Trivia: secret they won't talk about

 Nëela: The secret she won't talk about is how she tried to make a deal with a demon to die. She was willing to give up on her magic if that could break the curse and help her die. However, she's been doing better since then and is in denial about this episode of her life.

xx

Sara: She doesn't want to talk about two things.  the worst thing her ex Brett did to her was sexually assaulting her. she's unable to speak about it, won't even think about it, and still suffers from PTSD because of it.  Unrelated but she would also not say how she almost killed another teenager at the orphanage with her powers in retaliation for her bullying.

xxx

Bäahal: She doesn't want to speak of her past as a slave.  one peculiar thing is never mentioned, the branding of her former master on her shoulder.  She tried to knife it off of her skin but she couldn't get the whole branding.  Jaime saw it but only because they've been intimate.

xxx

Mary (SoA): She doesn't want Maya and anyone else to know that she helped her mother die. Her mother's health deteriorated too fast and she was in such pain that she pleaded with her daughter to help her die. Mary arranged with a doctor to inject her with a drug so she could die peacefully in her sleep. Still to this day, she is unable to talk about it.

xxxx

Mary (PB): She doesn't want to talk about the loss of her son Paul. It is her biggest heartbreak and the biggest source of shame (as she thinks she's responsible for his death). Spending time with Charlie helped her heal and mourn for her son's death but she avoids talking about him unless it's his death anniversary. 

Trivia headcanon: what I love about them

Tom:  "Tom's drive is something I truly admire. Once he sets his eyes on something, he is relentless. He would not stop until he saw his vision realized. He loves his family and it is something I don't compromise with. I love that about him. I love that he wants the best for his loved ones and would do his best to protect them or to give them the life they want. I admire his intelligence as well. He is so clever, above the rest of us all and sometimes it's intimidating. I fear I'm not clever enough for him or maybe moving way too slow for a mind like his but he never made me feel daft or ridiculous. He never made me feel inadequate. I love how passionate he is about horses and his freedom... He's a wanderer and while it's not something that suits me perfectly, I do envy his ability to lust after freedom and to leave whenever he feels like it for however long he sees fit. He's one of the strongest men I know and the only one I can trust blindly. Well.. it does help that I want to become his wife and have his babies! someday...Because I know he will give his children what he didn't have while growing up..... to the best of his abilities."

Homelander: "Homelander... John...regardless of who he is with me has always been honest with me. He never lied and has always shown me who he really was. I love that about him. I love that he is always attentive to whatever I need and however I feel. he's always made sure I was happy and had all my needs met. I have to say, he is adorable. I think that it's a part of him that even he doesn't know exists. He's adorable with me, fine with mundane things, and content with spending time with me doing whatever we want to be doing. I feel safe with him -I know that plenty of people don't but I don't care-. He's fun, we have great fun together and he makes me chuckle or laugh while others fail to do so. he is entertaining and I love that we get to discover things together, things he was never taught to enjoy the way others do. I love it the most when he sneaks behind me and wraps his arms around my frame to kiss my neck. He's so cute. And when he's relaxed and happy, we have the deepest conversations. I know he wasn't loved properly when he was younger but I am glad that we can heal our younger selves together. I... Love that he can open up to me and be vulnerable and true to me. Not a lot of people can speak so freely about what plagues their minds but he does. He trusts me. He cares for me... He..maybe he loves me too. All I know is that I love him and I want him to be happy... So happy!"

Klaus: "Klaus' wits are so fast. he has the best comebacks! They do hurt sometimes and they crush me when he directs his venom at me. Yet, when I can witness him talk his mind off, it's quite a delight! He is clever, cultured, and honestly very entertaining to me. I enjoy spending time with him and could spend every single night for the next couple of centuries (or all of eternity if I am allowed to live that long) with him. he is passionate, sensual, a man with a drive that goes beyond anything else. He is a family man too. No matter what he thinks or says, he cares for his family and this has drawn me to him. Did I mention that I love his artistic streak? because he is such an artist and it's pleasant to watch him paint, relaxing even for me. Klaus is... How to put it gently? I love that Klaus doesn't let people dog-walk him. I love that he makes sure that people respect him and I love that he asserts himself this strongly. I love that he is able to lower his defenses for me and show me a more vulnerable side of himself. He's loveable. He's so loveable... I wish he knew just how much I love him. I wish he knew he wasn't unredeemable. Not in my eyes."

Dean:  "You have to know that I am obsessed with my husband. He's charming, he's funny! He's so caring! You wouldn't believe just how beautiful his soul is. He is selfless and he's so fun! I love it when he makes jokes with me. I love when he taunts me or when he messes with my mind sometimes. I love when we get to laugh together and when he carries me all over the bunker.  He feels safe, he is safe for me! He is kind and you should see him with kids! he's the best man around. I love how loyal he is and how dedicated to his job he is. I mean, he's a world savior and has saved it more times than I can count! you can't tell that the man isn't trying to save lives! he is a freaking hero in my eyes and he would always be. I think that one of the things that truly makes me swoon is that despite the horrors he's experienced, he still kept his humanity. He still kept his gorgeous soul and I will do my best to make sure that he knows just how much loveable he is! he deserves the world and I love him with everything I hold dear."

Pride: "It's a bit complicated to talk about such perfection. If I speak, I will crumble. I want to keep my decorum."

Jaime:  "Jaime is a man of his word. He has a strong sense of honor. I love that he's family-oriented and I love that he cares for people more than he wants to admit. If he didn't, he wouldn't have saved the people of King's Landing. If he didn't... he wouldn't have tried to snap me out of my sacrificial lamb funk... He wouldn't have cared for me the way he did. Jaime is a kind man, sure, he can be dramatic and sometimes make my heart jump against my ribcage but that doesn't take away from him. He is clever, a man of knowledge who teaches me a lot about a world I don't know a lot about. he guides me, he is patient and he is so loving that I sometimes wonder if I deserve to be loved like this by him. He's so kind... Ah... And delicate with me. I love that he's a passionate man. When he looks at me with his intense green gaze. When he talks to me and serenades me all night? When he loves me, it's never in half. He goes all in.  He's honest as well and never lied to me not even once. I..oh...I love him so much, I feel like crying right now."

Annie:  "Annie is one of the bravest people I've ever known. She went through a lot of shit, I can tell. I can feel it. Despite it all, she's not jaded with life. She is still trying to see the light in everything in Life and her soul is beautiful because of it. Annie inspires me to strive for the best and be the best version of myself. She inspires me to be less of a coward and try and help people more. I mean, far more than just giving money to non-profit organizations. She saw right through my bullshit and brought me the comfort I didn't know I needed. She's easy to talk to. She's a company I love. I trust her, I trust her opinion on a lot of things. I hope I'm not screwing this friendship up because God, I would hate to lose her."

