chuckled and gently told Arthur that no matter how they imagined their lives, reality would always have a way to shake them up. No one, especially in these early industrial years, was spared by life.  She would have to take a life whether she wanted it or not. Arthur promised her she wouldn't have to and he tried, God did he try to protect Mary to the best of his ability. Unfortunately, he couldn't spare her the trauma of killing someone. Neither could Tommy. 

Her hands weren't meant to kill. Tommy always said it when she wanted to know about his business. He kept telling her that the best thing for her was to be kept in the dark about whatever business he was doing because it was best if she spent her energy on something else. He wanted her to focus on the children of Grace's Institute because he believed she was really helping shape these young minds into better adults than they were. He believed in her ability to nurture the gentler side of these orphans and by extension, the side of the adults around them. He did his best to keep her out of harm's way but even with his best efforts, Tommy wasn't superhuman. There were still powerful men with strings they could pull to hurt Mary. There were still enemies he made along the way to absolute power in Birmingham, enemies who forced Mary's hand. He still remembered when he rushed to her side, the shell-shocked face she had on, the shaky hands, the blood that soiled her face, her hands, arms..her dress. It was a sight he wished never to see again. It was a sigh he vowed never to see again and as he took the gun away from her hands, Tommy grabbed the back of her neck and leaned his forehead against hers. 

Her hands weren't meant to kill. Mary had always known it. She imagined she would be surprised by Death and would not be able to put up a fight but Life proved her wrong. She fought. She always fought for her life. If it wasn't by mentally breaking free from the heavy influence and control of her first husband, Carter, it was by physically fighting off assailants. Long before a gun was put in her hands, she would use anything near her, anything she had to protect herself. She had scratched, bit, slapped, and even punched people who had tried to hurt her. She had stabbed those who threatened children and now... now she had shot at someone to save both her life and the life of a child... her child... Charlie. She protected him and it only took Tommy's gentle hand on her cheek and intense blue gaze on her, for Mary to come back to her senses and realize what had just happened. She cried and hugged Tommy to find some comfort in the awful truth that she had, indeed, taken a life. Her hands weren't meant to kill... and despite this truth, Mary knew that she was ready to do it, to protect the ones she loved.