TB: Did you know?

//Well, Sara suffers from PTSD from the abuse she received at the hands of her former relationships. To this day she hasn't dealt with what happened to her and every time she hears from her former lovers/ abusers she freaks out and breaks down. This came right after she read what Tara said about ther. 

"Did you know about this, Dot? " -Sara threw the tabloids on the table of her manager.-

"Why do you bother reading this? I told you that you shouldn't be reading garbage." -Dotty removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose. Her blue eyes set upon the magazines and she noticed that Tara's interview was plastered all over.-

"Did you /know/  about this, Dot??? Did you know she would give an interview to Vaught News? Did you know what she said about me?"

"Forget about this, baby. It's irrelevant!" -Sara hit her chest in protest of what Dotty was saying to her. -

"It's fucking /relevant!/ She said shit about /me/!!!" Sara hit the table with her hand and Dotty gasped as she didn't expect her protegee to hit the table this hard. Sara was losing her composure and unfortunately for her, it led to an anxiety attack. "She said shit about me!"

Dotty watched as Sara kept pushing her hair behind her ears. She was breathing heavily and her eyes quickly filled with unshed tears. She couldn't stop herself from crying and walked in circles. Dotty stood up and outstretched her hand towards the young woman. Sara couldn't see her, the tears rolled down her cheeks and she shook from head to toe. Flashbacks of Tara belittling her, threatening her, and making her feel lesser then came back to her. Tara spoke of her as if it was the truth as if she was really this pathetic and this easy to read. Dotty walked toward Sara and grabbed her shoulders to soothe her. Sara pushed her away, refusing to be touched by the older woman and she recoiled to the corner of the room.  The singer then knelt on the floor and sobbed louder.  She kept pushing her hair behind her ears, unable to stop the self-soothing gesture, and screamed. 

Dotty could feel her heart sink in her chest as she knew just how easily Sara could spiral. Tara and Brett had both traumatized her so much that the singer could barely keep herself together when she heard about them. Dotty tried her best to keep her safe, making sure that she wouldn't read anything online or wouldn't watch interviews on TV. Deep down, the older woman knew just how much pain Tara and Brett inflicted on Sara. She didn't know the extent of it, but she could see the bruises and cuts on her body, she was there when Sara needed to go to the hospital to have her ribs fixed or a plaster on her legs. While she never admitted it out loud, Dotty felt that she failed her protegee. She failed Sara. Even now she failed to protect her from a breakdown. 

"I'm here. I'm here baby. Tara's garbage. Whatever she said in that interview wasn't true. it wasn't true. Are you sensitive? yes! Fragile? at times, yes! You didn't meet the right people and weren't loved properly but that doesn't make you defective. You are not... you are not what she said you were! Sara! Sara, please look at me."

But Sara was still crying. She couldn't calm down and the words Dotty was desperately saying didn't reach out to her ears. She could hear DOtty but couldn't understand her. The words didn't reach out to her brain. How could they when panic had swallowed Sara? Dotty shook her head and tried to think of another way to reach out to the young woman. She put her hands before her where Sara could see them and slowly moved them to brush over Sara's hands. 

"Sara.. Breathe.  Breathe... You're safe here. You're safe..."

Sara looked up to Dotty's face. She saw her wet eyes, tears that had streamed down her face as she felt her protegee's pain. It was enough to help Sara focus on her face and tilt her head to the side. She slowly grabbed Sara's hands and held onto them with her warm hands. Sara's black orbs stared at the older woman's blues. She kept repeating the words, she kept telling Sara she was safe and that nothing could happen to her, enough for Sara to calm down. 

"Wh... Why? Why don't they leave me be? Why do they have to come back and hurt me, Dotty? She dumped me years ago! why is she trying to hurt me again?" She moaned out and sobbed harder. "I am exhausted, Dot. Exhausted... Hasn't she hurt me enough?"

"She will never be satisfied until you're groveling at her feet. She... noticed you were doing better and she wanted to destroy whatever happiness you felt. It's her...She's defective, not you. not you!!" -She cupped Sara's cheeks and gently stroked her skin.- "Please Sara... You should seek therapy. I can't... I can't help you the way I want to. I don't have the knowledge to guide you through this. They hurt you and they... you're still hurting, baby."

"No! I don't want to talk to someone about what happened. I don't want to relive this, Dot. I don't want to relive the shit they put me through... Don't make me. Please!" She said, her lips still trembling. "I just want everything to stop... I just.. need everything to stop." She said, still sobbing before she slowly lay on the floor, her head against Dotty's thighs. She curled into a ball and cried, more softly this time than before. Dotty ran her hand through her hand through Sara's black locks and sighed, defeated by the situation. 

"I won't make you. It's okay... it's okay baby... You're okay." 

But would she be?