Maya: "Maya is one tough motherfucker! She is badass as hell and I admire that about her! She always stands back up after she was knocked down. She never gives up and she's so protective as well. She's the first person to ever make me feel safe after years of running away from my abusive ex. She made me feel like I was in good hands you know? That I could trust her and wouldn't be betrayed. She's a beacon of hope, for me that is... Because I can see her grow as a person, move on from the terrible life she had before, and be happy. She's proof that we can be happy, even when we don't feel like we deserve it. I hope she now believes she deserves to be loved because she does. She's selfless and caring. She has such a big heart. Don't tell her that I call her "Disney princess" because of her love for animals and how easily they love her. Who wouldn't love her? I definitely do. I love her smile, it's so warm and so charming... it's so sweet and so... adorable. She's my sister and I hope that regardless of what life has in store for us, she knows that until the end of my life, she was my favorite person in the whole world. "

Kyra: "Lady Kyra is a beautiful and brave woman. I know that her strength was born out of trauma and the circumstances of her upbringing but by the gods, is she strong! She has more power and more strength in her pinky than any of the lords she has to deal with at Casterly Roc. Kyra would have made a fine queen if she had the opportunity and she makes a fine head of the Noble houses affiliated to the Lannister Family. She would lead them much better than any of the men before her.  She is clever, so clever...I sometimes wonder how she doesn't find me daft next to her. I also love the way she tells stories because she tells them so well. She makes my mind travel to places I have never been before and she has such a lovely sense of humour. She's my friend...no... She's my sister and I hope that we will remain friends... I mean, we would become sisters before the gods but I do hope, I do hope that our relationship would only blossom and not sour."

COPG: Elpis soliloquy

Perhaps we pursue empty dreams in the hope they would fill the void inside? 

I am not always so blue, but it isn’t lost on me that I am going to war against my whole pantheon… the last of my family. I am about to be alone and make myself an orphan. I understand how complex the situation is… and how terrifying it is to put my whole existence on the line and in your hands.

 What if….after all that bloodshed, you decide that I am no longer worth your love? What if I lose you too?

Oh… by Gaza, they surely won’t get to my head. I guess it’s just melancholia speaking…. Alas, poor Elpis!

Colby: You can't compliment your way into Tommy Shelby's heart

Niceties wouldn’t get you far with Tommy Shelby. He didn’t like those who spoke to him with a silver tongue, mostly because he knew that they were hiding something. Tommy wasn’t vain and certainly couldn’t be swayed by a couple of compliments, he would perhaps entertain your attempt at stroking his ego but he would squash it into nothingness. Compliments weren’t his currency for he dealt with violence. He only struck deals with people he respected or he knew would guarantee his success. He could suffer a dinner or two with politicians - known ass-kissers and liars- to advance his goal but he would never fail for their words and promises. 

Still, some believed they could make him swallow their lies. Some believed they could manipulate and tame the black stallion when in truth he couldn’t be tamed. Nothing could keep him grounded, stuck with regular humans with little to no ambition. Nothing could keep him at home. Mary knew it and while she embraced the king of Birmingham as he was, she couldn’t hide the fact that his absences took a toll on her and Charlie. She couldn’t hide the fact she missed him. She couldn’t hide her feelings… no matter how hard she tried. And he saw right through her much to his dismay.

Colby: There it was

There it was, a smile at long last! 

Mary rarely smiled, not even when she was outside acting like the headmistress of the Grace Institute. Only children could witness her warmth and kindness. Only a few could catch her smiling when she was in a good mood. Arthur did, once, and Polly managed to see some more but it was Tommy who saw her smile the most. With him, Mary was vulnerable. She allowed him to see her at her lowest. She allowed him a lot of things. 

But even when she had a smile plastered on her face, the trained eye could see she was hiding something more sinister. A pain that was not explained. A pain she would stifle and bury as she refused to talk about it. 

A pain sometimes caused by Tommy Shelby and his longer absences. A pain caused by the memories of her son, a poor soul that joined the angels. A pain caused by her first husband and the horrific circumstances of their meeting, wedding, and his death. 

Mary felt forsaken by God. She grew up believing that she was hated by him and had to repent for the sin of her birth. She believed that any pain and trauma she experienced was payback for her existence. She sometimes still feels as if she shouldn’t be there or shouldn’t be loved and yet….. yet…she kept a smile on her face. She held onto her life and the people who made it worth living. She kept fighting for her redemption. 

There it is, at long last a smile on her face!

TB headcanons: Her freckles

Sara’s freckles cover her body. She usually covers them when she’s Unnamed Girl to remain incognito when she is Sara Richardson. 

This has been a contentious point in all of her relationships as Brett and Tara wanted her to cover her skin when they were together. 

Sara doesn’t hate them but believes that no one would ever want to be her friend/ date her because of these. 

Homelander changed the way she perceived them and she loves to just be herself. 

Her hair is bone straight due to compound V but she sometimes curls them to have an Afro on.

tb headcanons: Sister Sage

Sister sage

Sara doesn’t trust Sage. She knows the woman is an evil piece of shit who plans ahead and would not tolerate being slighted. So Sara threads carefully whenever she’s around that woman. 

Sage believes that Sara can be used to help Homelander. Ultimately she saw through Sara’s smoke and mirror and knows her deepest insecurities and weaknesses. As soon as she realizes that Sara would not be a threat to her plan, she instead decides to leverage her. After all, isn’t Sara a liability?

TB: stripping herself down

She stripped herself down to the bone, sacrificing everything she had for someone else’s happiness. 

What did that bring her if not pain and misery!? 

Tara was right when she said she was a people pleaser and that ultimately didn’t give her the love she needed. 

She realized that someone who genuinely cared for her would not let her hurt herself. Someone who genuinely cared for her would not require her to lose everything for them. Where was the joy in such a relationship?

In truth, Sara wasn’t sure that anyone would actually want her love. Why would they when she destroyed everything she touched? That was why she had no friends… and why she was terrified of losing her new love.

Klasma: his words cut deep

His words cut deep, deeper than a knife as it cut through her soul. She was used to it, hell, after 825 years she should be. She was used to having venom thrown at her face, to watch hatred in other people's faces. She was used to being pushed away and rejected just for existing. Sometimes, Neela liked to think that it was due to her curse. After all, her coven made sure that no one, nothing on Earth would embrace her. 

Still… another part of her believed that it was because of  /her/. They rejected /her/ because of who she was, what she did… her personality. So when Klaus spoke his venom, part of Nëela took it personally because she believed it.  She believed him.

Got (modern): Viserys - A clear mind.

A clear mind. Viserys had managed to remain sober for several months now. While a part of him was proud of his efforts, another was in agony.  He couldn’t deny the pain he caused his family, especially not the one he Inflicted on Bäahal. The insults, the physical blows…. Her tears. Her screams… he felt everything.  Everything was easier when he was drunk, everything felt like a blurry scene he barely remembered. He went from one party to another, a pair of legs to another and he drowned his sorrows with booze. 

Daenerys forced him to sober up, as she needed him to shoulder the responsibilities of their estate. She forced him to get his mind straight if he wanted to recover his financial freedom. He did so, first because he didn’t want to be dependent on his little sister any longer and because he felt that he was losing his grip on reality. He was violent, well he has been since his childhood, and for the longest time Viserys had never reflected on his actions but now? Now that he was sober? He saw his sister flinch whenever he walked into a room she was in. He saw her fidget with her clothes when she was talking to him and he saw her stiffen as soon as he opened his mouth.  That made him reflect on his behavior and motivated him to remain sober. 

« Is he still the Dragon Prince? ». Some would ask, curious about his clear-headed behavior.  « Oh he is now the Dragon King! » others would say. Viserys now sober was even more terrifying than before. He always managed to steal the show as soon as he entered a room. He always managed to make others hold their breaths until he spoke or did their best to get his approval. They wanted to please him because he made or broke reputations.  They needed to please him because he was the king of the night. He was the Dragon King. And while he made sure to keep his violence in check, they knew that it was boiling under the surface. They knew he was far more dangerous today than before. He was aware of it too.

