Doya: Date night part 2: The vintage cars
"Yup, that's us! he still doesn't like selfies but he promised and since he won that freaking paintball game, he also won a week of free cleaning from me. So he can indulge a little bit of self-love right? How did that vintage cars exhibition go? perfect as you can imagine. I was so nervous, like the fuck would I do if it didn't work fine? owner was a victim I saved from a monster, some months ago so he gratefully accepted to let Dean drive his old cars. I didn't get to drive because I wanted to film it. I filmed the cars, I went inside with Dean and filmed him driving a little bit and captured his very emotions. He felt like a kid in a candy store. his eyes were filled with stars and excitment and his smile, oh his beautiful smile. I felt my heart race, like a bitch. it hurt even because I couldn't contain my happiness. that was the Dean I wanted to see. Happy, relaxed, enjoying things he loved to do that didn't involve killing or hunting.
I arranged for Sam to take any case that would come up so Dean and I would have our special moment. It was the an anniversary date, my one year with the winchesters actually. I didn't want to turn this event into something more even though I could feel my heart wishing I could. but what more? there was nothing more. he didn't see me the way I did, didn't need more from me than what I gave him. I know.. I know it all too well that's why I am fighting my emotions right now. I kissed his lips, a little more enthusiastically than usual. I looked at him a lot more lovingly than usual but he didn't notice, did he? he'd freak out if he knew.. I'd freak out if I admitted it, so I won't admit it. never! I'd die with my feelings in my heart, if my poker face game could be a lot better though.
Because, I barely held myself back and nearly told him he was going to have a gun at dinner. a vintage Smith and Wesson to go along with his weapon collection. I had to look out and spend a shit ton of money to get my hands on it, but I did. I wanted to. it was for him. Sam had his present already, a book of African spells that would do wonders with some of the monsters that existed in America and Sam got a skype convo with me too. it was enough I thought because.. Sam was more of a brother to me than anything else right? I just wanted to let him know I cared about him and was grateful for him in my life. it was simple with Sam, easier...with Dean...I knew deep down saying "I love you" or "love you"" was different than with Sam. the meaning was different. I didn't love him like a brother, we wouldn't have had sex if that was the case right? I loved him.. differently.
I twitched nervously on the chair of the last car we rode together because I knew that soon after we'd have dinner. Aside from the gun I knew he would love, I did crafted something for him. It was sculpted in wood, a heart and two sticks piercing through it. He doesn't know what it is, but it's an enchanted item, a protective trinket if you prefer. one like a tattoo or a special artifact. this heart shaped pendant, to be efficient, has to be sculpted by the hand of someone feeling genuine love for you. -it doesn't have to be romantic love. a mother could do one to her kid, a brother to his siblings but usually it was a gift lovers gave each other.- I refused to acknowledge how I felt when I was sculpting it and even less now that I wanted to give it to him but he had to get it right? he had to get it. it only protects from the spells that mess around with the mind, as in.. he would never be forced to forget about who he is. memory loss would not work and possession if successful would never truly consumme him. he would always find his way back, always keep a piecce of himself. it wasn't much but it was enough.
He saw I wasn't feeling well, so in between kisses he cupped my cheek and pushed my face up so I would look at him. "What's wrong?" he would ask, but I would just shake my head and say nothing was wrong and I couldn't wait to take him out to dinner. see, I was treating him well. I was taking him out on a date and I am not sure he realized I was actually wooing him out. I wanted him to feel okay. I wanted him to feel well. I wanted him.....I wanted to give myself some strength for the real main event. dinner. fancy dinner with canddles and shit. fancy dinner where I'd get to wear a killer dress and make myself pretty. fancy dinner where I would let him know without telling him, just how much he was the center of my universe. I was scared and he felt it but I had fun because he had some and because we rode some nice cars eh! I thought he wouldn't like that day, buthe held my hand while we were changing cars, this time leaving the exhibition after we thanked the owner, to go back to Baby. he held my fucking hand and I looked up to his face. "It was great Oya."
"YOu liked it?"
"You bet I did. Have you seen all the beauties that guy had?"
"I have." I said in a chuckle before he intwined his fingers with mine. I stopped and looked up to his face again, unsure of what that mean but I knew it all was in my head.
"You have no reason to be this nervous Oya." He said in a chuckle. "you look as if I was going to kill you. Relax."
"MMmmhhh the best is yet to come. I can't fuck this one up. I was a homerun!" I said before he pulled me against his frame and kissed me again. He had to bend forward to reach my lips and since I was pressed against the car, he didn't mind. both hands were on each side of me holding Baby while he deepened the kiss. I closed my eyes for a second and then opened them again and grinned. "What was that for?"
"Your husbando is very happy with how things turned out. I think he's hungry and wouldn't mind dinner."
"Okay. but first we freshen up, so let's go back to the motel and get ready for the night 'kay?"
He sniffed his clothes and shrugged his shoulders. whatever floated my boat right?
But I was wondering what he had in mind and if he understood...just how much I was willing to give so he could be happy, even if that didn't last long.
Even for a second.
(TBC)
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