JB (modern) What would happen if you ever died?

 JB (regular): 

What would happen if you ever died? I couldn't dare think about it. I couldn't try to imagine life without you. I know I would survive you, for I cannot give up on my family. I would live for them, I would do my best to keep them safe but I would be devastated if you are gone. Oh Jaime, you give me purpose. you give me a reason to fight every morning. I didn't expect to know love in this lifetime and was certain that I would die serving others, be it family, be it friends, be it the throne...I was about to give myself to this life. I didn't trust people, let alone men. To me they were all the same, taking whatever they wanted with no consideration for the others. 

I went through so much shit, you know them all. Being used as an object because I wasn't born in the right family. Being despised, desired, abused for everything I had. I had nothing but my pride and the desire to fulfill my mother's dream of freedom. I was free but upon discovering freedom, I was burdened with uncertainty and darkness. What to do now that I was free? I placed myself in the service of my sister, thinking that my life was no worthy of more. I was willing to become her blade, her shield, whatever she needed to be safe but I didn't think about me. You made me. You saved me. 

So how could I go on without you? I would lose my raison de vivre! You are a man I trust. You are a man I fell in love with. The first and I hope, my last. I searched the seven kingdoms for you. I cried out your name when I was dying from starvation. I only want you... even now as I am confronted with the idea of you losing your life to find the traitors to the thrones, I cannot imagine myself love another human being. I can't. I simply can't. You are my everything and I beg of you... I beg of you to survive. I know, I know my sister might not allow us to be together, but I surely would feel better if you were alive rather than dead. I would still be able to protect you from afar, to love you from a distance and ensure your family's safety...Do not die. I beg of you. Do not die for if you do die, I will die with you. My always and forever! My beloved. 

-TBC-