Got (regular): Jaime was far more than that.

He was the most hated man of Westeros and Bäahal knew that they would face challenges as soon as they stepped out together. The people heard what they wanted to hear, and the noble houses relished in their hatred for him but few knew the truth. A few knew why he did what he did and for those who could have known, they didn’t care enough to rehabilitate him. He was the gods' chosen scapegoat. He was but the shadow of the Golden Lion for them but for the princess, he was far more than that.

Got (modern): I love Kyky

Kyky here is my best friend. I already know that some of you bitches would try to dim our light and go off in conspiracies. Please suit yourselves. 

I know what I know. 

I know she’s the apple of my eye, the sister from another mister, and the support and love I never got from my folks. 

She never judged me. She never picked me apart. And her love is not conditional. 

She showed me that in an ocean of faux business, some business is genuine. 

She showed me that I could be loved and I had a wicked sense of humour too. She showed me it was okay to be vulnerable with her because she wouldn’t use it against me. 

I love her. Through and through! Always and forever no matter how much our families hate what we do!

GoT(regular) : Dearest Kyra

Dearest Kyra,

Ser Tyrion informed me of the delicate situation you are stuck in. I offered to help but he told me that after the siege I should be more careful with what I was doing. 

I am writing quickly because my visit is long overdue and I shall take the road to Casterly Roc.  It is not lost on me that men fear women in power. Look at how they reacted when my sister sat on the throne. Look at what they did to me, to hurt her. I cannot stay passive so I am coming to your aid. 

With love 

Bäahal Targaryen 

Princess of the Seven Kingdoms.

TB: Did you know?

//Well, Sara suffers from PTSD from the abuse she received at the hands of her former relationships. To this day she hasn't dealt with what happened to her and every time she hears from her former lovers/ abusers she freaks out and breaks down. This came right after she read what Tara said about ther. 

"Did you know about this, Dot? " -Sara threw the tabloids on the table of her manager.-

"Why do you bother reading this? I told you that you shouldn't be reading garbage." -Dotty removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her blue eyes set upon the magazines and she noticed that Tara's interview was plastered all over.-

"Did you /know/  about this, Dot??? Did you know she would give an interview to Vaught News? Did you know what she said about me?"

"Forget about this, baby. It's irrelevant!" -Sara hit her chest in protest of what Dotty was saying to her. -

"It's fucking /relevant!/ She said shit about /me/!!!" Sara hit the table with her hand and Dotty gasped as she didn't expect her protegee to hit the table this hard. Sara was losing her composure and unfortunately for her, it led to an anxiety attack. "She said shit about me!"

Dotty watched as Sara kept pushing her hair behind her ears. She was breathing heavily and her eyes quickly filled with unshed tears. She couldn't stop herself from crying and walked in circles. Dotty stood up and outstretched her hand towards the young woman. Sara couldn't see her, the tears rolled down her cheeks and she shook from head to toe. Flashbacks of Tara belittling her, threatening her, and making her feel lesser then came back to her. Tara spoke of her as if it was the truth as if she was really this pathetic and this easy to read. Dotty walked toward Sara and grabbed her shoulders to soothe her. Sara pushed her away, refusing to be touched by the older woman and she recoiled to the corner of the room.  The singer then knelt on the floor and sobbed louder.  She kept pushing her hair behind her ears, unable to stop the self-soothing gesture, and screamed. 

Dotty could feel her heart sink in her chest as she knew just how easily Sara could spiral. Tara and Brett had both traumatized her so much that the singer could barely keep herself together when she heard about them. Dotty tried her best to keep her safe, making sure that she wouldn't read anything online or wouldn't watch interviews on TV. Deep down, the older woman knew just how much pain Tara and Brett inflicted on Sara. She didn't know the extent of it, but she could see the bruises and cuts on her body, she was there when Sara needed to go to the hospital to have her ribs fixed or a plaster on her legs. While she never admitted it out loud, Dotty felt that she failed her protegee. She failed Sara. Even now she failed to protect her from a breakdown. 

"I'm here. I'm here baby. Tara's garbage. Whatever she said in that interview wasn't true. it wasn't true. Are you sensitive? yes! Fragile? at times, yes! You didn't meet the right people and weren't loved properly but that doesn't make you defective. You are not... you are not what she said you were! Sara! Sara, please look at me."

But Sara was still crying. She couldn't calm down and the words Dotty was desperately saying didn't reach out to her ears. She could hear DOtty but couldn't understand her. The words didn't reach out to her brain. How could they when panic had swallowed Sara? Dotty shook her head and tried to think of another way to reach out to the young woman. She put her hands before her where Sara could see them and slowly moved them to brush over Sara's hands. 

"Sara.. Breathe.  Breathe... You're safe here. You're safe..."

Sara looked up to Dotty's face. She saw her wet eyes, tears that had streamed down her face as she felt her protegee's pain. It was enough to help Sara focus on her face and tilt her head to the side. She slowly grabbed Sara's hands and held onto them with her warm hands. Sara's black orbs stared at the older woman's blues. She kept repeating the words, she kept telling Sara she was safe and that nothing could happen to her, enough for Sara to calm down. 

"Wh... Why? Why don't they leave me be? Why do they have to come back and hurt me, Dotty? She dumped me years ago! why is she trying to hurt me again?" She moaned out and sobbed harder. "I am exhausted, Dot. Exhausted... Hasn't she hurt me enough?"

"She will never be satisfied until you're groveling at her feet. She... noticed you were doing better and she wanted to destroy whatever happiness you felt. It's her...She's defective, not you. not you!!" -She cupped Sara's cheeks and gently stroked her skin.- "Please Sara... You should seek therapy. I can't... I can't help you the way I want to. I don't have the knowledge to guide you through this. They hurt you and they... you're still hurting, baby."

"No! I don't want to talk to someone about what happened. I don't want to relive this, Dot. I don't want to relive the shit they put me through... Don't make me. Please!" She said, her lips still trembling. "I just want everything to stop... I just.. need everything to stop." She said, still sobbing before she slowly lay on the floor, her head against Dotty's thighs. She curled into a ball and cried, more softly this time than before. Dotty ran her hand through her hand through Sara's black locks and sighed, defeated by the situation. 

"I won't make you. It's okay... it's okay baby... You're okay." 

But would she be? 

TB headcanon: sexual harassment

Sexual harassment: 

The underbelly of Hollywood is a miasma of abuse. Dotty tried her best to protect her protegée from nasty producers, directors, and sometimes even fans. She refused to subject Sara to casting couch practices and avoided as much as possible to work with sleazebags. Unfortunately, she couldn't protect Sara from everything. Several artists and music producers tried to sleep with her, some groped her or forced her to wear revealing costumes for video clips. 

As soon as she became famous and rich enough to decide for herself, Sara managed to avoid working with awful producers. That didn't stop some of them from groping her or making indecent proposals to put her music on air or to ensure she had collaborations with the artists she liked. She's had crazy fans in the past, trying to break into her house or those who groped her during her public apparitions. She doesn't like the negative attention or being touched without her consent and she's tried to bring awareness to the topic several times. It even happened, sometimes after she started to date Homelander, that a host during a ceremony groped her in public, making her lose her composure and freeze on the spot. 

