"I wonder at times if you understand my heavy silence. I wonder if you realize that I feel I can't say the words I want to say or express the thoughts that plague my heart because I'm worried... I'm worried you would not understand and you would be angry with me. I'm worried because you might feel that I don't trust you...When I would put my life in your hands in a heartbeat. When I would trust you would survive anything you might want to do. When I gave you my heart to keep.
Still...
Sometimes I wonder if you realize that I can't bear the idea of your death. I can't bear it...Despite your desire to keep moving until you find someone stronger than you. Despite your desire to play daredevil so you could feel alive. Despite your anguish and guilt over the deaths of your family. I fear your death. I fear losing you. I fear losing you,... I don't want to be in a world where you're not but how could I tell you these words without you lashing out? So I swallow my words. I swallow my tears. I put a smile on my face because I trust you will survive your enemies. I trust you will come back to me. I trust we would live together and raise our children...should we have any together...God's willing...God's willing.
Still...."
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