Has she been slut-shamed? Yes, unfortunately, but she always pretended that it didn't matter to her when in public. In truth, it made her feel insecure to know that some people perceived her as being a pretty woman they only wanted to fuck or who was only good for it. It made her feel insecure to be talked about on tabloids which always pick her body apart or slut-shame her when they can do so.  Sexual harassment also happened in her previous relationships, especially with Brett who pushed it further. Unfortunately, he decided that she was his property and he decided that she should be available to his needs anytime he needed her. He was used to touch her and went as far as to force himself on her. It took a while for Sara to reclaim her body and sexuality after the number Brett did on her but No matter what, her reaction would always be the same: She would freeze on the spot, unable to react and the rare times she would react, it would be with violence. 

TB: Trashing Sara

"Unnamed  Girl? Oh, yes I do remember her. I mean, how could I forget her? I used to love her, you know? I wanted to help her balance her career and her personal life but I failed. Unnamed Girl is a self-serving conniving bitch. She would stop at nothing to be loved, even throwing me under the bus. You know, I didn't realize just how deep her insecurities ran. She's a people pleaser and would crumble when I was a little bit upset. how can you live with someone who would swallow any pill you give them? She groveled for me and went against her own interest just to see me smile. Ugh.. pathetic! 

Where was her personality? I guess in the gutter. I tried to help her find her voice, you know? A little bit of confidence in herself but she never understood that. She was suffocating too, always so needy for my love. I couldn't make one move without her being clingy and needy! I had to reassure her, to tell her that she was great and that I loved her. How could I be spending all of our time together trying to put her back together? Where was she when I needed her? Nowhere! Where was she when I wanted her to spend time with me? nowhere to be found. So today she's crying foul, telling the whole world that I broke her heart and trying to paint me as the villain in her little sob story but she's lying! She's fucking lying! 

I don't want to get back to her, I don't buy her good girl act and I certainly don't pay attention to the rumour about her dating life. I mean, why should I care who's fucking her? They will have to deal with a weak self-centered cunt who will never be able to give love properly. I'll tell you that, losing her parents messed up with her head I think. She lost them too early, and they couldn't teach her how to be a proper human. Now now you're going to tell me that I'm envious and perhaps I am, perhaps I envy the fact she was able to move on and go on and be successful without even crediting me for her success. Can you believe it? Today I am doing much better and I found love. I have my own success now and I have a great career. I don't think that she's evil, don't misquote me. I just think that she's not squeaky clean and it was long overdue that someone tells you who she really is. I hope I made myself clear?"

Short updated bio 2024: Sara edition

Short updated bio. (2023)

❥ — ɴᴀᴍᴇ - Sara Richardson

❥ — ᴍᴀᴛᴜʀɪᴛʏ - 25

❥ — ᴏᴄᴄᴜᴘᴀᴛɪᴏɴ - Singer

❥ — ʀᴇsɪᴅᴇɴᴄᴇ - New York

❥ — ʜᴏᴍᴇᴛᴏᴡɴ - Boston

❥ — sᴇxᴜᴀʟ ɪɴᴄʟɪɴᴀᴛɪᴏɴ - Bisexual

❥ — ʀᴇʟᴀᴛɪᴏɴsʜɪᴘ sᴛᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ - Homelander

❥ — ғᴀᴍɪʟʏ -   Father -  † (killed by Black Noir)

                         Mother -  †  (Killed by Black Noir)

                         Extended family - An Aunt and four cousins and their own families. (alive but estranged)

                         Homelander- Lover (alive)

                         Ryan - Step-son (alive)

❥ — Best friend: formerly Mallory Johnson (who also was her first girlfriend)

❥ — ᴘᴇʀsᴏɴᴀʟɪᴛʏ ::

  - Impulsive, independent, stubborn, strong-willed, compassionate, self-serving, intense, vindictive, ambitious, scaredy-cat.

❥ — Current events

     ❜  - She has crossed paths with her ex Tara, which sent her into a spiral.

     ❜  - Brett is in town and ready to cause trouble.

❥ — 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒.

❜  -  [N] Homelander  - Lover

❜  - [E]: Annie January / Starlight - friend. 

❜  - [Mine] Dotty - Legal guardian / Manager / Mother figure.

❜  - [Mine] Tara Bennet - Ex-girlfriend. 

❜  - [Mine] Brett- Ex-boyfriend 

❜  - [Mine] Duncan Davidson - Neighbourg and ex-fling. 

❜  - [Mine]     Billy Butcher - enemy. 

TB headcanon: firecracker

 Sara doesn't like her. She doesn't like the fact this bitch is trying to get into Homelander pants. Firecracker is an opportunist (much like Sara) but on top of it all a racist, xenophobic, and antisemitic asshole who will do her best to try and dismiss Sara. Firecracker learned about Sara's existence and has tried since then to belittle and prop herself up in Homelander's heart. Firecracker calls her "uppity" and as the hypocrite she is, always disparages her shows, her appearance, and the fact she has an Only Fans. In truth, Firecracker hates Sara and is disgusted that Homelander might be interested in her.  Sara heard of her attempts, mostly through A-Train as he was getting back at her for humiliating him.  The redhead is going to become a thorn in Sara's side. 

Klasma: freya and Nëela girls talk.

Klasma: Girls talk

// Had this little convo in mind. I think Freya would be the biggest supporter of Nëela and Klaus. I love how she points Elijah in the right direction and if he reconciles with our witch, then you can thank Freya for this. 

xxxxx

"What are you doing here Freya?" -Asked the witch behind the half-opened door. She was wearing a pair of jeans and a large t-shirt-

"I wanted to know how you were doing" -She said with a slight smile on his lips. She knew she'd be mad and she was right to be.-

"I said I didn't want to talk to any of you.  Are you kidding me, right now?" -She angrily said, tilting her head to the side and staring at her with her gleaming  golden eyes-

Freya looked at her and nodded quietly. Yes, moments ago Nëela ran to her bedroom at the mansion and screamed that she didn't want to talk to any of them. Freya watched her brother Klaus leave the mansion with haste and it didn't take her a long time to figure out that they had a fight. Klaus fought with everyone and it wouldn't be a surprise that he touched a nerve or two. Usually, they would let him throw his tantrum and let him sulk for a day or thousands if he needed to before they found him again.  This time it was different. This time he argued with someone, not a Mikaelson and Freya decided she would check on her. 

"I...know that you don't want to but I thought that... maybe you need to vent to someone? You haven't had the chance to talk or to introduce yourself to us. So I figured why not? Why not come and talk to you?" -She admitted with an apologetic expression in her eyes-

"I thought that you didn't care that much about me. I have been here for a week or so and you didn't really try. So now... now... " -She ran her hand through her curly hair and softened her facial expression when Freya showed her a big paper bag.-

"I bought some beer, let me in? We won't talk about my brother, I promise." She lifted her brows and smirked softly. "Come on, Nëela! "

"..... Alright Freya, come in. I was about to watch a movie and eat some popcorn anyway." -She said while she opened the door. "Be my guest, I'm taking the popcorn"

She informed the Original as she stepped into the room. The blonde witch smiled as she glanced at the bedroom. It was quite homely, filled with plants, books, and parchments scattered on her bed.  The room was large enough to contain a large black leather couch and a medium-sized TV. The decoration was really simple.  Freya sat on the couch and put the beers at her feet. 

"I am exhausted... Do you know what I mean? Exhausted to be a witch and cursed" -Asked Nëela who was standing near her with a pop-corn-filled bowl.

"That I can relate to... I have always wanted to live a normal life. I wanted to grow old, to have a family... to experience life as I was supposed to. I was robbed of that choice...I had to watch the people I love grow old and die." -She said as Nëela sat next to her and put the bowl on her lap-

"The first century alive was difficult. I'm not saying it became easier with time, it's just... It became my new normal. Meeting people, loving them... losing them. I decided to live like a recluse. It was easier that way." -She said with a light smile-

"Yeah... Easier... Until it wasn't. I think I could have done better without being hunted down." -Freya took a few popcorn from the bowl- 

"Ah... Tell me about it. " -She said with a broken voice. - "I have a coven of witches after me... Have had them for centuries now." - She ran her hand through her curly hair.-

"Why?" -She asked, her blue eyes staring at her with a deep concern in her voice.-

 

"Why?.. I forgot that Elijah didn't tell you about me." -She ran her hand over her face and bit her forefinger as hard as she could.- "The first time I met Elijah, he saved me. I was about to be assaulted when he arrived and killed the man who was trying to rape me.  I... felt grateful for it, for him... so when he came back a couple of years later, I didn't think twice about helping him." -She shrugged and outstretched her hand- "Can I have a beer please?"

"I...Yes, of course! " Freya grabbed a beer and gave it to the witch who opened it and took a few sips.

"My coven didn't appreciate it. They fought that I committed treason because I helped our sworn enemies. I tried to defend myself. I told them about Elijah rescuing me and about our oath to protect Nature and all of its creatures. They didn't want to hear me. I didn't sway them. I was a traitor so I had to be punished."

"You didn't deserve this, Nëela. You helped someone who helped you. You did the right thing. You have principles and honor." Freya's eyes grew wide open as she noticed how sad Nëela was. She was still angry at her coven for cursing her, but deeper than the anger lay the heartbreak. Freya never had a coven but she could compare Nëela's feelings to the ones she had when it came to her own family. 

"Thank you. I knew I was taking a risk when I helped Elijah but he came to me because he needed my help. I couldn't deny him. He loved his family and that proved to me that he still had some humanity left inside. He wasn't the cookie-cutter monster my coven and most of the witches thought he was. I assumed that if he was still able to have feelings, positive feelings like love then maybe the rest of the family could be the same. " -She said as she leaned into the couch and took another sip of her beer.-

The TV was on, and a procedural was airing during their conversations. It helped fill their silence and offered a very welcomed distraction to the two women.  Silence settled between the two of them, a comfortable one where Nëela could lean her head against Freya's shoulder. 

"I survived for centuries... Upon meeting Klaus, I realized that I wanted to live. He can be a pain in the ass but I'm not going to give up on him, no matter how hard he pushes me away."

"He tends to be a cunt, whether he wants to or not. I'm sorry he's been one to you today. I overheard your arguments." -Freya took a few popcorn and chomped on them.-

"He was...I can't say it didn't hurt me." -She bit harder on her forefinger, almost drawing blood to her teeth- "It fucking tore my heart in pieces... But I just need some time to recover. I don't want to talk about Klaus right now, it's too raw, it's too painful."

"Yeah? We don't have to talk about him. Screw Klaus. I don't have a coven after me but you know you can always come to me if you need some help with them."

"I appreciate that. The same goes for you. Freya.. I heard you grew up isolated from your family. How was it to reconnect with them?"

"......" -Freya took a handful of popcorn and munched on them, stuffing her face as she didn't want to answer the question. "Truth be told, there are still moments I don't feel fully like I belong to the family."

"Yeah? So you're still struggling... I understand. I struggle to feel like I fit in. Elijah kept me a secret for so long that now... now... I feel like I'm imposing myself." She said, furrowing her brows. Nëela put the bowl on the wooden table near her side of the chair and crossed her arms over her chest.-

"Trust me, you're not. I actually like you around. You do have quite the temper don't you?"

"I'm angry, part of it comes from the curse... It fucking hurts, especially when I'm overwhelmed." -She said, tossing her hair on the right and pulling her legs up-

"And the second part?" -Freya lifted a brow-

"And the other part of me is dealing with anger issues. How could I not be angry? Between being punished for helping a Mikaelson, to being in constant pain every single day, and to meeting people who either hate me, fear me, or like me but die on me.... I honestly don't know how I can handle going on day by day! I am so fucking angry! So angry!!!" -She growled and hit on the leather couch-

"Hey! Hey... Nëela....it's okay. I understand! We all do. We do have anger issues in the family, don't we? So in a way, that makes you fit in even more." -She said taking another sip. It made the witch chuckle a little bit and she nodded-

"You're right... You're right... It's just... Like I said before, I am exhausted. so Exhausted..."

"Then I suggest we let you rest a little bit. I understand why you're upset with my brother. I told him to leave Klaus and you alone and give you the space to process everything" - She turned to look at the witch and gently put a hand on her shoulder.-

"Why are you so nice to me?"

" You saved Klaus... More than once. You saved him and you saved Rebekah and you always made sure that my family was safe. You didn't owe us anything and yet you helped us. I feel grateful for you..." -She said with a slight grin- "Besides, you're pretty cool and you can tell off my brother."

"Thank you. You're pretty cool too." -She said with a slight pout on her lips.- 

She wanted to thank her for her kindness. Freya was the first one to actually take some time to talk to her and try to get to know her better. That simple gesture made her feel less isolated and much more welcomed. For the first time in her life, she managed to forget about how painful her curse felt while talking so openly with Freya. For the first time in her life, she might just be making friends with a kindred spirit and it felt good. Yes, it did. 

Doya headcanon: Her self-confidence

Her self-confidence: 

Oya is a very confident woman. She knows she's gorgeous and capable but always puts the focus on how capable she is. The only thing she doesn't like about herself is the deep scars on her arms. while they remind her of the time she was reckless, she also feels that they're quite ugly. Dean always makes sure to love up on the scars and make her feel beautiful. Her friends also make sure that she feels pretty, especially when she wears short sleeves.

SOA: With my best friend

Maya was safe and from the moment Mary realized that her sister was no longer in danger, she felt relieved. She didn't sleep that night, instead, she grabbed her phone and went through the pictures she had taken with Maya. She missed their nights out, their moments together.. she missed being able to drop by and sleep at her friend's or to have Maya come over. It took her a while to adjust to living in Charming without her sister. They had their favorite spots, they had so many memories that everywhere in this godforsaken town reminded her of her friend. Every corner of Charming reminded her of Maya's absence. It took a while for those feelings to stop hurting Mary, to stop making her feel bad for missing Maya because it felt as if she was not happy with her friend's new life. It couldn't be further from the truth. Mary was proud of Maya. It was proof that no matter how shitty your life was, there was still light at the end of the tunnel. Maya was proof that it was possible to turn your life around and start anew. It was proof that Mary could be happy... too. 

Maya had always expressed her desire to leave Charming, to have a different life than the one she was forced into. She wouldn't have to deal with gang shit. She wouldn't have to be a gangster princess anymore. No more connections to SAMCRO, no more connections to the people who were no longer there. She left the painful memories in this town and elevated herself to something better. Mary admired that. She admired Maya's resilience and strength and she felt so much joy to see her best friend finally having the life she deserved. Maya adopted cats, and she didn't want to be responsible for someone else's life. She thought she couldn't possibly have someone willing to share their life with her. Not only did a cat choose her, but two did. Not only did animals choose her, but human beings did too.  Nakota surely changed Maya's life trajectory and their love was beautiful to witness. Maya blossomed in this relationship. She learned to trust people. She learned to open up and found unconditional love with Nakota.  Mary, once she was sure that he had Maya's best interest in mind, relaxed around Nakota. He was a fun guy. He was kind, maybe a tad obsessed with her best friend but who wouldn't be? He treated Maya like she deserved and Mary trusted him to care for her. She trusted him to protect her the best he could and she trusted him, to give Maya the space and encouragement she needed to pursue her dreams. 

Three years later and this is exactly what he did. Maya left Charming. She had her own house, shared with pets and her now husband. She was focused on having her own business now and was finally doing something she wanted. It filled Mary's heart with joy and pride. She looked at a sleeping Anubis and a soft smile crept on her lips. Perhaps now was the right moment to focus on herself too? Perhaps now was the moment to put her needs first? Oscar was dead, so she wouldn't be hurt anymore. What did she want? What did she think she deserve? Mary believed that this was the life she deserved. A life with just a pet, her little house and her job. A life with little to no surprises but at least a safe life. Did she long for companionship? She convinced herself that it was for the best if Anubis was her only companion. She could have all the snuggles, all the kisses in the world and at least the certainty that she would never be hurt.  Besides, who would even look at her twice? No, she would save herself from the pain of a heartbreak. Maya was able to move forward and for this, Mary was grateful. Maya was able to build a life for herself and for this, Mary was hopeful. Perhaps she too could do that. Perhaps her life would stop being in shambles. Until then, she would visit Maya and Nakota with her dog Anubis and she would savor each and every moment spent in their company. 

-TBC-

GoT: Permission granted

Bäahal ran her hand over her tummy to self-soothe. She was nervous, especially since her fate would be discussed by the high council. She petitioned the queen, her sister Daenerys Targaryen, to allow her to travel the seven kingdoms like she used to do before the Redwyne's betrayal and the siege against her. She spent almost a year locked in the Red Keep both because she needed to heal but also because Jon and Jaime had devised a plan to force the Redwyne to out themselves as the instigator of such a treasonous act. They had to believe that the princess was dead otherwise they would have kept to themselves. While she understood the reasons for her situation, the silver head resented being locked in the castle. If anything, after the Last War and the crowning of her dear sister, Bäahal spent a long time trying to figure out what her role would be in this new era. 

She wasn't a politician, she wasn't a counselor either. She wasn't meant to stay in a castle and look pretty. She was meant to go as she pleased and talk to the common folks. Her desire for freedom led her to become her sister's ambassador among the commoners and led her to travel the seven kingdoms. She wanted to meet people, to show them that the crown cared about them and would provide their basic needs.  While the beginnings were difficult, she managed to win the hearts of her people and represent her sister the best. Daenerys appreciated the efforts her sister made to represent her to the commoners and noticed a behavior change when she walked the streets. There was more than fear or intrigued looks on their faces. She could see gratitude and admiration now and always made sure to thank her sister's hard work whenever she could. 

The siege changed everything. Daenerys didn't want her sister to take unnecessary risks. She refused to even consider the topic when they discussed it in private much to Bäahal's chagrin. Part of her understood her sister's reasons for refusing but another one was growing impatient. She needed to leave, she needed to travel the realm. She needed to escape the suffocating walls of the Red Keep and  Daenerys should have understood it better than anyone else. Since her private supplications didn't work, then a petition to the High Council might certainly help her.  She could see her sister's despair in her eyes, a silent plea for Bäahal to withdraw her petition and stop trying to leave the safety of the castle. Her own eyes exposed how mortified the princess had been because she knew her decision to leave would open freshly closed wounds but Bäahal could not help her true nature. 

She wasn't made for the walls and the gardens of the Red Keep. She wasn't meant for a sedentary life, spent withering like a flower in a vase. No! She was meant to ride her horse outside. She was meant to meet the people and care for them. She was meant for the life she built before the siege. If anything, that unfortunate event showed her just how important her work was. After all, wasn't she turning the people into Daenerys followers?  Still self-soothing, the princess wasn't paying attention to the raised voices in the war room. Her eyes were staring at Daenerys as if the two of them were having a conversation of their own. She looked at her fingers, at how hard they clenched to the fabric of her dress, at how bruised her fingers were for flattening her dress to soothe herself. 

It felt as if the world didn't exist but Daenerys understood her sister's motivation for leaving. She understood the first time Bäahal came to her and requested she become her ambassador. She understood why it became vital for her to leave the confines of the Red Keep. She was a free spirit and Daenerys couldn't possibly keep her contained in the castle. It would cause more harm than good. So she stopped the ongoing arguments and looked at Bäahal straight in the eyes. Her lips trembled but she firmly spoke, granting Bäahal the right to resume her role as an ambassador. That sentence alone elicited a sigh of relief from the princess who stopped self-soothing and looked at her sister with tears in her eyes. Finally, she was granted freedom again! 

However, the conditions were different from the first time. The queen refused to let her go with just two guards. It had to be at least five of them, vetted by Jon himself. She was requested to be more vigilant this time and to become more familiar with the noble houses and the history of Westeros so she would notice if something went wrong, unlike last time. She could do it, after all, Jaime had started to teach her and she could improve her knowledge with the help of the Red Keep's maesters. A smile graced her features and she stood up and bowed in front of the queen, thanking her for her generosity and understanding. She was free, at long last! 

COPG: remember it

"They wrote her off as easily gullible. They convinced themselves that they could keep her naive and clueless. They assumed she was weak.

Yet, here she was, free and fomenting her revenge. Here she was, honing her skills and embracing her power. Here she was, finally complete now that obscurity had been dispelled.

Now she saw clearly who she was, who she wanted to be, and what she desired the most in her life. She was true Balance. The thin equilibrium between chaos and order. That one nexus point between life and death. Here she was, ready to wipe out her pantheon and conquer the universe. Elpis was her name."

colby: Who was there?

"And who was there for me when I was breaking down? I am not a Madonna. I am not a saint, I am not without vices flaws, and fears. And what happens when I can't control it? What happens when I can't hide it anymore? Who is going to try and soothe my heart? Who is going to comfort me? Or should I remain silent and just take it, like I usually do? like I always do? Should I just let it eat away at my heart? 

You speak of me as if I was a cure to all of your ailments. As if I was not able to break down or be hurt when you're silent for months when you disappear and I have no goddamn idea of where you are and what you're doing. When you're so far away I can only pray for your safe return because I can't sleep at night. I can't when I imagine Arthur would come to me and tell me you're dead. I can't when I can see our son cry his eyes out because he saw your dead body in the streets. I can't because I know what you're looking for and why you're trying too damn hard to die. 

The only thing that crosses my mind on nights like these, is why I failed you. What didn't I do to help you? How could I let you suffer in silence, long enough for you to try to join your loved ones on the other side?  the only thing that crosses my mind is that I didn't love you enough because if I did... you'd feel better....So don't tell me that I'm your guardian angel. Don't tell me that I am a saint. Don't tell me that I have helped you when I can clearly see you're breaking down too.... so... I ask again... when all is said and done, who is going to comfort me when I am breaking down?"

COLBY: "It was you, Mary."

"It was /you/ Mary who stopped my heart from breaking when I was at my lowest.

It was /you/, Mary; who kept me together all those years after Grace's death... After John's..

It was /you/, Mary, who silenced my nightmares and helped me find my sleep again.

So don't tell me that you're wasting my time. Don't tell me that you're holding me back.

Don't fucking tell me that I would be better if you were gone.

If you've gone... If you're gone. It's my brain matter you'll find scattered around. It's my blood and my guts you'll find on that very floor. So... please... Don't go. Don't leave me"

Got (modern): I promised my mother

I promised my mother that I would always live my life the way she would have wanted it.  She wanted me to be proud of myself and to always make sure I didn't disappear to please others. I wanted the Targaryens to accept me, I wanted my family to acknowledge me and to get it, and I was willing to go above and beyond for them just to be accepted. Not anymore. Not any fucking more.

GoT (regular): You are all of my world.

I never thought that all my world could hold into a single embrace. You are my everything, Jaime Lannister, my love, my consort and you're now part of my family too, and a hug from you... A hug from you is all I need. It's all I need.

hotd: Daemon x Ceryse

Ceryse longed for the sea. She longed for the days she could set sail and spend weeks if not months at sea. Unfortunately, since her father's death, the Lady of Driftmark didn't have any opportunity to do what she loved the most. Vaemond Velaryon was the only one who understood her desire to navigate until the gods claimed her sight, but Otto Hightower and now Daemon Targaryen didn't share the same opinion. Ceryse became a trophy to be kept on a shelf. She became an asset to protect and use when the time was right. They ignored the person she was and only saw her as a commodity to further their plans. Well... It was true for Otto Hightower, but for Daemon Targaryen, it was somehow more complex. 

Daemon first saw her as a distraction. She was a beautiful maiden, the daughter of a man who disrespected the queen and her heirs. He liked the idea that he was the one who killed her father and who took her maidenhood. He insisted on it being a willful act from her, thinking that it would just twist the knife a little harder in her flesh. At the start of it all, it worked. Ceryse felt as if she had betrayed her own father because the man who claimed her was the one who killed him. She couldn't reconcile the fact she did something so intimate and so good with someone she loathed more than anything else in the world. Daemon relished in her tortured face, the anger that was boiling just beneath the surface, the shame and yet the desire for more he could see in her eyes. He had fun with it. At first. 

Things started to take a strange turn as he found himself more and more drawn to the young woman. He couldn't exactly explain why he was drawn to her but he wanted to be with her. When he wasn't busy, all of his thoughts went to her. Not Rhaenyra, not his daughters... but Ceryse. He remembered his hands wrapped around her neck, holding onto her thigh and his lips kissing their way up to her ears, or down to her belly. He remembered vividly how she sounded when he was deep inside her, or how she felt around him. He remembered her beautiful face, her hands holding onto the sheets of her bed, her hazel eyes staring at his face as if she didn't want to forget him. He wanted it and then some more. The prince consort caught himself thinking about waking up to her, allowing his rough and calloused hands to cup her soft face, or travel her tauth and skin tanned by years of sea fearing. He caught himself dreaming of crowning her his queen instead of Rhaenyra and having her sit by his side as his rightful lover. Was he falling in love with her? He didn't know, and truth be told, he didn't want to think about it. But she did. 

"I can no longer remain here, Daemon. I have to leave and go back to King's Landing."

"What if I refused? What if I wanted you here with me?"

"Here? In this abandoned house? Am I your prisoner?" -She questioned while she was quietly brushing her hair.-

A prisoner she certainly was. At least at the beginning. It became obvious that Daemon couldn't keep her in that isolated place forever, lest he wanted her to lose her mind. He didn't want to watch her whither furthermore but it became clear that the greens were not ready to give up the throne. A war might be inevitable if things didn't change. That was the reason for Daemon's torment. He didn't want to send her back and certainly didn't want to keep her in this little house like something he wanted to hide. Daemon was a man of passion and he wanted to be able to live as he saw fit. He wanted Ceryse to be by his side. He wanted her to live at Dragonstone with him... with Rhaenyra and his children. He wanted... no... He needed her presence, so hearing her claim that she was a prisoner didn't sit well with him. it implied that she didn't want to be here with him. It implied that he was a monster. He didn't like it and he clenched his jaw.

"You're not my prisoner." -He didn't sound convinced by what he was saying and she noticed.- "However, I don't see what's different between you staying here with me and being locked at King's Landing."

"Vaghar is the difference.  Caraxes is brave but he doesn't have the experience and the size of Vhagar. Aemond Targaryen respects his grandsire and if Otto Hightower wants me back to King's Landing, he would send his best soldier and his best dragon after you. You don't strike me as someone who has a death wish, Daemon."

"I am /not/ afraid to go to war, my lady. I have been to countless battles."

"In a time of peace....Far away from the battlefield with even players. We haven't seen dragons go after dragons for ages so don't pretend that you're not worried at the very least at the prospect of fighting a dragon rider." -She pinched her lips together, her tone was harsh and felt like a slap in his face.- 

He didn't like it when she pointed out exactly what he had been trying to hide from the rest of the world. Ceryse might have been going blind, she could see right through him as if she could read his very thoughts. The older man walked towards the young woman. He watched as she didn't flinch when he approached her, as if she was expecting this behavior from him. His fingers twitched and he outstretched his hand towards her, which made her tilt her head to the side, almost giving him access to her gracile neck. 

"Thread carefully, Lady of Driftmark."

"Or what? Or you will put me through your sword like you did my Sire?  -He squeezed not her neck but her jaw, holding onto her cheeks with as much strength as he could. He wanted to bruise her, to make her regret the venom that escaped her lips. He wanted to make her apologize for seeing him as he truly was rather than the man he portrayed for all to see. She snarled as his hand forced her mouth open but her hazel eyes were still staring at him with defiance. 

"What is it with Seafarers that makes them think they can address their king with such disrespect?"

"I am Ceryse Velaryon and I haven't been taught to back down regardless of my situation. I was taught that violence was the language of the weak. Are you weak, Daemon Targaryen? Are you so sensitive that my assessment hurt your feelings?" She dropped her arms on each side of her body, effectively demonstrating that she would not try to challenge his physical advantage over her. However, the judgment he could read on her face had the prince remove his hand and narrow his gaze. She was not afraid of him, not when he thought that she would ever compromise her honor for his petty games.  Daemon was a bully, he had always been, and even right now, even after all the filth he did to her and had her partake in, he was trying to bully her into submission. 

"...I might have... been a little too frustrated with the way you addressed me." -He was trying to deflect the topic and shift her focus to something else but he could see that she wasn't falling for his trick. Instead, as he removed hiçs fingers from her face, she put her own on her jaw to massage the bruised skin. "Perhaps... I do not want you to leave this place."

"Why? What good would that do to me? I need the sea. I need to be able to trust the people I live with and no matter what happens between the two of us, I hate you Daemon because you killed my father."

Her lips trembled and the Lady of Driftmark resumed brushing her hair.  Daemon intensely looked at her, searching for his next words. He could feel his chest heave up and down harder than before and his fingers clench and unclench as he didn't know what to do next. His body moved faster than his mind because he was on his knees. In the blink of an eye, he wrapped his arms around her frame and pulled her into a hug. He felt her body stiffen and her head lower so she could look at his face. Daemon didn't dare move to look at her face, instead, he focused on her collarbone. 

"Your father knew the risk when he disrespected the princess in front of the king. His death was justice to the crime he committed against the crown."

"I don't care. My father was my best friend. He had my best interest at heart and I miss him every single day. I miss him here, I miss him at King's Landing. You took something from me you will never be able to replace." *She said with venom in her mouth. Usually, Daemon would have waved at her words. He would not have felt the pang that crushed his heart. He simply wouldn't have cared if it was any other person, but Ceryse wasn't just any other person. He was confused because as much as he wanted to use her, to possess her, he also felt more for her. Daemon found himself unable to keep a straight mind whenever she was involved and he found himself clinging a little harder on her. 

"I'm not a monster, Ceryse. I'm not.." -He repeated, in an attempt to soothe himself rather than convince her. She remained stoic, eyes lost staring at the ceiling while the man who wrecked her heart was holding onto her.-

He played a cruel game with the Lady of Driftmark. He manipulated the young lady throughout her captivity. They grew closer to each other when she was at her most vulnerable, confused between hatred towards that man and appreciative of his hospitality.  Her lack of experience, her curiosity and her yearning for being touched with spoken desire were too appealing for her. He knew how to touch her, delicately so, excruciatingly slowly just so she could discover yearning for someone's touch. She gave in to him. It was a beautiful first time, one that led to many others where she felt good, powerful, and desired. She went into a frenzy of carnal desire and an intimacy that could have made the gods blush. Yet, at the same time, Ceryse was feeling filthy. She was having sex with the murderer of her father, someone who clearly hated her. She wanted to kill him, to cleanse herself, to ask for forgiveness for betraying her father. She grew resentful towards the Targaryen and yet, whenever he was kissing her, her legs gave up. Her heart beat faster. Her eyes shut tighter until he made them open wide so she could see him. It was a toxic relationship, something she ought to put an end to. It was an awful situation that broke her heart and made her feel disgusted for herself. 

Ceryse put her hand on his shoulder and slowly moved it to his neck. She stroked the hard skin of the Targaryen and looked at the ceiling to gather some strength. For the first time since their back and forth, Daemon was vulnerable and she felt that she could take advantage of it. The young Velaryon needed to escape and the way to do it was to convince Daemon to let her go. He didn't want /her/ to think of him as a monster, so if she played her hand well, he would take her back to King's Landing and she would not be under his influence and presence anymore.  She held his neck and pressed his head against her ample chest. He closed his eyes and held onto her tighter, almost crushing her lungs in the process. Good! That meant he was desperate for her approval, desperate for a positive word from her.

"Then set me free, Daemon. You say you're not a monster but for this to be true, you can't keep me prisoner here. I have to go back to King's Landing. We all have to play our part in this situation."

"Is getting married to Otto Hightower your part?"

"No. Surviving the war is. I have to survive as the last member of my immediate family. I struck a deal and I intend to honor my word. It mattered to my family! it mattered to my father! It matters to me! So...If you're not a monster as you claim, you have to let me go Daemon. Your fight isn't with me and I play no role in your quest for power." -She closed her eyes and whispered softly. "Let me go."

"Your loyalty is commendable, Ceryse, but your stubbornness is going to be the death of you."

"If there is a war..."

"when..."

"/IF/ there is a war, and the blacks win and I manage to survive, then I would be yours. I know you would execute those who lost the war, the traitors as you would surely call them. I know I would not be bound to Otto Hightower if he's dead." 

The silver-head was carefully choosing her words. She couldn't claim that she wanted to belong to him, no... It had to come across as a bargain, as a promise of her willful sacrifice for his desire. It had to be devoid of potential emotions so he wouldn't think that she was in love with him. Yet, she had to make him swallow the hard pill. She had to make sure that he would not become violent with her and decide to kill her on the spot. He could have. She had no doubt about it. He could have but he didn't. 

"Fine. I will take you back to the Red Keep. I would let you play your part as you said while I play mine. When the war breaks and I win it, you will belong to me, Ceryse. You will belong to me because I said so. Because I want to own you. I own you.." 

He grabbed her jaw again with his large hand, squeezing so hard that it elicited a groan from the Lady of Driftmark. She shot him a daring glare and put her hand against his, to try and push it away from her face. Daemon saw that as an opportunity to press his lips to hers and steal a kiss, while his free hand grabbed her breast and squeezed it roughly. She groaned again and squeezed the wrist of that hand. She struggled and pushed him off of her. he struggled with her and managed to overpower her. She managed to scratch his face, hard enough for him to groan and snarl and to have him release her jaw. 

He took a step back and lifted his hand, ready to strike her face before he dropped it. He just pleaded with her not to be seen as a monster and he almost hurt her. It didn't make any sense but since when did Daemon make sense? The Targaryen ran his hand through his hair, then his face, and noticed that she had scratched him to blood. Fuck! what did he do?  He walked away from her and looked up at the ceiling for a moment to gather his thoughts. She slowly found her composure and managed to resume brushing her hair.  he made up his mind. he would let her go. he had to. 

klasma: Only a mind

Only a mind that has been through the same path as Klaus can understand how much it takes from him to be both immortal and a hybrid.  Nëela might not have been a hybrid, it took her the curse cast upon her to understand how immortality worked on someone's mind. It fractured hers. After a couple of centuries, she lost her sense of self, lost her principles, and indulged far more easily her darkest urges. the last century was spent trying to reconnect to the human part of herself. It was spent trying to piece herself back together. 

Only a mind that has been through the same path as Klaus can understand why he did what he did. She understood him and she understood that he would try and push her away. He would try and make her angry. He would try to make her leave him. He would try to make her hate him because how could she not? How could she not after all the blood he had on his hands? How could she not want to part ways with him after his sharp tongue lashed out at her and threw venom her way? He couldn't believe she would not leave and break his heart. Yet, she was adamant to show him how wrong he was.  

TB: love persevered.

Sara has had her heart broken so many times. She didn't know a human being could handle so much pain in such a long time. The constant slew of betrayals she experienced should have hardened her heart but ultimately, it kept it soft. It kept it kind and it kept it hopelessly romantic. 

From the moment she was born, Sara had never known true love. Her parents used her for fame and money. They even went as far as to inject her with compound V. They exploited her until they both were killed by Black Noir. At the orphanage, she fell in love with Mallory... another teenager who became her first love. Mal taught her that she could be loved but ultimately, her demons were so overwhelming that she left Sara. Brett and Tara both left her and left Sara heartbroken and alone. 

So how could she still believe in love? How could she believe that she was worthy of being loved and cared for?  She had no answer for that and decided not to try and find it. Her heart had been torn apart, broken into pieces, and stomped on. Still, love persevered. Wasn't it a miracle?

TB: They say he is scary.

They say he is scary, they say he's a monster but I can't hear that noise. I can't see him as such because I know he wants to protect our species. I can't see him as such because he's always so good with me.  

They don't know him like I do. They don't love him like I do. They don't see just how much care and love he has for his kind and how much he wants to protect his family...How sensitive he can be. I guess it's because of his powers or maybe because he is charismatic. 

I don't know but I feel bad for him. I feel bad that people don't want to see him for who he is but don't fret my love. I am here. I love you and I will make sure that you never feel alone. 

Doya headcanon: Her memories // the holidays

Oya has started to forget the sound of her loved ones. She doesn't mention it but she's in distress over not being able to remember. She has forgotten their faces. She has forgotten their scent. She still remembers some events in her life but the faces of her family are now blurred.  So, to remember, she wrote her memories on pieces of paper and journals. She sometimes goes back to read them when the memories are too old and she's started to forget enough for her to wonder if it happened or not. 

xxx

One thing I love about these holidays is that Dean indulges me with photos and selfies. I feel pretty, sexy, and adorable at the same time! I love it even more when he calls me Shorty, but I won't tell him that.